Groucho Marx anecdotes, sayings

[Joe]

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

"I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived."

"Quote me as saying I was misquoted."

"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."

"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"

[kdd]

Woman: Hold me closer...closer

Groucho: If I held you any closer, I'd be behind you

Groucho (to two woman): Let's get married

Dumont: But that's bigamy

Groucho: Well it's big of me too

[ghost of miles]

Thanks for the tip on that box, Berigan. I'll probably pick it up...

Let us not forget this classic, all-but-sacred text:

Edited April 9, 2004 by ghost of miles

[ghost of miles]

Definitely getting that box come May 4. Speaking of avatars, Jim, is that S.J. Perleman occupying your box now? I have an old Modern Library compendium of his stuff... he worked on Monkey Business and perhaps some other early Marx flicks too, though I can't remember which at the moment.

[JSngry]

It is indeed Perelman. I was hoping to find one of those wack Hirschfield chariactures that populated many of his (Perelman's) books, but other than one that would not make a good avitar, I came up blank.

Perelman was brilliant, afaic. Witty, surreal, unfiltered misanthropy with a total command of the language is a "can't miss" in my bood.

[Alexander]

Woman: Hold me closer...closer

Groucho: If I held you any closer, I'd be behind you

Groucho (to two woman): Let's get married

Dumont: But that's bigamy

Groucho: Well it's big of me too

It's big of all of us. Let's be big for a change.

[Alexander]

Groucho: And remember, when you're out there risking life and limb, through shot and shell...we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

-Duck Soup

Chico: Let's-a put-a da house here.

Groucho: No, it'll have to be here. I don't want junior crossing the tracks on his way to reform school.

-The Coconuts

Edited April 17, 2004 by Alexander

[frank m]

On a ship==

Groucho (looking out to sea): Is that a U-Boat?

Chico: Atsa No my boat.

[ghost of miles]

Groucho as Wagstaff teaching a class in HORSEFEATHERS, after Harpo has replaced an educational poster with a portrait of a scantily-clad woman:

GROUCHO: Upon closer examination... hmm, this needs a closer examination. In fact it needs a nightgown. Baravelli, is this your picture?

CHICO: I no think so. It no look like me.

Full scene dialogue here. It's one of my favorite Marx scenes.

[ghost of miles]

Wagstaff: Oh, you do, do you? Well you're wrong again! If there was a snake here, I'd apologize. Where would this college be without football? Have we got a stadium?

Professor One: Yes.

Wagstaff: Have we got a college?

Professor One: Yes.

Wagstaff: Well, we can't support both. Tomorrow we start tearing down the college.

Both professors: But professor! Where will the students sleep?

Wagstaff: Where they always sleep. In the classroom.

[ghost of miles]

According to the Marx Brothers website, there's a chance that the five Paramount films could come out this fall:

According to Variety, Universal Studios is considering releasing the first five movies later this year to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the release of Cocoanuts (according to an USAToday article from the same day there are no such plans).

In the meantime, I'm pretty psyched for the MGM/RKO box. It appears that NIGHT AT THE OPERA, A DAY AT THE RACES, and A NIGHT IN CASABLANCA will all be available separately... but if you want all three, you'll pay about as much as you pay for the box anyway.

[ghost of miles]

This also looks interesting. I may have to bite on it when I order the box-set.