A DEEP OLIVE BRANCH TO CHRISTIERN

[patricia]

Until such time said Puppet Show occurs might I suggest you go easy on your vibrator (what is it you named it??....STUDLEY HUNGWELL??).

Canadian electricity is at a premium. Was STUDLEY the reason for last year's blackout!!???

What is this plug-in model? Not battery-powered???

Got you there, DEEP!

I guess that point had escaped me as well.

Brush up on those sex toys, DEEP!!

Doubtless, Conn, the model being made reference to was the out-of-my-price-range, A/C adaptable one. Early in their evolution, they were sold through Sears as "personal massagers for those hard to reach areas". The picture in the catalogue used to show a demure young lady, holding one lovingly to her cheek and smiling, gently. Much like the portable CD player, with which I run every morning, these Cadillacs of the personal pleasure variety, should the batteries run down unexpectadly were equipped with an alternative power source. Should one have the mood music playing and the candles lit, and dead batteries shut down the main event, so to speak........................... ...there you go, as it were.

Edited February 5, 2004 by patricia

[connoisseur series500]

Christ, why did I get involved in this discussion?

Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, Patty.

Edited February 5, 2004 by connoisseur series500

[patricia]

Christ, why did I get involved in this discussion?     

Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, Patty.

You're welcome, Conn.

To further clarify, I think that if some would check, the original massagers were electric, the way heating pads and electric razOrs were. They came in a case, with interchangeable heads, for various "soothing personal massages". The pictures, along with the one I mentioned earlier, sometimes would show some guy, massaging his neck, or his lady massaging his sore back with one, presumably using one of the other heads.

The more modern, specifically designed, battery-operated models are relatively recent. Nobody, when the original models were first developed, would have bought the modern version, lest they be admitting what they were actually using them for. So, there you go.

Edited February 5, 2004 by patricia

[SGUD missile]

Christ, why did I get involved in this discussion?     

Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, Patty.

You're welcome, Conn.

To further clarify, I think that if some would check, the original massagers were electric, the way heating pads and electric razers were.

[patricia]

Christ, why did I get involved in this discussion?     

Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, Patty.

You're welcome, Conn.

To further clarify, I think that if some would check, the original massagers were electric, the way heating pads and electric razers were.

Uhh ..Patricia ...

" electric RAZERS" would be one of DUBByas secret laser death rays ....whilst " electric RAZORS " would be the appliances for facial ( and other hirsute bodilly areas ) harvesting ..

sorry to use your typo for a cheap gag, but the debbile made me dood it!!

Edited February 5, 2004 by patricia

[clinthopson]

I'm outta here until Feb. 26th.

Zihuatanejo beconds.

Try to keep this thread going folks.

CLiff notes would be appreciated.

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

I'm outta here until Feb. 26th.

Zihuatanejo beconds.

Try to keep this thread going folks.

CLiff notes would be appreciated.    

CLIT(ORIS),

DON'T FORGET TO PACK YOUR BLOVIATION SURVIVAL KIT.

MAKES *GOOD BAIT*...DIG??

DEEP

Edited February 5, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[patricia]

I'm outta here until Feb. 26th.

Zihuatanejo beconds.

Try to keep this thread going folks.

CLiff notes would be appreciated.

Go and a pox on you, for soaking up the sun, while this scribe is up to her hips in snow and cold.

As for Cliff notes, well, I think that you should have to read the unexpugated version, just like the rest of us.

Enjoy your holiday!! :

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

OH YEAH, FUCK THE GROPER.

ANYTIME I WANT PATTY, I CAN *HAVE* PATTY.

DEEP

[The Groper]

Let's see, Zihuatanejo--is that near Guantanamo or Guantanamera? And what's a "Bloviation kit?" Does any of it relate to Patty's history of dildoes? Why is she up to (only) her hips in snow and cold? Doesn't she have a remedy or is it a simple cry for help? C'mon, Patty, you were just hitting your stride with the teasing--Give us something we can really get off on!

[The Groper]

DEEP:

I see you're in "green with envy" mode again. Let's try not to make this our own mutual rivalry. It's obvious that Patty is an exhibitionist who loves to prance and tease before the whole Organissimo crowd. All I'm saying is--GO FOR IT, PATTY! TAKE IT ALL OFF!

Edited February 6, 2004 by The Groper

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

THE GROPER,

Obviously you haven't seen PATTY. There is a photo of her over at THE WOD'S (WEBMISTRESS OF DEATH).

The only thing a tight sweater would do for her is MAKE HER ITCH!!

It appears she hasn't got enough ass to keep her CLAM OFF THE SHEETS.....

.....but if your thing is chasing your chickies around the shower (so they can actually get wet) well then...

