Song lyrics that make you want to scream

[Big Al]

Far, far better than McCartney's Christmas song...

"Simply having a wonderful Christmas time..."

If there were ever lyrics that perfectly captured the difference between John and Paul...

I'll bet that song took maybe five minutes to write, produce, record, mix, press, and release. Maybe.

And yet, I can't help it: I love that song! The cheesy synths make it sound like it's snowing outside. The choir sings their song. It's June, and I can't wait for the holiday season to start so I can hear that song a zillion times in December. I can't help it. I'm a sick man.

[A Lark Ascending]

This wasa big hit in the UK in 1976 and I recall rushing to the radio to switch it off every time it appeared:

'Music' John Miles

Music was my first love

And it will be my last

Music of the future

And music of the past

To live without my music

Would be impossible to do

In this world of troubles

My music pulls me through

BRIDGE

Music was my first love

And it will be my last

Music of the future

And music of the past

And music of the past

And music of the past

BRIDGE

Music was my first love

And it will be my last

Music of the future

And music of the past

To live without my music

Would be impossible to do

'Cause in this world of troubles

My music pulls me through

These were the days of intense trade union activism so I can only assume that the lyricists union was working to rule, putting a quota on new verses.

Edited June 12, 2008 by Bev Stapleton

[Big Al]

As much as I love Michael Nesmith, this song has always struck me as misogynist, sexist, and just downright nauseating:

Nine Times Blue

There's a certain something in the way

You looked at me and said you'd stay

That let me know that I was out of line

But I didn't know what else to do

And like a fool I tested you

By demanding things of you which weren't mine

And now I feel like such a fool

For making you crawl back to me

But you did it with such love

That you're standing far above

Me and all I did to you

I'm sorry now, what can I do?

"I'm sorry???" That's it??? "Sorry?"

I know that never in the world

Could I have found me such a girl

Who's there to pick me up before I fall

So if in the end we should go

Both our separate ways

I know the lesson I've learned here is worth it all

What lesson??? That you're a jerk? Yeesh!!!

[B. Clugston]

"Seasons in the Sun" and "Jump" are howlers.

A dip into the Corey Hart songbook would also be fruitful for this thread.

[Alexander]

"Seasons in the Sun" and "Jump" are howlers.

A dip into the Corey Hart songbook would also be fruitful for this thread.

I couldn't in good conscience list "Season in the Sun" among the worst lyrics of all time simply because EVERYTHING about that song is horrible. The lyrics, yes, but also the tune, the instrumental peformance, and the vocal performance. Eveything about that song is just bad, bad, BAD. I work in a JAIL, and I don't think they could get away with playing that song in there (violates the inmates' constitutional protection against cruel and unusual punishment).

At least with some of these songs, there's SOMETHING to recommend them. If you don't pay any attention to lyrics, I can see how you would like "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole. But there is NOTHING good about "Seasons in the Sun." And yet there are people who actually call radio stations and REQUEST it! I know there's no accounting for taste, but this is ridiculous!

[Alexander]

One of my favorite SpongeBob episodes involves Patrick (the starfish. SpongeBob's best friend) writing a song that's so horrible that it kills the musicians who record it and causes everyone who hears it to riot. Here are the lyrics:

Twinkle twinkle Patrick Star

I made myself a sandwhich

my mommy named it Fred

it tastes like beans and bacon

and smells like its been dead

Writing stuff is so hard so i use a pointy pencil

pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point.

P.U whats that horrible smell?

Drum solo!

(drum solo)

I have a head.

It ends in a point

a pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, pointy, point

this song is over

except for this line

you win this round

Broccoli

This song is better than "Seasons in the Sun."

Edited June 13, 2008 by Alexander

[Big Al]

A metal enema is better than "Seasons in the Sun"

[Big Al]

Not that I would know..... the thought just occured to me, that's all.....

[Jazzmoose]

But there is NOTHING good about "Seasons in the Sun." And yet there are people who actually call radio stations and REQUEST it!

I find that hard to believe; it's gotta be an urban myth!

[Van Basten II]

Seasons in the sun has to be the worst adaption, can't call it translation since it has nothing to do with the original, of a french song.

Heck, just look at the difference in the titles Brel's title is le Moribond which means the person who's about to die, they just took the original music and put a bunch of nonsensical lyrics.

