Leave of absence

[Shawn]

I need to take a break for awhile, I don't feel I have the energy or the positive attitude required to share anything of value to this community.

I'm not leaving for good, but after 8 years on this board a couple more before that on the old BNBB, I think I've said everything about jazz that I have to say.

In the past several years I've had to sell off my entire jazz collection anyway (I'm down to less than 20 physical CDs), the ones I have left not really being worth anything financial, so they just sit in a box until I decide to throw them out. The depression over that act makes this place even more painful to visit, to constantly read about discs I "used" to have and new reissues that I'll never be able to afford.

It's just too depressing to "pretend" that I still belong here right now. To constantly be reminded about ALL THE COOL SHIT people just bought.

So, I'm off for awhile. Not sure what the future will bring, I have a little over 60 days before I'm homeless, so that needs to be my main focus right now.

I can still be reached on facebook or via email: shawndudley@yahoo.com

Thanks for the friendship and camaraderie, I just wish I had something to repay in kind.

[GA Russell]

Shawn, you're not alone here with your problems. Just remember the old French saying, "A money wound is not fatal."

I can say from experience that bad times are not the time to withdraw from your friends. Everyone needs the support of friends who don't care about your bank account.

As long as you can go to a library and get onto the internet for an hour, you can listen to streamed jazz, and then post about your thoughts of what you heard. The fact that you didn't pay for it is of no concern to us. We are interested in your thoughts, not your tangible assets.

[Bright Moments]

Hey Shawn -

Please let me try to change your mind. I always enjoy seeing your posts - particularly in the "what are you listening to now" thread. They have sent me to my collection to listen to the same thing many times.

Our on-line community can give you a respite, however brief, from the stresses of life. Post an album cover every now and then!

I hope that you are able to find a solution to your money woes - but most of all i hope that you find peace within yourself.

Evan

[mikeweil]

Jeez - I sure would miss you, and I'm convinced I'm not alobne with that feeling. I had times like these, too, with very little money to spend on discs, it's not that much better now, but I decided there is always something worth reading on the board to make me stick around.

Reading that you'll be homeless soon scares the sh... out of me - any perspectives? My best wishes, under any circumstances.

Edited June 7, 2011 by mikeweil

[Noj]

Damn Shawn, I hope things turn around for you. You've always been a great contributor here.

[Free For All]

Shawn,

The shared love of music is what brought us here. The friendships are what sustain us. I found a lot of comfort here when I went through the process of my divorce back in '06. I haven't met most of the folks here, but I consider many of them to be close friends.

I for one hope you stick around- I always enjoy reading your posts and value your opinions, and consider you to be a friend. Of course you've gotta do what you gotta do- I respect that and I hope that you can find what you need to be happy, and that you come by to say hi when possible. We'll be here.

Best of luck to you, Shawn!

[Hot Ptah]

Shawn, I am sorry to read about your personal situation, and hope that you can find a solution. I also hope that despite your post today, that you feel comfortable coming back any time, including soon, to post again. I stopped posting here for a while once, but found it was "in my blood", and that I felt like doing it again after a time. I am sure that no one would find it odd if you suddenly just started posting again despite your announcement, and that they would only be welcoming.

[clifford_thornton]

As someone who has struggled with at times crippling depression, Shawn, I can relate. This community has definitely helped me as well (in addition to therapy, medication, exercise, and good real-time friends). Sometimes when I am down, the last thing I want to do is listen to music. But this board is so welcoming that sometimes it seems like I don't have to have a musical synapse firing just to relax and banter. So if you need to split for awhile, it's understood, but I do encourage you to pipe in whenever you feel like it. Your contributions would be missed, even if they're one liners.

[John L]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, Shawn. I have always enjoyed reading your contributions to the forum. As you can see from all the warm responses, you are always welcome here.

[RDK]

Ditto the above. Hope things work out for you and that you aren't gone long. Just remember that you have friends here, regardless of how many discs you might have or even how much you'd care to talk about jazz right now.

[A Lark Ascending]

All the best, Shawn. Hope things work out for you soon.