....PATTY IS YOURS !!

DEEP

Edited February 5, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[The Groper]

DEEP:

Can't find the WOD site, but then again I'm pretty limited in my computer skills. If my guess is right, though, Patty has a whole lot more to offer than her suggestive comments here. It seems quite significant that she's apparently the only female posting. I know I'm being drawn into her "web" and apparently she's got you to a stage of blithering, foaming SEMEN OVERLOAD! No wonder you need to see your urologist tomorrow.

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

SEMEN OVERLOAD!  No wonder you need to see your urologist tomorrow.

THE GROPER,

Yeah, that shit curdles if you don't get it out.

I'm seein' Dr. Rooter to have my Johnson stunted. The fuckin' thing is out of control.

Patty is pretty horny most of the time. You don't have to be Kobe (beef) Bryant to sus that out.

Maybe she'd go for you. Where the fuck do you live? She'd probably catch a bus or a snowmobile, or dog sled...or anything JUST TO GET LAID!!

DEEP

Edited February 6, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[The Groper]

To review:

My sex life is in hibernation; however the titillating PATRICIA is causing some DEEP stirrings within. The real kick is that I can imagine thrills WITHOUT PHYSICAL CONTACT. She has a gift for long-distance hand-jobs. I don't want to see any snowmobiles, dog-sleds OR MODEL A's in my driveway--with or without chains. But she surely craves some kind of abuse, considering her ignorant Canadian rants about my beleaguered hero, DUBYA. I'm all a-tingle with lascivious loathing. Surely you, as a recalcitrant reprobate, can appreciate that.

Edited February 6, 2004 by The Groper

[Gary]

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

To review:

My sex life is in hibernation; however the titillating PATRICIA is causing some DEEP stirrings within.  The real kick is that I can imagine thrills WITHOUT PHYSICAL CONTACT.  She has a gift for long-distance hand-jobs.  I don't want to see any snowmobiles, dog-sleds OR MODEL A's in my driveway--with or without chains.  But she surely craves some kind of abuse, considering her ignorant Canadian rants about my beleaguered hero, DUBYA.  I'm all a-tingle with lascivious loathing.  Surely you, as a recalcitrant reprobate, can appreciate that.

Excuse me, The Groper, (while I step over Gary's purile post) but what could be the harm in inviting Patty to come by and view your etchings. It might palliate her *ITCHINGS*. (That tight sweater...you know).

I think you and Patty would make perfect strangers and that's why I've introduced her to you. It's high time you made it with a PERFECT STRANGER!!

DEEP

Edited February 6, 2004 by DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)

[patricia]

To review:

My sex life is in hibernation; however the titillating PATRICIA is causing some DEEP stirrings within.  The real kick is that I can imagine thrills WITHOUT PHYSICAL CONTACT.  She has a gift for long-distance hand-jobs.  I don't want to see any snowmobiles, dog-sleds OR MODEL A's in my driveway--with or without chains.  But she surely craves some kind of abuse, considering her ignorant Canadian rants about my beleaguered hero, DUBYA.  I'm all a-tingle with lascivious loathing.  Surely you, as a recalcitrant reprobate, can appreciate that.

Excuse me, The Groper, (while I step over Gary's purile post) but what could be the harm in inviting Patty to come by and view your etchings. It might palliate her *ITCHINGS*. (That tight sweater...you know).

I think you and Patty would make perfect strangers and that's why I've introduced her to you. It's high time you made it with a PERFECT STRANGER!!

DEEP

GROPER,

I'm somewhat hurt to have my observations about your President being classified as "Ignorant Canadian Rants". The Emperor has no clothes, GROPER. Don't just read the American press.

As for the personal massager details I posted, it wasn't an inventory of my possessions, but merely an explanation of what is, or has been available to those who wish to know about such things.

I seek only to inform.

Also, I am indeed of slight stature, but I have inner ferocity and resent being "given" to anyone. So I say to our thread originator, nobody owns me and only that which is yours can ever be given away.

And I own no tight sweaters, dog sleds or snowmobiles. I don't live in an igloo either.

I must admit though, I did feel a slight burst of pride at being described as a "Perfect Stranger". Nobody has ever thought I was a perfect anthing before.

Thank you for the lop-sided compliment.

Edited February 6, 2004 by patricia

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

THE GROPER,

I figured you'd want to know how things went with Dr. Rooter this morning.

Let me put it to you this way....Dr. Rooter is quite a fisherman during his leisure hours but man, when this cat saw my ROD..

......HE REELED !!

He was so impressed he advised against the stunting procedure.

To be perfectly truthful, living life with this Albatross between my thighs can be a little uncomfortable but.... it could make PATTY feel like she's FOURTEEN AGAIN...WhhooooooooOOOEEEEEEEEE !!!