In the same vein, the english versions of Caetono Veloso's baby are pretty pathetic too

You know, you must take a look at the new land

The swimming pool and the teeth of your friend

The dirt in my hand

You know, you must take a look at me

Baby, baby

I know that's the way

You know, you must try the new ice cream flavor

Do me a favor, look at me closer

Join us and go far

And hear the new sound of my bossa nova

Baby, baby

It's been a long time

You know, it's time now to learn Portuguese

It's time now to learn what I know

And what I don't know

And what I don't know

And what I don't know

I know, with me everything is fine

It's time now to make up your mind

We live in the biggest city of South America

Of South America

Of South America

Look here, read what I wrote on my shirt

Baby, baby

I love you

You do

[Alexander]

Seasons in the sun has to be the worst adaption, can't call it translation since it has nothing to do with the original, of a french song.

Heck, just look at the difference in the titles Brel's title is le Moribond which means the person who's about to die, they just took the original music and put a bunch of nonsensical lyrics.

In the same vein, the english versions of Caetono Veloso's baby are pretty pathetic too

You know, you must take a look at the new land

The swimming pool and the teeth of your friend

The dirt in my hand

You know, you must take a look at me

Baby, baby

I know that's the way

You know, you must try the new ice cream flavor

Do me a favor, look at me closer

Join us and go far

And hear the new sound of my bossa nova

Baby, baby

It's been a long time

You know, it's time now to learn Portuguese

It's time now to learn what I know

And what I don't know

And what I don't know

And what I don't know

I know, with me everything is fine

It's time now to make up your mind

We live in the biggest city of South America

Of South America

Of South America

Look here, read what I wrote on my shirt

Baby, baby

I love you

You do

Yeah, silly lyric, but the recording by Os Mutantes is great!

[Van Basten II]

Agreed about Os Mutantes, they did some great psychedelical music.

Regarding seasons in the sun, found a translation that gives you more what the song is all about.

The Dying

Goodbye, Emile, I loved you well

Goodbye, Emile, I loved you well, you know

We sang of the same wines

We sang of the same women

We sang of the same sorrows

Goodbye, Emile, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I'm go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you are good as fresh bread

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

I want all to laugh

I want all to dance

I want all to party like mad

I want all to laugh

I want all to dance

When it is the time to put me in the ground

Goodbye, Father, I loved you well

Goodbye, Father, I loved you well, you know

We weren't on the same side

We weren’t on the same path

But we were searching for the same port

Goodbye, Father, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you were her Confessor

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

Goodbye, Antoine, I didn't like you at all

Goodbye, Antoine, I didn't like you at all, you know

It is killing me to die today

While you are living so well

And even stronger in your tedium

Goodbye, Antoine, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you were her Lover

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

Goodbye, my wife, I loved you

Goodbye, my wife, I loved you well, you know

But I'm catching the train to the Good Lord

I'm taking that train before you

But we all take that train when we have to

Goodbye, my wife, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers eyes closed, my wife

As I often closed them before

I know you will take care of my soul

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Agreed about Os Mutantes, they did some great psychedelical music.

Regarding seasons in the sun, found a translation that gives you more what the song is all about.

The Dying

Goodbye, Emile, I loved you well

Goodbye, Emile, I loved you well, you know

We sang of the same wines

We sang of the same women

We sang of the same sorrows

Goodbye, Emile, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I'm go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you are good as fresh bread

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

I want all to laugh

I want all to dance

I want all to party like mad

I want all to laugh

I want all to dance

When it is the time to put me in the ground

Goodbye, Father, I loved you well

Goodbye, Father, I loved you well, you know

We weren't on the same side

We weren’t on the same path

But we were searching for the same port

Goodbye, Father, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you were her Confessor

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

Goodbye, Antoine, I didn't like you at all

Goodbye, Antoine, I didn't like you at all, you know

It is killing me to die today

While you are living so well

And even stronger in your tedium

Goodbye, Antoine, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers with peace in my soul

Because you were her Lover

I know you will take care of my wife

(Chorus)

Goodbye, my wife, I loved you

Goodbye, my wife, I loved you well, you know

But I'm catching the train to the Good Lord

I'm taking that train before you

But we all take that train when we have to

Goodbye, my wife, I'm going to die

It's hard to die in the Spring, you know

But I go to the flowers eyes closed, my wife

As I often closed them before

I know you will take care of my soul

Shit, that is a fucking BEAUTIFUL song VB3! (I don't know the English version.) Please recommend a recording.

MG

[Van Basten II]

I suggest the original by Jacques Brel, i found this translation googling on the internet, because i was too lazy to translate it myself and the google translators were doing a poor job.

Unfortunately very few anglophone artists were able to nail Brel perfectly in terms of really putting the spirit of the lyrics in the original language and avoid hamming it up in the interpretation.

How they were able to turn the above text into this turd is a mystery to me

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.

We've known each other since we're nine or ten.

Together we climbed hills or trees.

