Worst Lines in Good Songs

[AllenLowe]

I'm thinking in particular about old standard songs -

for example, I always thought the line "my heart beat like a hammer" in Stars Fell on Alabama, was a god-awful thing. So when I sing it around the house I change it to:

"I... was living in the slammer...."

or

"I... stutter and I stammer"

"I...flunked the sex I.Q. test in Glamour"

"I...had a date with Tamara"

"I...never had good grammar."

(yes, I know, all signs of someone who does not have enough to do)

any more?

Edited November 29, 2009 by AllenLowe

[AllenLowe]

"love was just a glance away...come here pull down your pants away"

"I heard it said...that the thrill of romance...is when you jump into bed...and you pull down your pants..."

"It's a shame the way she makes me eat those s'mores"

Edited November 29, 2009 by AllenLowe

[AllenLowe]

"she...set fire to my jammies..."

"I...was feeling cold and clammy"

(title change: Stars Fell on Alabamy")

[AllenLowe]

"I...won myself a Grammy"

"I...had a date with Tammy"

"I...was shot in Vietnam-y"

"I...did the town with Sammy"

I...did it with your mama..."

[AllenLowe]

"I...was hangin' with Jeff Dahmer..."

[AllenLowe]

"I...called the Dalai Lama...."

[AllenLowe]

"I...was fishing for some salmon...."

[Shrdlu]

How about the awful, un-fixable bit in "The Girl From Ipanema"?

[AllenLowe]

sorry, someone else will have to deal with that one - I have my hands full -

"I...was listening on the scanner..."

Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe

[AllenLowe]

actually, which line do you mean?

[Shrdlu]

"... She looks straight ahead not at he ..."

Not Jobim's fault. He only wrote the Portuguese lyrics.

[AllenLowe]

how about

"she looks straight ahead at a tree."

or

"she looks straight ahead, there in Phill-y"

(Gilberto currently lives in that city)

[BruceH]

Neither of the lines you guys mentioned really bugs me at all. What do you expect from lyrics? Poetry?

[Brad]

We could probably have a whole forum dedicated to bad lyrics (which are sometimes just an afterthought to a catch melody).

[AllenLowe]

there are just some times (to answer Bruce) when a line is just so clunky and awkward that it screams "rhyme." That's why I particularly dislike "my heart beat like a hammer." Another that bothers me is "I'm like an oven crying for heat." I never heard an oven cry.

of course, the most obnoxious purveyor of words that tear and strain to rhyme was Dylan, who wrote too fast, convinced as he was that, as a genius, no matter what he did was a work of genius.

Same problem with Lou Reed (and he may be the most embarrassing example of a good artist gone bad).

Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe

[AllenLowe]

a little Lou Reed:

Remember when, we were younger when

You would wait for me at school

Teacher's friends and brazen sins

And I was often cruel

But you always believed in me

You thought I was the best

And now that I got you alone

Let me get this off my chest

Pick a melody

Then count from one to ten

I make a rhyme up

Then we will try again

To laugh or cry or give a sigh

To past that might have been

And how much I really love my baby sister

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited November 30, 2009 by AllenLowe

[seeline]

"... She looks straight ahead not at he ..."

Not Jobim's fault. He only wrote the Portuguese lyrics.

Vinicius de Moraes wrote the Portuguese lyrics.... Jobim wrote the song.

[Spontooneous]

OK, here's a patch for the Ipanema bridge:

Each day as she walks to the ocean

She looks straight ahead, not at Allen.

[Larry Kart]

How about:

Olha que coisa mais linda

Mais cheia de graça

É ela a menina

Que vem e que passa

Num doce balanço

A caminho do mar

Moça do corpo dourado

Do sol de Ipanema

O seu balançado

É mais que um poema

É a coisa mais linda

Que eu já vi passar

Ah, Por que estou tão sozinho

Ah, Por que tudo é tão triste

Ah, A beleza que existe

A beleza que não é só minha

Que também passa sozinha

Ah, se ela soubesse

Que quando ela passa

O mundo sorrindo

Se enche de graça

E fica mais lindo

Por causa do amor

Por causa do amor...

[Spontooneous]

How about:

Olha que coisa mais linda

Mais cheia de graça

É ela a menina

Que vem e que passa

Num doce balanço

A caminho do mar

Moça do corpo dourado

Do sol de Ipanema

O seu balançado

É mais que um poema

É a coisa mais linda

Que eu já vi passar

Ah, Por que estou tão sozinho

Ah, Por que tudo é tão triste

Ah, A beleza que existe

A beleza que não é só minha

Que também passa sozinha

Ah, se ela soubesse

Que quando ela passa

O mundo sorrindo

Se enche de graça

E fica mais lindo

Por causa do amor

Por causa do amor...

Yeah, but you'll never get that on the radio in the USA.

[danasgoodstuff]

I thought it was "She looks straight ahead, not at me", or am I being self-centered? Either way, it doesn't bug me/he. Neither does "My heart beat (just) like a hammer'which is also in any number of blues in some variant and must've been idiomatic at some place/time. "I'm like an oven crying for heat" is inventive, it suggests that heat is what it (and I) was built for...

I think most of the truly bad lyrics in good songs I just forget...but I'll try to think of some.

I agree with Allen that Dylan often worked too fast and didn't edit, and that Reed long ago jumped the shark and entered his fat elvis period without much of anyone noticing...Songs For Drella was so bad that it was funny to me, in small doses.

[BruceH]

"She loves you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

She loves you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

She loves you

Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

I actually like those lines.

But I have to agree, Lou Reed has been sucking for a long time.

[Tom Storer]

Then there's always this immortal couplet from "These Foolish Things":

"A tinkling piano in the next apartment,

Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant"

Of course, when Billie Holiday sings it, all is forgiven.

[AllenLowe]

"Each day as she walks to the ocean

She looks straight ahead, not at Allen. "

or

"each day as she walks to the ocean -

she applies lots of sun tan lotion"

Edited December 1, 2009 by AllenLowe

[AllenLowe]

some of the worst crap from Dylan: (Visions of Johanna):

"Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet?

We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it

And Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin' you to defy it

Lights flicker from the opposite loft

In this room the heat pipes just cough

The country music station plays soft

But there's nothing, really nothing to turn off

Just Louise and her lover so entwined

And these visions of Johanna that conquer my mind"

an opposite loft? give me a break. Though that's the least of the problems here.