HOW WILL YOU DIE?

[robviti]

que pasa everybody!

today i got some bad news. it appears that i'm going to die from heart failure after a night of mixing pain killers and hard liquor. this is a particularly interesting way to meet my maker since i recently became the director of behavioral medicine at (drum roll) a chronc pain clinic!

anyway, in keeping with the month of october's association with halloween and all things dark and icky, feel free to click on the link provided to discover how you will shed your mortal coil. and of course, share the results!

death psychic

[James]

I don't have to check with the death psychic, since I already know. On the 25th anniversary of my sobriety, I'm going to be T-boned by a Budweiser truck. (on the driver's side)

[7/4]

A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

.

[catesta]

While watching whales in a observation area of the aquarium, a suicidal maniac shoots the glass wall of the tank with a shotgun. Four million gallons of water quickly rush out of the tank and into the hallway, drowning you (and everyone else around).

Fuck! As if I didn't already worry about this enough everytime I'm looking at whales at the aquarium.

[Noj]

While on a boat, you slip and fall overboard. As you struggle to climb back in, your hands are chopped off by the motor's blades. You sink beneath the water as you bleed profusely.

Rough! I'd expect better balance and more caution from myself.

[Dan Gould]

Interesting.

Danny (which I shed in High School even if my sister continues to call me that)

Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by hanging yourself.

Daniel, which I only use when signing checks, for academic papers, and when I feel "formal":

While sitting in the passenger seat of a friend's car, a faulty airbag deploys, crushing your face.

And Dan, which I use 99% of the time:

While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.

Faulty air bags looks relatively quick and painless, so I think I am going to go with Daniel from now on. If you think I'm kidding, check my signature.

[medjuck]

"While you're driving on the freeway, a van in front of you swerves, and a ladder strapped to the top of the van comes loose. The ladder crashes through your windshield at high speed and crushes your face."

What's scary is that this is quite plausible.

[mikelz777]

While walking up an escalator, your shoelace gets caught in the moving stairs, and you are dragged all the way to the top. You die from internal injuries.

[DukeCity]

Sounds rather ominous, but apparently I'm going to kack completely out of the blue, while typing a response on a jazz bulletiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'jjjjjjjjjjjjo/iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilo''''''''

[RDK]

After haggling over the price of meat, an enraged butcher whips you to death with a large beef tongue.

[Aggie87]

After years of mistreating telemarketers, your lifeless and battered body is found next to a bloodied telephone handset.

Wait - are they mistreating me for all those years, or am I mistreating them??

[BeBop]

After you rudely push your way through a crowded line at the zoo, a large, angry man picks you up and throws you over a guardrail into the bear pit. Being only minutes before feeding time, you are quickly devoured by the hungry beasts.

Damn, is this a 'fair' death for a vegan?

Edited October 2, 2008 by BeBop

[Jim Alfredson]

While driving on the freeway, you're cut off by a truck, and your car veers into the concrete median, killing you instantly.

As much driving as I do as a musician, this isn't funny.

[mikeweil]

When I call myself Mike, I get http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/prediction.asp?u42251

When using Michael, I get http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/prediction.asp?u44528

I wonder how many do they have? Crap ...

[zen archer]

While in a hotel pool, you are trapped underwater by the powerful suction of the pool's pump, and you drown to death.

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

I live to 100 and get elected President at 80 (McCain's my VP)

[tonym]

While on a boat, you slip and fall overboard. As you struggle to climb back in, your hands are chopped off by the motor's blades. You sink beneath the water as you bleed profusely.

Rough! I'd expect better balance and more caution from myself.

So at the inquest is it drowning or bleeding to death?

These things matter.

[tonym]

Tony fizzles out in the most un-Rock n' Roll way possible "You die from complications of a ruptured appendix".

While Antony better be more careful. "While you're in bed with another woman, your wife comes home and catches you in the act. In a fit of rage, she stabs you to death violently with a pair of scissors".

[Free For All]

"Your death will be particularly slow, cruel and agonizing. You will continue to play trombone for the rest of your miserable life."

[paul secor]

Your unrelenting heckling of a prop comic drives him to beat you to death with a toilet seat.

I've only been to a comedy club once, and have no plans to ever repeat that experience, so I guess I'll live forever.

[BeBop]

While in a hotel pool, you are trapped underwater by the powerful suction of the pool's pump, and you drown to death.

...drown to death.

Wow, that sounds worse than just drowning. Maybe I can use it in my next story: "...husband returned home unexpectedly and killed him to death."

[Peter Johnson]

You get out of bed late one night to investigate a strange sound. Minutes later, you're cornered by several intruders and are beaten to death with your own fireplace tools.

Yikes. I've had this thought before, actually, walking past the fireplace at night!

[jazzbo]

When using my full name:

You're caught cheating at miniature golf and are beaten to death with a small windmill.

[Shawn]

A deranged lunatic splashes you in the face with a bucket full of hydrofluoric acid, immediately melting the flesh from your skull...

Sounds like a Lucio Fulci film...cool.

[Free For All]

A deranged lunatic splashes you in the face with a bucket full of hydrofluoric acid, immediately melting the flesh from your skull...

Sounds like a Lucio Fulci film...cool.

See, Shawn? No truck involved whatsoever!