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Posted (edited)
On 11/01/2022 at 3:52 PM, robertoart said:

Ronnie Scott talking about his home town.

The seagulls fly upside down. 

Because there's nothing worth shitting on. 

Probably not his home town, as Ronnie was a Londoner. More likely a sardonic comment on a small town where he'd played.

Here are others from him on the same theme:

"Last night they nuked Stockton-on-Tees. Did £3.50 worth of damage."

"I played a gig in Tamworth once. They have only one set of traffic lights - at the crossroads in the middle of town. They change once a week - at 1 o'clock on Wednesday. Everyone comes out to watch."

Edited by BillF
Posted
On 11/1/22 at 5:57 AM, BillF said:

Probably not his home town, as Ronnie was a Londoner. More likely a sardonic comment on a small town where he'd played.

Here are others from him on the same theme:

"Last night they nuked Stockton on Tees. Did £3.50 worth of damage."

"I played a gig in Tamworth once. They have only one set of traffic lights - at the crossroads in the middle of town. They change once a week - at 1 o'clock on Wednesday. Everyone comes out to watch."

:lol:

Posted
12 minutes ago, GA Russell said:

After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. 

"No hablo ingles"

¿Te ofreció un pañuelo?

Posted

Here's one my father, who worked in the business side of show business including stints with MGM and Hanna Barbera, loved to tell.

Cecil B. Demille is remembered for his incredible epic films with huge casts of extras and many assistant directors to catch all the action simultaneously.  He would communicate with them via walkie talkie.

So one day on the set, very complicated scene is finally set up and Demille announces that it's time to roll film.

"Ready when you are, C.B.!" come the replies from his assistant directors.

He calls action, and thousands of people are moving/fighting etc.

He calls "cut" and asks his first assistant if he got that.

"Well C.B., the camera wasn't centered the way you wanted it. I'm not sure if we got it."

And he asks the second director, and he reports trouble with the camera mount.

Now he's worried about a completely lost take, but he still has one more assistant he hasn't heard from.

"Ready when you are, C.B.!"

Posted
20 hours ago, JSngry said:

Do they have post offices in Canada, or does all the mail go direct?

Jim, Canada Post is too controversial for me to weigh in on.  I'll pass!

*****

At Microsoft, a minority employee is a guy who has a girlfriend.

Posted
20 minutes ago, Dan Gould said:

I thought the joke worked better if most are hopeless nerds, and then there are the few who can find and keep a girl/boy friend.

Dan and mg, I think everyone including Jim interpreted it that way!

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