Larry Kart is Back

[Larry Kart]

I somehow still have warm feelings for my wife but don't understand what she was thinking when she put me in there and lied to me in order to do so. All she will say about it  is "I can't go back" (presumably in time). And she came to visit me only three times in those six months.

[Larry Kart]

She said "This is the best place for you," and because dementia is a progressive disease all I could conclude was that she thought I should stay there until I died. But I was only 81, and my dad, though there are no guarantees, made it to 95. Also, when I talked to my friends on the phone, they all said I sounded like myself, and I thought I did too -- though the was then cited was then cited as evidence a la Catch 22 of my continuing deterioration  (as in  "what would a demented person think"). My lawyer said it was the most amazing situation he had ever encountered. And my wife's role/motivation  remains a mystery to me. My shrink's verdict: "second marriage."

[Brad]

11 minutes ago, Larry Kart said:

She said "This is the best place for you," and because dementia is a progressive disease all I could conclude was that she thought I should stay there until I died. But I was only 81, and my dad, though there are no guarantees, made it to 95. Also, when I talked to my friends on the phone, they all said I sounded like myself, and I thought I did too -- though the was then cited was then cited as evidence a la Catch 22 of my continuing deterioration  (as in  "what would a demented person think"). My lawyer said it was the most amazing situation he had ever encountered. And my wife's role/motivation  remains a mystery to me. My shrink's verdict: "second marriage."

This probably counts as prying and my apologies in advance but are you and your wife still together. 

[Larry Kart]

Yes we are, technically I suppose,we're not sharing the same dwelling, but and she still says warm caring things to me. My shrink and my lawyer both say how can you ever trust her again? Then there are heavy duty financial considerations. --- a prenuptial agreement that would take a large chunk out of my assets, divorce maybe less so, but I stlll care for her, don't want to hurt her.  I don't think of her as a venal person, but she does have a lawyer and who knows?

[clifford_thornton]

What a mess. I hope it gets sorted out positively for you. And yes, dementia is a progressive disease and I hope you have some folks around that can help you out without hindering normal life too much.