BillF Posted March 2, 2022 Report Share Posted March 2, 2022 3 hours ago, Ken Dryden said: Woman to her husband’s psychiatrist: My husband thinks he’s a refrigerator. Doctor: You shouldn’t worry, that seems harmless. Woman: But he sleeps with his mouth open and the little light keeps me awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Dryden Posted March 2, 2022 Report Share Posted March 2, 2022 The problem with political jokes is that all too often, they get elected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 2, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2022 I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing forty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcam_44 Posted March 3, 2022 Report Share Posted March 3, 2022 11 hours ago, Ken Dryden said: The problem with political jokes is that all too often, they get elected. Haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 3, 2022 Report Share Posted March 3, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 3, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2022 I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 3, 2022 Report Share Posted March 3, 2022 The women of comedy are coming on strong here lately! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 4, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 Should I know who the last two are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 It's their jokes! Google a joke and often enough you can find it's source. Maybe not who actually wrote it, but that's another story, sometimes... Wendy Liebman has been around a whole. Janine DiTullio had too, but an old guy like me wouldn't know that, maybe? At some point... can't, so don't. Anyway, comedy has been a hobby of mine for a while now, so I like knowing whose work it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Dryden Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 Not sure which jokes you attribute to these women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 https://quotefancy.com/quote/1297296/Wendy-Liebman-I-go-running-when-I-have-to-When-the-ice-cream-truck-is-doing-sixty https://www.just-one-liners.com/i-finally-have-a-dental-plan-i-chew-on-the-other-side/ Just Google the joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 5, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 I come from a small town whose population never changes. Each time a woman gets pregnant, someone leaves town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 5, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 I like to watch TV with my neighbors. They have cable and a big screen TV, and I have binoculars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Dryden Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 (edited) On 3/5/2022 at 4:20 PM, GA Russell said: I like to watch TV with my neighbors. They have cable and a big screen TV, and I have binoculars. You must be a lipreader, or they play the TV very loud and your homes are very close... The meanest man in a town died. The family was unable to get any pastor to speak at the funeral service, so they finally asked the rabbi, who agreed to do it. He began his eulogy with, "His brother was worse..." True story: There was a hated Hollywood mogul who died (Louis Mayer?) and there was a large turnout for his funeral. One person who attended said, "Everyone wanted to make sure that he was dead." Red Skelton had an idea about what caused the large crowd for the service: "You know the old Hollywood axiom: Give the people what they want and they'll turn out!" Edited March 6, 2022 by Ken Dryden Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 6, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2022 Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 8, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 I lost my job at a cemetery because I used to practice ventriloquism at the funerals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 11 hours ago, GA Russell said: I lost my job at a cemetery because I used to practice ventriloquism at the funerals. That's funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Dryden Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 Morticians' mottos: "All men are cremated equal." "We're the last ones to let you down." Obstetricians' mottos: "Always at your cervix." "We deliver." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 8, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 Models have such skinny bodies, their heads look big. The high fashion look they're going for is the Pez dispenser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 8, 2022 Report Share Posted March 8, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 10, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2022 Have you ever noticed that if you leave laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 10, 2022 Report Share Posted March 10, 2022 Elayne Booster lives! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Dryden Posted March 10, 2022 Report Share Posted March 10, 2022 On 3/8/2022 at 6:20 PM, GA Russell said: Models have such skinny bodies, their heads look big. The high fashion look they're going for is the Pez dispenser. 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GA Russell Posted March 11, 2022 Author Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 You don't have to be in shape to bowl. It's the only sport where you signal for a cocktail waitress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSngry Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Robin Roberts (the sportscaster, I presume? But maybe the pitcher?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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