I've always enjoyed your rounded approach to music and will miss seeing those 70s rock albums that are part of my past appear in your posts.

[jmjk]

Shawn, I'm sorry to read about your leaving, especially since it seems to be about more than running out of things to say about jazz. I know you'll find it within yourself to work things out.

Check in when you can, and if you need burns of Opeth, Porc Tree or any other Prog Metal that you and I love, shoot me a PM. I'd be happy to oblige.

Jeff

[David Ayers]

Shawn - sorry to hear this - be well.

[Big Beat Steve]

Good luck Shawn, and do stick around anyway. I hope things will work out for you.

[Chicago Expat]

Hey, Shawn.

There have been two times in my life that I've had to sell off my entire cd collection (over 2,000 the first time, over 500 the second). It might not be for the same reasons you are, but I know exactly how this particular kind of loss feels. For whatever it's worth, these cds and lps, they're all retrievable in one form or the other. Nothing is really lost. And eventually you'll rebuild. You'll repurchase those albums that truly mean a lot to you, either because of the musicianship or the nostalgia (or both). Me, I've been focusing on buying new music that I've never owned before. I feel like my collection is streamlined, in a sense.

Also, people above are right when they say use the library. I was amazed by how many cds were available, either at that location or through inter-library loans.

And here's a link to another site I participate on (emusers.org). It began as an offshoot of the emusic forums, but most of us have left emusic and now it's just an eclectic group of music fans. I began a thread on there that focuses on jazz that can be found on the Bandcamp site. Many of the albums are NYOP (Name Your Own Price) or just outright free, and all of them can be streamed. It might be a nice opportunity to discover some new music without the budget being an obstacle...

Emusers link

Good luck and best wishes. I know we don't know each other, but the life arc of selling off all the music with homelessness on the horizon is something I can relate to.

[Tim McG]

You'll be back and on your game before you know it, Shawn.

I've been where you are now, too.

It may go hard for a while, but keep on keeping on and you will prevail.

[Face of the Bass]

I think one of this site's biggest problems is that too much attention/focus is put on this consumerist ideal that you have to have all the cool box sets and reissues. The cheerleading for that kind of stuff, especially in some threads, can make it seem like one is an "outsider" if one does not conform to the model of raw accumulation of sets. But that is not the way this board should be.

[sidewinder]

You'll be back and on your game before you know it, Shawn.

I've been where you are now, too.

It may go hard for a while, but keep on keeping on and you will prevail.

Good words. Hang on in there Shawn !

[JSngry]

Having nothing to say is no excuse for not saying it anyway!

[ghost of miles]

Hope you'll stick around, Shawn--your presence is appreciated by many here. If you don't feel inclined, you don't feel inclined, but at least know that you'll get a warm welcome whenever you return. Well, not that kind of "warm welcome"... you know what I mean.

[Quincy]

I owe you a big thanks for steering me towards Porcupine Tree and other music. I get what you're saying about the material stuff, and sometimes it's good to step away from boards for awhile. But I hope you know that the person we know from your posts is greatly appreciated around here. All the best.

[alocispepraluger102]

shawn, you are an important cog of organissimo.

i eagerly await your "what are you listening to now ",selections. i've learned much about music from them.

i've been down to my last nickel with NO food in the pantry more times than i care to remember, and with bigger problems than meager finances.

one of the episodes involved 2 eating cans of sauerkraut, all i had left, on an empty belly.

.......going to a friend's house and stuffing my pockets with biscuits and other goodies.......................

times are much more difficult to survive now than they were when i was struggling.

i would much rather discuss life and music any day with a real person than anything the finest scholar has to postulate about jazz or music.

music is about living, and right now you are doing some powerful improvising.

be well, my friend.

i don't really belong here either; i feel like an uneducated clod in this crowd.

[Guy Berger]

Shawn, hang in there.

[mjzee]

Hope you're not away long, Shawn. The music'll pull you back.

[.:.impossible]

music is about living and right now you are doing some powerful improvising.

that right there aloc is potent.

Shawn, I enjoy reading you here and Facebook and have picked up on your situation through comments. I know you will make it. I know you can.

We are here.