A Moe and Sam joke

[Larry Kart]

Moe and Sam, both in their 90s, are life-long baseball fans. They're sitting together on a park bench when Moe turns to Sam and says: "Will you promise me something? Promise me that if you die first and go to heaven, you'll come back and tell if there's baseball there." Sam agreed and made Moe promise the same. Three months later, Sam dies, and the next week Moe wakes up in the middle of the night to hear someone calling his name.

"Moe! It's me, Sam!"

"Sam! It's so good to hear you! How's heaven?"

Well, I've got some good news and some bad news."

"Tell me the good news."

"OK, there is baseball in heaven."

"What's the bad news?"

"You're pitching on Friday."

[Matthew]

Reminds me of a story Joe McCarthy, the old Yankee, Red Sox manager use to tell.

One day Satan and St. Peter got into an argument over who had the best baseball team, heaven or hell.

St. Peter said: "It's not even close, I got Ruth, and all those other great players, and you got nothing!"

McCarthy: "That might be true, but I got all the umps!"

Edited March 26, 2014 by Matthew

[Ted O'Reilly]

Reminds me of a story Joe McCarthy, the old Yankee, Red Sox manager use to tell.

One day Satan and St. Peter got into an argument over who had the best baseball team, heaven or hell.

St. Peter said: "It's not even close, I got Ruth, and all those other great players, and you got nothing!"

McCarthy: "That might be true, but I got all the umps!"

Hmmm....You callin' McCarthy Satan???

Of all the joke categories I can think of, Baseball Jokes may be the rarest. There are funny stories (Dizzy Dean, Garagiola, Uecker) but jokes?

Thanks for these, Larry and Matthew.

[Matthew]

Reminds me of a story Joe McCarthy, the old Yankee, Red Sox manager use to tell.

One day Satan and St. Peter got into an argument over who had the best baseball team, heaven or hell.

St. Peter said: "It's not even close, I got Ruth, and all those other great players, and you got nothing!"

McCarthy: "That might be true, but I got all the umps!"

Hmmm....You callin' McCarthy Satan???

Of all the joke categories I can think of, Baseball Jokes may be the rarest. There are funny stories (Dizzy Dean, Garagiola, Uecker) but jokes?

Thanks for these, Larry and Matthew.

OMG! Didn't realize I made McCarthy out to be Satan. Of course, Red Sox fans never forgave him for starting Denny Galehouse in that 1948 playoff game.

[JSngry]

That's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us.

But more Moe & Sam jokes, please, seriously!

[sonnymax]

Not a joke per se, but it is baseball humor. While announcing a game, Curt Gowdy noticed a couple who kissed each other after every pitch, saying "Isn't that cute? He kisses her on the strikes, and she kisses him on the balls."

[JSngry]

Was that Mr. & Mrs. Arnold Palmer?

[Larry Kart]

Only Moe this time:

He's sitting on a park bench, sobbing like a baby. A guy comes up to him and asks, “What’s wrong?”

Moe says, “Even though I'm in my 90s, two weeks ago I married a beautiful woman. She’s a natural blonde, age twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and she's intensely passionate in bed.”

"So what's your problem?"

“I can’t remember where I live!”

[sonnymax]

rimshot

[Neal Pomea]

Curt Gowdy said he took Casey Stengel to a bar and noticed how fast Casey drank. Casey said he always drank fast since his accident. Curt asked, you had an accident? Casey said, yeah one time I accidentally spilled my beer!