DEEP (REAL DEEP)

[patricia]

THE GROPER,

I figured you'd want to know how things went with Dr. Rooter this morning.

Let me put it to you this way....Dr. Rooter is quite a fisherman during his leisure hours but man, when this cat saw my ROD..

......<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>HE REELED !!</span>

He was so impressed he advised against the stunting procedure.

To be perfectly truthful, living life with this Albatross between my thighs can be a little uncomfortable but.... it could make PATTY feel like she's FOURTEEN AGAIN...WhhooooooooOOOEEEEEEEEE !!!

DEEP    (REAL DEEP)

We're all relieved that all is well with your albatross.

As for feeling like I'm fourteen again, I don't think so.

Sixteen, maybe.

When I was fourteen, I was wearing undershirts, riding my bike and eating popsicles.

I was a late bloomer. I'm always surprised that I'm a grown-up now, but apparantly I am.

My credo is that LIFE is the journey and DEATH the inevitable destination. Not one of us, no matter how grand or accomplished, is more than a blip on the radar in THE BIG PICTURE. Our accomplishments, art, music, literature and how we touched other people are what we leave after we're finally ALL worm-food.

Mild depression sometimes brings out the latent philosopher, to my constant chagrin.

My apologies, in advance, for my lapse into seriousness.

Now, a touch of levity, in the form of a poem, written in 1967. by the Canadian poet, Alden Nowlan:

In The Operating Room

The anesthetist is singing

"Michael, row the boat ashore,

Hallelujah!"

And I am astonished

that his arms

are so hairy -

like little coppery ferns

growing out of

his flesh

from wrist

to shoulder

I would like

to reach up

and touch

the hairy arm

of the anesthetist

because it may be

the last living thing

I will ever see

and I am glad

it is not white and hairless

- but if I reached up

and wound

a few whisps

of his hair

around my forefinger

as I would like to do

they would think

their drugs

had made me silly

and might remember

and laugh

if I live,

so I concentrate

very hard

on the song

the anesthetist

is singing -

"The River Jordon

is muddy and cold,

Hallellujah!"

And soon

everything

is dark

and nothing

matters

and when I try

to reach up

and touch

the hair

which I think of

now as

little jets

of fire

I discover

they've strapped

my arms

to the table.

Back to you...............

Edited February 6, 2004 by patricia

[patricia]

AND, while I'm in a philosophical mood, let me share another poem, this time by Leonard Cohen, a Canadian poet, with whom you may be more familiar.

"The killers that run..."

The killers that run

the other countries

are trying to get us to overthrow the killers

that run our own

I for one

prefer the rule

of our native killers

I am convinced

the foreign killer

will kill more of us

than the old familiar killer does

Frankly I don't believe

anyone out there

really wants us to solve

our social problems

I base this all on how I feel

about the man next door

I just hope he doesn't

get any uglier

Therefore I am a patriot

I don't like to see

a burning flag

because it excites

the killers on either side

to unfortunate excess

which goes on gaily

quite unchecked

until everyone is dead.

..........................................

My own view is that blind patriotism, or nationalism, based purely on the accidental place of one's birth, without any other consideration, or thought is very strange to me and totally illogical.

Even our closest personal friends have to EARN our loyalty. Why do we set the bar lower for those politicians who hold our very lives in their hands?? For my own part, if a friend lies to me, even once, I never completely trust them again.

Nothing else is more important.

Now, off to paid labour.............

Edited February 6, 2004 by patricia

[connoisseur series500]

Hey GROPE:

Not only do we get the Canadian political view of the world, now we're getting the finest poets from the Yukon.

[Guest DEEP (GET ME OUT OF MY SKULL)]

Hey GROPE:

Not only do we get the Canadian political view of the world, now we're getting the finest poets from the Yukon.

conn ( a linguist),

Ya gotta admit, it beats that nickname shit...well.....maybe not.

DEEP

[patricia]

Well, guys, I was uncharacteristically stuck for words. What can I tell you??

The two poems, one of which made me smile and the other which made me think may not beat my nickname "shit", but how much can be said about our thread-originator's ailing appendages??

Edited February 7, 2004 by patricia

[Tim McG]

On JazzCorner, we heard of the "olive branch" thread and I thought, fair man that I am, I'd come over here and check it out.

It would appear, "newbie" that I am on this BBS, that some things never change.

But Danny D'Imperio is still one of my favorite BeBop drummers on the Planet...in spite of himself.

Dan, Dan, Dan...will you never learn?

sheesh.

[This place kinda makes me think of the old JazzOnLine...and I think I like that]

Edited February 7, 2004 by GoodSpeak