Learned of love and ABC's,

skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.

Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die,

when all the birds are singing in the sky,

Now that the spring is in the air.

Pretty girls are everywhere.

When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

But the hills that we climbed

were just seasons out of time.

Goodbye, Papa, please pray for me,

I was the black sheep of the family.

You tried to teach me right from wrong.

Too much wine and too much song,

wonder how I get along.

Goodbye, Papa, it's hard to die

when all the birds are singing in the sky,

Now that the spring is in the air.

Little children everywhere.

When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

But the wine and the song,

like the seasons, all have gone.

Goodbye, Michelle, my little one.

You gave me love and helped me find the sun.

And every time that I was down

you would always come around

and get my feet back on the ground.

Goodbye, Michelle, it's hard to die

when all the bird are singing in the sky,

Now that the spring is in the air.

With the flowers ev'rywhere.

I whish that we could both be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.

But the stars we could reach

were just starfishs on the beach

If you still want a version of this song , since they turned lyrically a great story into a silly song devoided of any drama or pathos, i'd go with the pop version by Black Box Recorder.

By the way here's an article from Slate which you might fing places to go

http://www.slate.com/id/2114863/

PS MG i'm just the second , i don't have any litttle Bastens hanging around :

Edited June 14, 2008 by Van Basten II

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

I suggest the original by Jacques Brel,

http://www.slate.com/id/2114863/

Link won't work for my Windows media player, I'm afraid.

Tried to find it at Amazon UK; picked on a couple of cheap CDs, but no track listing. Sorry to be a bother, but can you suggest an actual album that includes it?

PS MG i'm just the second , i don't have any litttle Bastens hanging around :

Oops! Something to do with the organ

MG

[Van Basten II]

If you're looking for Brel's original version , here's a link , hope this works.

http://www.amazon.fr/Coffret-CD-Intense-in...p;sr=8-2#disc_1

Also don't know if you want to for a greatest hits compilation or the original recording , the version was first put out on this

Edited June 14, 2008 by Van Basten II

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Thanks very much VB2.

MG

[Van Basten II]

Found this on youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbhvoYYIdnQ

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Good grief! That is incredible!

The backing seems as if it's entirely wrong and will be annoying, but it isn't a self-pitying song, which might be implied by the words (and the fact that McKuen wrote the English version) and by the time you're into it, you're into it. And the subtlety of the line about you'll have to take what train you can - shakes head in wonder. Cheery bitterness!

Thank you very much!

MG

[Van Basten II]

That 's what made Brel so special, his singing character walked a very tiny tightrope between the sublime and ridiculous, try Les Bonbons where the character singing the song is quite despicable or Madeleine where the pathetism of the singer makes the song greater.

Here's Madeleine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5az10P02cc

Here's Les Bonbons (The candies)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P-uDKvGxYo

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Thank you. Yes, it's very interesting. I never got Brel before. The translations are helpful; I'd have missed some points without them; particularly the tense change in Bonbons.

Those songs are MEANT to be the way they are - a very bitter, intense and condensed satire on love and no song like that could be successful in America, or Britain I fancy. So translations always miss the boat.

MG

[Big Al]

Proving once again that no one else ever went broke underestimating the stupidity of the masses, it can only explain how the following vapid Hallmark reject became a hit song:

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open Hey!!! Creed oughta sue!!! -Al

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

[Big Al]

Then there's this stupid-ass song, which would've gone nowhere had it not appeared in that iPod (or whatever) commercial. Thanks, Steve Jobs!

"1234"

One, two, three, four

Tell me that you love me more

Sleepless long nights

That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door

Left you with nothing but they want some more

(Good Lord, is this Janis Ian's daughter writing this shit???)

Oh, you're changing your heart

Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart

Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

(Where the hell did that last bit come from? Run out of ideas? Couldn't find something ELSE to rhyme with "apart"?)

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes

Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart

Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten

Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten

Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

(How lazy is that? Poor seven and eight! Excluded because they didn't fit the meter! Hey lady, are you gonna write a song about seven and eight and their feelings of exclusion? They're probably hearing this song thinking, "Hypocrite! You sing about exclusion and you leave us out! Bitch!!!)

Oh, you're changing your heart

Oh, you know who you are

Oh, you're changing your heart

Oh, you know who you are

Oh, who you are

For the teenage boys

They're breaking your heart

For the teenage boys

They're breaking your heart

("When payments due exceed accounts received at seventeen" Everybody sing along now!)

[Jazzmoose]

(Good Lord, is this Janis Ian's daughter writing this shit???)

They say the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, but they neglect to mention that it can roll downhill for a hell of long ways...

[BruceH]

Anything by Coldplay.