What Things Will You Not Like In Your Jazz?

[A Lark Ascending]

Ritualistic clapping of solos (rising from a patter to a roar at the drum solo).

(on the other hand, I love soprano and flute!)

Edited October 16, 2012 by A Lark Ascending

[Tim McG]

No kazoos, banjos or air guitar.

No accordions, either.

Just sayin'.

Edited October 16, 2012 by GoodSpeak

[mikelz777]

-bowed bass

-drum solos

-avant garde

-singing

-scatting

[Larry Kart]

Tunes dedicated to people other than, say, Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, Florence Mills, or Willie "The Lion" Smith, especially those dedicated to "high class" avant-garde literary artists. I do have a soft spot, though, for Manny Albam's "Poor Dr. Millmoss."

[T.D.]

  On 10/16/2012 at 7:49 PM, Larry Kart said:

Tunes dedicated to people other than, say, Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, Florence Mills, or Willie "The Lion" Smith, especially those dedicated to "high class" avant-garde literary artists...."

Agreed (my emphasis added) re. literary artists.

OT (sorry): If I hear another piece of avant-garde or twelve-tone classical music either dedicated to or featuring the poetry of Paul Celan, I swear I'm gonna puke...

[Pete C]

  On 10/16/2012 at 7:49 PM, mikelz777 said:

-bowed bass

-drum solos

-avant garde

No problem with any of the above. But I have a major problem with bowed cymbals, which seems to be a folly of the "avant garde."

[A Lark Ascending]

Tunes with single word titles that allude to physics; seems to be a quick way to add gravitas.

Tunes with single word titles that allude to Eastern religion or philosophy; seems to be a quick way to add spirituality.

Tunes (or album titles) with apostrophes.

Edited October 16, 2012 by A Lark Ascending

[Indestructible!]

  On 10/16/2012 at 7:49 PM, Larry Kart said:

Tunes dedicated to people other than, say, Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, Florence Mills, or Willie "The Lion" Smith

You're gonna hate the new organissimo CD then!

Edited October 16, 2012 by Indestructible!

[.:.impossible]

Melody

Harmony

Rhythm

Song Titles

[A Lark Ascending]

scowls

[JSngry]

People with glasses too big for their head, unless the way they play changes the way you look at their head. But only unless.

Subjective, I know, but many things are!

[BruceH]

Not ALL the time, but pretty often:

Bass solos

Some of the time:

Drum solos

Occasionally:

Solos.

[paul secor]

Musicians who don't have a clue what they sound like, so they end up sounding like someone else.

[BeBop]

Conch Shells

Anyone playing two, three or more horns at once that is not (Rahsaan) Roland Kirk

Excessive "quoting". Dex and Wardell in 1947 was one thing, but now...

[Jim R]

Album Covers That Make You Say "Uhhhh...."

[A Lark Ascending]

In most cases, strings and orchestras. They are nearly always arranged like Tchaikovsky when jazz is better arranged like Stravinsky or Bartok.

[johnlitweiler]

Keep Jazz Alive.

The attitude that "Jazz is good for you" (so sit still and listen to my Ellington-like noises, peasants). A lot of this POV comes down to us from Albert Murray and his fellow Olympians.

[A Lark Ascending]

Jazz that sets out to be relevant to young people today (as opposed to jazz that set out to be good and tries to engage young people today).

  On 10/16/2012 at 9:19 PM, johnlitweiler said:

The attitude that "Jazz is good for you"

Jazz cannot possibly be good for you.

1. It bankrupts you.

2. It ensures you spend long periods in a sedentary position instead of taking exercise.

3. It leads you to spend far to much time in rooms (or chat rooms) filled with other men.

[JSngry]

Male MCs who think that it's ok to do a Rick Holmes thing in 2012 for a crowd that doesn't know who Rick Holmes is and think it's cool what this guy is doing.

[Pete C]

Who is Rick Holmes?

  On 10/16/2012 at 8:49 PM, paul secor said:

Musicians who don't have a clue what they sound like, so they end up sounding like someone else.

That's what they sound like.

[BeBop]

Not really "in" my jazz, but I really hate talking to people about jazz - people who consider themselves "experts" - who have ZERO understanding of jazz history say further back than John Coltrane or Diana Krall's first album.

[David Ayers]

Guitar. Forgot to mention guitar. Like most instruments, cool to play but nothing to be gained by hearing it.

[alocispepraluger102]

tributes to..................

and anything the masses like.

Edited October 16, 2012 by alocispepraluger102

[Joe]

Herman Munster and Moe Howard haircuts.

[Shawn]

  On 10/16/2012 at 10:19 PM, David Ayers said:

Guitar. Forgot to mention guitar. Like most instruments, cool to play but nothing to be gained by hearing it.

I'd go the opposite direction, I like when guitar replaces piano entirely. Creates a unique sound that helps set it apart from most groups.