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Charlie Sheen quotes set to New Yorker cartoons

EyeSpeech
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EyeSpeech Newbie

EyeSpeech

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PS: I've never seen Two and A Half Men. Not one episode, not 2-minutes, not even 10-seconds. CBS doesn't get watched much in our house, so I don't even think I've seen any promos for it (though my wife probably has, if/when college hoops is on CBS).

Me neither. Looks like complete kaka.

Dan Gould Mentor

Dan Gould

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Most of these aren't amusing as when you turn his quotes into poetry.

So just shut your traps

And put down your McDonald’s,

Your magazines,

Your TMZ

And the rest of it,

And focus

On something that matters.

But you can’t focus

On things that matter

If all you’ve been is asleep

For forty years.

Funny how sleep

Rhymes with sheep.

I just don’t do it.

I will not believe that if I do something

Then I have to follow a certain path

Because it was written

For normal people.

People who aren’t special.

People who don’t have tiger blood

And Adonis DNA.

Let me say this about the Goddesses,

I don't think the term is good enough,

But when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions,

You must use the best term available.

So if you think about it, dude,

I'm 0-for-3 in marriage,

But like in baseball,

The scoreboard doesn't lie.

Never has.

So what we all have

Is a marriage of the hearts.

And to sully, contaminate,

Or radically disrespect this unit

With a shameful contract

Is something I'll leave to the amateurs

And Bible grippers.

More here.

medjuck Proficient

medjuck

Posted
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The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

But it's sad to see someone who's obviously crazy (literally-- not metaphorically) having a breakdown in public. He reminds me of James Mason in Ray's Bigger Than Life when he's having delusions of grandeur.

JETman Newbie

JETman

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The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

PS: I've never seen Two and A Half Men. Not one episode, not 2-minutes, not even 10-seconds. CBS doesn't get watched much in our house, so I don't even think I've seen any promos for it (though my wife probably has, if/when college hoops is on CBS).

Me neither. Looks like complete kaka.

Funny show. Basically Charlie Sheen's life story.

EyeSpeech Newbie

EyeSpeech

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The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

Yep, maybe Martin Sheen is ok now--I dunno. But for a long time he wasn't and I'm sure even if he's clean at the moment he battles addiction and impulses every day.

medjuck Proficient

medjuck

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The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

PS: I've never seen Two and A Half Men. Not one episode, not 2-minutes, not even 10-seconds. CBS doesn't get watched much in our house, so I don't even think I've seen any promos for it (though my wife probably has, if/when college hoops is on CBS).

Me neither. Looks like complete kaka.

Funny show. Basically Charlie Sheen's life story.

Apocalypse Now! Why because Martin Sheen had a heart attack during the shooting? From what I know about that film (and I know quite a lot) Sheen was one of the more sane people involved. Coppola was having his own delusions of grandeur on that shoot. When Sheen had the heart attack Coppola infamously said (on camera) "He's not dead until I say he's dead!" (Or something like that-- I don't have "Hearts of Darkness" with me right now.)

JETman Newbie

JETman

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Posted

The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

PS: I've never seen Two and A Half Men. Not one episode, not 2-minutes, not even 10-seconds. CBS doesn't get watched much in our house, so I don't even think I've seen any promos for it (though my wife probably has, if/when college hoops is on CBS).

Me neither. Looks like complete kaka.

Funny show. Basically Charlie Sheen's life story.

Apocalypse Now! Why because Martin Sheen had a heart attack during the shooting? From what I know about that film (and I know quite a lot) Sheen was one of the more sane people involved. Coppola was having his own delusions of grandeur on that shoot. When Sheen had the heart attack Coppola infamously said (on camera) "He's not dead until I say he's dead!" (Or something like that-- I don't have "Hearts of Darkness" with me right now.)

Martin was a drugged up alcoholic during that shoot. Don't you think that is what may have led to his heart attack at such a young age?

Anyway, it was reported that he had MANY way-outbursts during filming. Maybe enough to make Brando seem sane.

He was very f'd up. If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now: Parents screw up kids.

clifford_thornton Veteran

clifford_thornton

Posted
Posted

The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

Yep, maybe Martin Sheen is ok now--I dunno. But for a long time he wasn't and I'm sure even if he's clean at the moment he battles addiction and impulses every day.

Whether or not the Sheens are "decent people" is beside my point, but you speak rather pejoratively about people who have and still do battle addiction. It's a disease.

JETman Newbie

JETman

Posted
Posted

The apple didn't fall too far from the tree here.

Bull shit.

Really? I think you'd get a different take from the director of Apocalypse Now.

Yep, maybe Martin Sheen is ok now--I dunno. But for a long time he wasn't and I'm sure even if he's clean at the moment he battles addiction and impulses every day.

Whether or not the Sheens are "decent people" is beside my point, but you speak rather pejoratively about people who have and still do battle addiction. It's a disease.

Agreed. But it's a disease emulated in this case because Chuckie wasn't reined in as an obnoxious teenager.

EyeSpeech Newbie

EyeSpeech

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It is a disease, but I have seen people with nothing pull themselves up by their bootstraps and face each day with grit and determination to get healthy. "Decent people" is beside the issue. Charlie Sheen has all the resources and people who care about him--a support structure under and around him that would be the envy of any struggling addict. I don't know why anyone would want to waste their emotional energy feeling sorry for him.

Tom 1960 Contributor

Tom 1960

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I just don't get all this media attention he's getting. People literally falling over themselves to get an interview with him. Shameful. How are these people going to feel if he kills himself? The man is obviously sick and needs serious help. The media is NOT helping him! Just my 2 cents, YMMV.

Son-of-a-Weizen Apprentice

Son-of-a-Weizen

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I just don't get all this media attention he's getting. People literally falling over themselves to get an interview with him. Shameful. How are these people going to feel if he kills himself? The man is obviously sick and needs serious help. The media is NOT helping him! Just my 2 cents, YMMV.

I agree.....it's appalling. Bad enough that the networks are in on the act....but the celebrity gossip sites are horrible beyond description.

BERIGAN Newbie

BERIGAN

Posted
Posted

All he needs is a good woman to take care of him.

two-half-men91.jpg

Heh, inside joke! ;) I had a brief, but torrid fling with the show when I was really desperate for something(anything) to watch while riding my stationary bike...DVR'ing the two shows they ran in syndication fit the bill. Actually, I think it's safe to say the cast around him is better than he is....most anyone could play Charlie, strangely enough.

Perhaps they can bring back April Bowlby, in his place! :excited:

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