How To Start A Record Label

[JSngry]

http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Record-Label Edited August 21, 2008 by JSngry

[WD45]

[JSngry]

AAARGH! You were too fast!

[WD45]

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Ho, ho, fuckin' ho!

Someone show this to Chuck. Then duck.

MG

[Alexander]

I'm reminded of a Monty Python skit called "How To Do It":

Alan: Hello.

Noel: Hello.

Alan: Well, last week we showed you how to become a gynaecologist. And this week on 'How to do it' we're going to show you how to play the flute, how to split an atom, how to construct a box girder bridge, how to irrigate the Sahara Desert and make vast new areas of land cultivatable, but first, here's Jackie to tell you all how to rid the world of all known diseases.

Jackie: Hello, Alan.

Alan: Hello, Jackie.

Jackie: Well, first of all become a doctor and discover a marvellous cure for something, and then, when the medical profession really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right so there'll never be any diseases ever again.

Alan: Thanks, Jackie. Great idea. How to play the flute. (picking up a flute) Well here we are. You blow there and you move your fingers up and down here.

Noel: Great, great, Alan. Well, next week we'll be showing you how black and white people can live together in peace and harmony, and Alan will be over in Moscow showing us how to reconcile the Russians and the Chinese. So, until next week, cheerio.

Alan: Bye.

Jackie: Bye.

[Chuck Nessa]

Ho, ho, fuckin' ho!

Someone show this to Chuck. Then duck.

MG

I prefer to think of myself as a pimp. I offended Jim Alfredson's promo guy by calling him one. Tough shit. That's what we do.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Ho, ho, fuckin' ho!

Someone show this to Chuck. Then duck.

MG

I prefer to think of myself as a pimp. I offended Jim Alfredson's promo guy by calling him one. Tough shit. That's what we do.

Quite right too! Though I think I used the word parasite in the Jerry wexler thread

MG

[Joe G]

Ho, ho, fuckin' ho!

Someone show this to Chuck. Then duck.

MG

I prefer to think of myself as a pimp. I offended Jim Alfredson's promo guy by calling him one. Tough shit. That's what we do.

Minus the hat and cane, of course.

[jimi089]

You know you've got an airtight business plan when the last step is "keep your fingers crossed."

[Jazzmoose]

http://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Record-Label

Laugh if you guys want, but I think this is the answer to my dreams! Moose Records is on the way!!

All of you musicians here will be receiving contracts from Moose Records, of course. Naturally, we want to get your work out in front of your public as soon as possible, so there's really no time for you to actually read the contracts; just sign them and get them back as soon as possible.

For those of you who insist on reading the contracts, first of all, I'm hurt. Can't we trust each other? But a few explanations, just in case you're nervous. Section three, paragraph four is standard in the industry, so don't worry about it. Section five, paragraph six is merely a formality; don't worry about it. As for the royalty clause, this is actually to protect you and keep me honest. Remember: I work as a bookkeeper, so I can pretty much make the numbers say whatever I want. By eliminating royalties, any temptation on my part to "juggle the books" is eliminated, and you're protected.

Remember, the main thing in this game is exposure, so get those contracts back fast! I guarantee that with Moose Records, you'll get so much exposure that, unless you have a barrell handy, you'll consider it absolutely indecent!

[Free For All]

Sounds great! Sign me up! Should I change my will to cover any "unexpected costs" you might incur?

[Jazzmoose]

Damn...wish I'd thought of that!