DTMX Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 It's the 4th CD down. It's not safe for work. It will probably sell more copies than Andrew Hill's entire catalog combined. I apologize in advance. http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1862&p=3 Quote
7/4 Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 What's up with the silhouette on the right top? Is that really a "horn" he's playing?? Quote
DTMX Posted December 19, 2003 Author Report Posted December 19, 2003 Apparently this guy has a strong opinion on Mr. G's music - and that of many others. http://www.loserasshole.com/music/ With a website name like that - how can you go wrong? Quote
chris olivarez Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 Somebody asked me the other day if I had a Kenny G Christmas album and my reply was "No Thank God!" talk about a lump of coal in your stocking-actually more like a lump of shit-yuk!!! Quote
SGUD missile Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 I'm SO glad this was a gag! I almost puked in my document shredder next to the computer! geat site though .. I love the silhouette a lot ..but I think he retouched the length of his schlong before beginning the auto fellating ... Quote
Jim Alfredson Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 Apparently this guy has a strong opinion on Mr. G's music - and that of many others. http://www.loserasshole.com/music/ With a website name like that - how can you go wrong? Criminey, this is funny: Dave Matthews and Band Guess what Dave, it's been done before, and done better, it was called Joni Mitchell. Just because you hang out with musicians, it doesn't make you one. Your band hates you, and they only play with you because they're sellout whores who are choosing between you and $5 a night gigs in the East Village. (see Sting) Where's the banging-head-on-table-laughing-so-hard smiley? Quote
Jim Alfredson Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 HAH! I finally got to the Kenny G quote: Kenny G If you think this man can play the saxaphone, you probably think Michael Bolton has a penis. Kenny G is the lamest friggin flat wind sack ever. AND, he certainly didn't set any world records with his pussy-ass 45 minute long tone. Rahsaan Roland Kirk played a 2 and a half hour long tone on tenor saxaphone, but nobody cares because he didn't have a big gay haircut and play fairy-fucker pentatonic parrot food. Quote
jacman Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 f*ck me in the heart....that is the funniest thing i've read in a long time. Quote
7/4 Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 f*ck me in the heart....that is the funniest thing i've read in a long time. Sure, but it's an easy target! Quote
Jim Alfredson Posted December 19, 2003 Report Posted December 19, 2003 ...fairy-fucker pentatonic parrot food... Man, that's more funny every time I read it! What an apt description. And what poetry! Quote
Uncle Skid Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Upright Bill passed this along a few days ago.... and I'm still laughing!!: "Kenny G released his Christmas album this week. Happy birthday, Jesus ... hope you like crap!" -- Norm MacDonald Quote
patricia Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 (edited) After reading the news of Kenny G's attempt at destroying the small amount of Christmas Spirit I had managed to muster, I felt that strong measures were required, to stop the inexplicable ringing in my ears. So, I poured myself a glass of good red wine [cork, not screw-top], quickly perused my meagre Christmas library of music and selected these as an antidote: In The Christmas Mood - The Glenn Miller Orchestra Christmas Cookin' - Jimmy Smith The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole [old, hackneyed, but I was desparate, OK?] Christmas With Mahalia - Mahalia Jackson and In The Nutcracker Mood - Glenn Miller Orchestra Please, I beg of you. Mention not the name of Kenny G, ever again, especially when my grip on Christmassy joyousness is tenuous. Thank you and Merry Christmas All!! Edited December 20, 2003 by patricia Quote
Jazzmoose Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Earlier this year at the gates of heaven, as Barry White realizes his mistake... "What the fuck? You won't let me in just because I hired that Gorelick fucker??" Quote
Jazzmoose Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Jim, I was embarrassed because I had no idea who Jeff Lorber was. After a little surfing and checking, the embarrassment faded... Quote
couw Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Jim, I was embarrassed because I had no idea who Jeff Lorber was. After a little surfing and checking, the embarrassment faded... what did the Lorber dude do to deserve a hard time at the pearly gates? Inquisitive minds want to know! (rather lazy than inquisitive, but the latter sounds much better don't it?) Minds who are quite fearful for what they may find at that. Quote
couw Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 (edited) and to save you people the witty remark: yes couw has (at least) TWO minds! and he's right out of both! Edited December 20, 2003 by couw Quote
Kari S Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 what did the Lorber dude do to deserve a hard time at the pearly gates? Some quotes from his website biography: "He simply drew from artists he admired - from Herbie Hancock, Tower of Power, Miles Davis, to The Paul Butterfield Blues Band - combined those influences, simmered slowly and somehow discovered a sound that has withstood the test of time." "My group, Grover Washington, Jr. and Spyro Gyra crafted more of a synthesis of jazz, R&B and latin rhythms where melody was as, if not more, important than wailing solos and hardcore chops." Quote
7/4 Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Jim, I was embarrassed because I had no idea who Jeff Lorber was. After a little surfing and checking, the embarrassment faded... what did the Lorber dude do to deserve a hard time at the pearly gates? Inquisitive minds want to know! (rather lazy than inquisitive, but the latter sounds much better don't it?) Minds who are quite fearful for what they may find at that. He hired the fairy-fucker pentatonic parrot food horn blower. Quote
couw Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 He hired the fairy-fucker pentatonic parrot food horn blower. okay, that's verrrrrrryyy naughty!!! how many years in the bowels of hell for that? Quote
7/4 Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 He hired the fairy-fucker pentatonic parrot food horn blower. okay, that's verrrrrrryyy naughty!!! how many years in the bowels of hell for that? Eternity! Quote
JSngry Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Yeah, Lorber was one of the guys who lived on the border between "fusion" and "smooth jazz", might even be considered a "transitional figure" between the two. Some of his stuff was pretty nice, some wasn't. But he DID have this saxophone player for a while named Kenny Gorelick, a player who actually showed a little spunk once in a while. To skip about 3 or 4 levels of reasoning, it just goes to show you that we all have choices to make along the way, so choose wisely. Quote
7/4 Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 Yeah, Lorber was one of the guys who lived on the border between "fusion" and "smooth jazz", might even be considered a "transitional figure" between the two. Only by calling his music fusion and giving it a bad name! I used to call it happy jazz, but that never caught on... Quote
chris olivarez Posted December 20, 2003 Report Posted December 20, 2003 I would like to be watching TV one night and tune in on Larry King asking Kenny G "So Kenny what's it's like being a fairy fucker pentatonic parrot food horn blower?". The image of Ethel Merman being Axl Rose is very amusing. Quote
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