Can We All Stop Wishing “Happy Birthday” To The Dead?

[sonnymax]

I understand and fully support people’s desire to honor the life and accomplishments of artists whom they love and admire by noting the day on which they were born. But wishing "Happy Birthday" to someone who is deceased sounds very wrong to my ears. First of all, there’s the obvious: the person is dead, and as such they stopped having “birthdays” once they are no longer living. For the life of me, I can't imagine saying "Happy Birthday, Dad" next April 5th, when in fact my father passed away last May. A birthday and a birthdate are not the same thing.

One can most certainly celebrate the anniversary of a departed person’s birth. Take for example Cab Calloway, who was born December 25, 1907. I could say “Tomorrow would have been Cab Calloway’s 110th birthday", or "Tomorrow is the 110th anniversary of Calloway’s birth”. Not only are these statements more “correct”, I think they also set a more sincere or respectful tone to the message being offered.

Don’t get me wrong. I like the threads that are created on these occasions. It serves as a reminder of an artist’s contributions to the music I love. Like many of you, the thread makes me want to listen to the artist’s recordings, often with a renewed sense of respect and gratitude.

So, what say you, my soulful and swinging brethren?

[BFrank]

I tend to agree with you, but it's pervasive across ALL social media. I've never bothered to bring it up and learned to accept the irony of it all. 

[ghost of miles]

On radio I try to stick to "celebrating the anniversary of the birth of X, born on this day in..." when it comes to tributes to musicians who are no longer living.

[JSngry]

Merry Christmas!

[Aggie87]

I lost my mother earlier this year, and didn't hesitate to wish her a happy birthday on Dec 11th.  For me it is a way to honor her memory and share that it's a special day for those of us she left behind.  I also try to acknowledge my father on his birthday each year, and he's been gone for 26 years.  

I have a number of my parents friends on my FB friend list, and it is a nice way for them to be reminded of that day as well, and it usually results in some comments or memories from them of good times they had together. 

Likewise, for friends I've lost, or parents of friends, etc., it's nice to be reminded of their birthday as well, so I can offer well wishes.  

Do I understand those people are gone, and it's not the same as wishing someone who's living a happy birthday?  Of course.  

 

[sonnymax]

2 hours ago, JSngry said:

Merry Christmas!

[JSngry]

[AllenLowe]

I've actually stipulated in my will that my birthday will be celebrated in perpetuity, and people shall continue to bring me cake and presents.

Edited December 24, 2017 by AllenLowe

[Ken Dryden]

At least your not getting a FB friend request or link request on LinkedIn from someone who has passed away....

 

[Scott Dolan]

I thought I mentioned this before, but it may have been elsewhere. 

Though my standard response is, “it’s probably not too happy for them”. 

But, like Beefy said above, I’ve simply learned to live with the practice. It not a hill worth dying on. 

[BFrank]

3 hours ago, Scott Dolan said:

I thought I mentioned this before, but it may have been elsewhere. 

Though my standard response is, “it’s probably not too happy for them”. 

But, like Beefy said above, I’ve simply learned to live with the practice. It not a hill worth dying on. 

[Gheorghe]

Sometimes, if it´s a musician who means very much to me, I try to post on such "Happy Birthday" threads something from my own view, remembering when I saw her or him live or about special records I like. But never that blunt "Happy Birthday Congratulations" just to gather posts. So it´s okay for me and I will post further if I can say more about that musician .

[Brad]

You try to remember the anniversary of their births but to wish someone Happy Birthday who has been dead for several years is odd, in my opinion.  When I think of my Father, who died in 1976, on his birthday, I sometimes think how old he would be that day or say to myself, "today is Dad's birthday," but to say Happy Birthday would seem peculiar and foreign.  I also remember when he passed away (unexpectedly). 

[Teasing the Korean]

22 hours ago, JSngry said:

Merry Christmas!

And Happy Birthday Jesus! Oh, wait...

On December 24, 2017 at 1:11 PM, sonnymax said:

So, what say you, my soulful and swinging brethren?

I say, Sonny Jim, that you are over-thinking this.   

Ironic that we are discussing this as some of us celebrate the birthday of a guy who was born 2017 years ago.  

Edited December 25, 2017 by Teasing the Korean

[AllenLowe]

 

[Dave Garrett]

[Bill Nelson]

For music DJs in the biz, the dates of birthdays, deaths, and anniversaries are always useful as 'pegs' or themes to fill time, i.e. provide content.

[lope]

I see people wishing celebrities happy birthday its kind of annoying lol they're not going to see it i don't know what the point 

[Kasper]

My late brother-in-law who ironically was my friend before he met my sister died. We were both born on March 31st though on different years. Ever since my sister married him and later when my niece was born, understandably they celebrated his birthday and I celebrated mine separately because we had different interests. There may have been a year or two when we lived closer and we had a celebratory cake or something but that wasn't often it was probably a lot earlier in their relationship. He died about 6 years ago and now my my sister & my niece celebrate his birthday and call it Spanksgiving due to his nickname, and choose that over celebrating my living birthday with me.  We live about 80 miles apart but I always try to make it to visit for my niece's birthday and for my sisters when I can but often she's been out of state visiting other relatives for her birthday when it's near Thanksgiving which is a whole other story.  She would rather travel out of state than 80 miles away to our house.  Regardless I know it's terrible that my brother-in-law died, but I'm still alive - I'm here - I'm alive - can't they celebrate with me? They can celebrate his life any day of the year.  I'm sorry but he died and so he doesn't care if it happens on his birthday, in fact he doesn't care at all now, he died.  I do care and it hurts my feelings.