My Dad

[Pete C]

One time she fell in the bathroom and laid there all night until her sister found her the next day.

She needs a medical alert device and plan. My mother has one, and before she had full time aides she was rescued at least three times after falls--the company gets the notification and they send out local emergency services. There are a number of providers. I think my mother might have this one:

http://www1.lifestation.com/

[Tim McG]

Both of my parents are gone [my Mom died almost 22 years ago; Dad last year] so I can't really add anything to what has already been said, Jeff.

But I will say this: My Dad was a stubborn old cuss and refused to go into any sort of facility. Though he was 89 when he passed, it hastened his death. You are doing the right thing.

Edited March 8, 2012 by GoodSpeak

[tranemonk]

Yea my sister got her one after the last fall. It sucks that we all have this problem and there's no easy fixes.

One time she fell in the bathroom and laid there all night until her sister found her the next day.

She needs a medical alert device and plan. My mother has one, and before she had full time aides she was rescued at least three times after falls--the company gets the notification and they send out local emergency services. There are a number of providers. I think my mother might have this one:

http://www1.lifestation.com/

[jeffcrom]

I've been meaning to post an update here. My dad has lived in his apartment in an assisted living facility for six weeks now, and is thriving. As I hoped, he is happier than he was when living alone, and is more with it mentally. He hangs out with other folks, plays games, etc. After a bingo game last week, he said, "Bingo is a pretty stupid game, but it's nice to be with other people." Which is the point of playing games at any age.

And he's gained enough weight that we have to get him some new clothes. That's a good thing - he was not eating enough on his own, despite our cooking for him, taking him to dinner, and nagging. He likes his new home, and we're really relieved.

Thanks to all for your encouraging words.

[Pete C]

Great news. I wish I could have convinced my mother to move into an assisted living facility; I suspect it might have helped to slow down her precipitous mental decline. Now she's at home with round the clock babysitters, sleeping a lot and being confused when she's awake.

[jazzbo]

Fantastic news Jeff!

[paul secor]

Jeff,

I don't know how I missed this thread when you started it. I'm happy that your father is adjusting to his new environment and that you're feeling better about it all. I'll try to remember, but if I don't, when my birthday comes around on the Board, remind me that it's your dad's birthday too.

I went through a somewhat through a somewhat similar situation with my mother several years ago. She had physical problems which finally wouldn't allow her to live alone in her home - my father had passed away 30+ years earlier. My sister, my wife, and I found a good assisted living facility for her to move to but, long story short, she was miserable there. She didn't want to socialize and she didn't want to do anything that would help her physical situation. I saw her almost every day but, in the end, I became frustrated by her lack of wanting to do anything for herself. She passed away shortly before she would have had to go to a nursing home, which would have destroyed her in every respect.

This is one of the most difficult things that parents and children have to go through. I'm glad that you, your sister, and especially your father seem to be handling it well.

[Big Al]

This is great news, Jeff, and I am very happy for you. My parents are 71 and 68, and I can't help but hope that I'll respond to the situation with the graceful yet forceful gentleness that you showed.

[Dan Gould]

Glad to hear your Dad is doing so much better, only wish it were the same for mine. I won't bore you with details but I hope everybody who has an elderly but still functional parent enjoys and appreciates whatever time they have with them.

[7/4]

Spend time with them now, because they'll be gone in a flash. My Dad passed away five weeks ago and I'm glad I could be there in the final weeks he was alive.

[papsrus]

Glad to hear things are working out Jeff.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Good news, Jeff. Thanks for the update.

MG

[Tim McG]

Very cool, Jeff.

[rostasi]

Hey Jeff! How's your dad dealing with his new home

now that he's been there about 6 months?

[jeffcrom]

Hey Jeff! How's your dad dealing with his new home

now that he's been there about 6 months?

Thanks for asking!

Overall, pretty well. He likes most aspects of living there. He eats better than he did on his on and he's reading again - he had pretty much stopped reading books about a year and a half ago. One member of the family or another visits him almost every day. He still has days when he doesn't feel well; I was there last night and he was pretty tired, but said, "I'll be okay tomorrow." His short-term memory is still pretty poor, in spite of some therapy with a memory coach. But overall, he's doing well, considering his 85 years.

The assisted living facility where he's living is pretty good, but the service in the dining room has gotten worse. The food is pretty good, but I can't tell that there's any system that the wait staff is following, so people don't always get what they want, or have to wait 45 minutes for their food. I think it's time for a letter to the director - the residents are paying too much to put up with the lousy service they're getting. But that's the only aspect of the place I don't like.

[Tim McG]

You're a good Son, Jeff.

Kudos.

[Kevin Bresnahan]

Good to hear your Dad's doing well. I miss my Dad. He's been gone 6 years now and I still find myself thinking "I've got to call Dad and let him know"... then I remember he's gone.

[Big Al]

Yes, VERY good news to hear, Jeff. I hope you're able to get the dining room situation resolved quickly.

[AllenLowe]

they got any vacancies?

[papsrus]

they got any vacancies?

Actually, living in the heart of the retirement universe, as I do, I think the vacancy rate for at least some retirement homes is relatively high because older folks who otherwise would move into these facilities, particularly at the mid- to high-end, are finding it difficult to sell their homes.

Perhaps that tide is starting to turn.