Hey, I am a dumbass ...

[Eric]

Found a nice used copy of a Gary Bartz lp (although the name presently escapes me) over the weekend. Anyway, I notice that while the vinyl is an excellent shape, the bottom seam is pretty well split. Well, whatever, it was only $6.

So, I get it home and pull out the clear Scotch packing tape to go about fixing that split seam. Got it finished and then went to pull out the vinyl and and discovered ...

I had just taped closed a gatefold lp

After my 5 year old daughter asked me "why did you say dammit, Dad?", I found a carpet knife and reversed the problem.

Surely, I am not the only idiot out here ....

Eric

[rockefeller center]

Nice! Here's the negative to your story: I took a knife to open my Windows XP package. It took me a while until I got the disc out. Later I realized that this thing WAS a gatefold.

[Spontooneous]

I'm remembering an experiment of my teen years. It involved cleaning LPs with rubbing alcohol.

Gives the LP surface a lovely gray finish.

[undergroundagent]

LOL! Sorry man, but that's a f--king riot!

[David Ayers]

Slightly OT, but I had a double CD which I could not open at all. I had to break the case open with my hands and in doing so damaged the insert but saved the CDs.

When I looked I saw that the front part of the case lacked one of the small knobs which hinges the front cover. Without the hinge the front of the case would have just fallen off. So somebody had used GLUE along the bottom edge of the cover. That glue would not give and I had to splinter the whole case to get in.

Now this was a new CD and shrinkwrapped. That is my nuttiest music packaging experience.

On LP sleeves, the first time I glued an LP sleeve where the glue had dried out I didn't understand the physics of glue too well, and I put the record in its inner sleeve straight back in there. The glue fogged the vinyl and created an audible defect.

If I think of any more boring stories I'll post them.

Actually the really dumb thing to do is to lend people records. That makes for way more trouble than you can ever inflict on yourself.

Oh yeah and I once cleaned an LP with washing up liquid. I was young...

[JSngry]

Ca. 1978, I found a store in Ft. Worht that had 3 copies of Ray Charles' "Greenbacks" b/w "Blackjack" on mint Atlantic 78s.

In the space of a month, I had bought and broken all three.

The remnant of the last one hangs over the inside of my clsoet door, as a kind of Bizarro horseshoe.

But DAMN, that "Greenbacks" is a good cut.

[Sundog]

I'm remembering an experiment of my teen years. It involved cleaning LPs with rubbing alcohol.

Gives the LP surface a lovely gray finish.

I remember an experiment with vinyl myself, this one had nothing to do with cleaning, and everything to do with seeing how far a 12" slab of vinyl could be thrown. If memory serves, I'd say about 80 yards. Talk about your dumbasses!

[mikeweil]

In the space of a month, I had bought and broken all three.

Now how in all the world did you do THAT?!?

BTW, congrats to new status!!! Very appropriate for a new year in your life.

Edited December 16, 2003 by mikeweil

[mikeweil]

A former roommate told me a story how he and his brother tried to repair a broken pickup with some special glue. After reading the passage in the instructions that the glue hardened faster and better when exposed to higher temperatures they turned on the oven and placed the pickup inside. Now imagine the looks on their faces when they saw that piece of molten plastic after half an hour ....

[mikeweil]

It was some very expensive model, of course, and their second attempt .....

[mikeweil]

I remember when I used my parent's old mono record player in the beginning and explored the way a pickup stylus worked by placing a pin into the groove while the turntable was running and holding my ear very close to it .... In retrospect I'm amazed how much a vinyl record can endure ...

Edited December 16, 2003 by mikeweil

[Alexander]

But DAMN, that "Greenbacks" is a good cut.

"Just a little piece o' paper coated with clorophyll..."

[Chuck Nessa]

Yup, you all dumb.

[Big Al]

I'm remembering an experiment of my teen years. It involved cleaning LPs with rubbing alcohol.

Gives the LP surface a lovely gray finish.

I am SO glad I'm not the only one who was dumb enough to do that at one time (wait a second: I wasn't the one who showed you this, was I?) -_-

[Big Al]

Actually the really dumb thing to do is to lend people records. That makes for way more trouble than you can ever inflict on yourself.

I loaned my parents' copy of Simon & Garfunkel's BOOKENDS to a friend. When I got it back, I noticed that the inner sleeve was missing. When I asked him about it, he said, "Oh yeah, sorry 'bout that; I spilled bong water on it."

Oh well, at least the record wasn't IN the sleeve when it got spilled on!

[Peter Johnson]

I remember when I used my parent's old mono record player in the beginning and explored the way a pickup stylus worked by placing a pin into the groove while the turntable was running and holding my ear very close to it

Hysterical--I did the same thing, only it was on my mono turntable. The stylus (after heavy use) broke off, and being a young whippersnapper, I must have read some article about how records/styli work. So I got a needle, made a cone of paper, stuck the needle through the cone, and taped the whole assembly onto the record arm. It worked! Only problem is, I used this apparatus to play my dad's Ballet Mechanique b/w Roy Schuman symphony record! Man, I still remember that "experience!"

[doubleM]

I once received a Priority mail envelope with 2 Blakey records in it. I used a letter opener to open it and in the process cut a new opening into one of the lps. Instant gatefold!

[JSngry]

In the space of a month, I had bought and broken all three.

Now how in all the world did you do THAT?!?

BTW, congrats to new status!!! Very appropriate for a new year in your life.

I just noticed!

The first one got broke on the way home, if you can believe that. I had to slam on the brakes, and it went flying off the seat and into the dash of the car, a not particularly well-padded 1976 Plymouth Duster. Not a major break, but it too a chunk out of it and rendered it unplayable.

The second one, somebody sat on. My bad for leaving it out where they could do so, but jeez, people, the human ass is a WMD if used improperly. Proceed accordingly!

The third one, was in a sack of sides I was carrying over to a party, and the bag got jostled and fell to the ground. Guess what the only item was that landed JUST "right"?

I was really pissed - I had the cut already on an old Atlantic LP, and now have it on CD, of course, but THIS WAS AN ORIGINAL 78!!! THE WAY GOD MEANT FOR IT TO BE HEARD IN IT'S TIME!!! IT SOUNDED IN-FUCKING-CREDIBLE!!!! At 3 bucks a pop, a small price to play for a slice of heaven, even if only for a few days, as it turned out...

But hey, life goes on, right? And Fathead's bari solo STILL goes to the desert island if and when I do.

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

Once upon a time, someone mentioned an interesting technique for eliminating a slight LP warp. It involved sandwiching the vinyl between some heavy duty glass and leaving it in the sun for a very short period. He was quick to caution that he'd never actually tried it himself. If only I'd walked away from the tube and bagged watching the end of the 7th inning, that LP might still be alive.

[jacman]

"PULL"!!!

Edited December 16, 2003 by jacman

[mikeweil]

The first one got broke on the way home, if you can believe that. I had to slam on the brakes, and it went flying off the seat and into the dash of the car, a not particularly well-padded 1976 Plymouth Duster. Not a major break, but it too a chunk out of it and rendered it unplayable.

The second one, somebody sat on. My bad for leaving it out where they could do so, but jeez, people, the human ass is a WMD if used improperly. Proceed accordingly!

The third one, was in a sack of sides I was carrying over to a party, and the bag got jostled and fell to the ground. Guess what the only item was that landed JUST "right"?

I was really pissed - I had the cut already on an old Atlantic LP, and now have it on CD, of course, but THIS WAS AN ORIGINAL 78!!! THE WAY GOD MEANT FOR IT TO BE HEARD IN IT'S TIME!!! IT SOUNDED IN-FUCKING-CREDIBLE!!!! At 3 bucks a pop, a small price to play for a slice of heaven, even if only for a few days, as it turned out...

But hey, life goes on, right? And Fathead's bari solo STILL goes to the desert island if and when I do.

Talk about karma!

[mikeweil]

Once upon a time, someone mentioned an interesting technique for eliminating a slight LP warp. It involved sandwiching the vinyl between some heavy duty glass and leaving it in the sun for a very short period. He was quick to caution that he'd never actually tried it himself. If only I'd walked away from the tube and bagged watching the end of the 7th inning, that LP might still be alive.

I tried that method on a heavily warped copy, I had nothing to loose, and I did! Nothing substantial, musically, at least.

[mikeweil]

I remember when I used my parent's old mono record player in the beginning and explored the way a pickup stylus worked by placing a pin into the groove while the turntable was running and holding my ear very close to it

Hysterical--I did the same thing, only it was on my mono turntable. The stylus (after heavy use) broke off, and being a young whippersnapper, I must have read some article about how records/styli work. So I got a needle, made a cone of paper, stuck the needle through the cone, and taped the whole assembly onto the record arm. It worked! Only problem is, I used this apparatus to play my dad's Ballet Mechanique b/w Roy Schuman symphony record! Man, I still remember that "experience!"

Must have sounded unforgettably weird! I elaborated on that method when I had my own primitive mono player - a used machine of my brother's wife-to-be - and simulated stereo by holding my ear to the needle while playing the disc 'cause I noticed the sound coming from the pin and the speaker was different!

[mikeweil]

Yup, you all dumb.

Chuck, you had well educating parents as far as vinyl is concerned?

[mikeweil]

Oh, another story I remember: A fellow student at high school almost got a nervous breakdown whenever his mother-in-law was remowing the dust from his turntable, always while it was running and preferably wiping the finger over the tone arm.