Song lyrics that make you want to scream

[Jazzmoose]

Okay, I've been living in rural areas for about two and a half years now, so I'm becoming more familiar than I ever thought possible with country music. Like most music, some is good, some is bad, and then there's the occasional one that drives me up the freakin' wall. This concerns one of them. The song is I'm Just a Girl, sung by Deanna Carter, and written (I think) by Carter and Billy Mann. I'm not sure who did the lyrics and who did the tune, but it makes my blood boil every time I hear it. Here are the lyrics:

I've traveled 'round the world in airplanes and in cars

I've tried exotic foods and smoked some fine cigars

I'm just a girl, an American girl

I'm just a girl, but I'm not an ordinary girl

I'm a Chevy girl

I've strolled down Paris streets, been lost in London fog

But all I really need are the fields of Arkansas

I'm just a girl, an American girl

I'm just a girl, but I'm not an ordinary girl

I need an old Corvette with the top down

And a backseat for my friends

I need baseball and apple pie to feel alive

Gimme a Coke-a-cola sundae and a Beach Boy's serenade

I need freedom to be all around the world

I'm a Southern girl

I want an old porch swing under Montana skies

To hold a working man, looking good in his old Levi's

I'm just a girl, an American girl

I'm just a girl, but I'm not an ordinary girl

I need an old Corvette with the top down

And a backseat for my friends

I need baseball and apple pie to feel alive

Gimme a Coke-a-cola sundae and a Beach Boy's serenade

I need freedom to be all around the world

I'm daddy's girl

I've traveled 'round this world and I'm ready to go home

Can you believe this? This idiot, this self-proclaimed "Chevy Girl" thinks she can find a Corvette with a backseat!! I don't know why this bugs the living shit out of me, but it does. Morons! Imbeciles!! Grr...Snort!!!

Ahem. Okay; I feel better now...

[Alexander]

Worst lyric of all time is "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole:

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see the peace in every eye

She had two babies

One was six months one was three

In the war of '44

Every telephone ring

Every heartbeat stinging

When she thought it was God calling her

Oh would her son grow to know his father

CHORUS:

I don't want to wait

For our lives to be over

I want to know right now

What will it be

I don't want to wait

For our lives to be over

Will it be yes or will it be

Sorry

He showed up all wet

On the rainy front step

Wearing shrapnel in his skin

And the war he saw

Lives inside him still

It's so hard to be gentle and warm

The years passed by and now

He has granddaughters

Chorus

Oh so you look at me

From across the room

You're wearing your anguish again

Believe me, I know the feeling

It sucks you into the jaws of anger

Oh, so dig a little more deeply, my love

All we have is the very moment

And I don't want to do what

His father and his father and his father did

I want to be here now

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see the peace in every eye

Chorus (2 times)

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see warmth in every eye

This song drives me nuts everytime I hear it. The tune isn't bad and Cole's voice is fine, but that lyric! It sounds like she wrote a dummy lyric and decide to leave it. "She had two babies. One was six months, one was three..."

Three what? Months? This woman has a three month gestation period? Of course, it's years! How silly of me! But since when is a three year old child considered a "baby"?

"In the war of '44..."

I don't think I've ever heard of World War II referred to as "the war of '44." It might be the "war of '38" (starting from Hitler's invasion of Poland) or even the "war of '41" (starting from the bombing of Pearl Harbor). But not "the war of '44"! Why 1944? Because of D-Day?

In the second verse, the guy "shows up all wet on the rainy front step wearing shrapnel in his skin." Not too bad. Nice imagary in that last bit. And we learn that "the war he fought lives inside him still." But then "the years pass by and now they have granddaughters." What the hell? How did we get from "shrapnel in his skin" to granddaughters? Didn't ANYTHING happen during the intervening years?

And then there's that horrible first line: "Open up your morning light and say a little prayer for I." (Shudder) I don't think I have to point out what's wrong with that line. I mean, "It Ain't Necessarily So" isn't grammatically correct either, but at least some people talk like that! I don't think I've ever heard "I" used in that way...

Edited June 11, 2008 by Alexander

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

When did Montana move south?

MG

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

The early fifties was absolutely CHOCK FULL of the most agonisingly twee song lyrics. And most of them were written by Bob Merrill. If there is one reason to account for Rock & Roll, it is Bob Merrill's songs.

MG

[Dan Gould]

Daddy was a cop

on the east side of Chicago

Back in the USA

Back in the bad old days

And no, Paper Lace doesn't get a pass because they were a British band and shouldn't be expected to know that the "east side of Chicago" is Lake Michigan.

[Big Al]

Worst lyric of all time is "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paul Cole:

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see the peace in every eye

She had two babies

One was six months one was three

In the war of '44

Every telephone ring

Every heartbeat stinging

When she thought it was God calling her

Oh would her son grow to know his father

CHORUS:

I don't want to wait

For our lives to be over

I want to know right now

What will it be

I don't want to wait

For our lives to be over

Will it be yes or will it be

Sorry

He showed up all wet

On the rainy front step

Wearing shrapnel in his skin

And the war he saw

Lives inside him still

It's so hard to be gentle and warm

The years passed by and now

He has granddaughters

Chorus

Oh so you look at me

From across the room

You're wearing your anguish again

Believe me, I know the feeling

It sucks you into the jaws of anger

Oh, so dig a little more deeply, my love

All we have is the very moment

And I don't want to do what

His father and his father and his father did

I want to be here now

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see the peace in every eye

Chorus (2 times)

So open up your morning light

And say a little prayer for I

You know that if we are to stay alive

And see warmth in every eye

This song drives me nuts everytime I hear it. The tune isn't bad and Cole's voice is fine, but that lyric! It sounds like she wrote a dummy lyric and decide to leave it. "She had two babies. One was six months, one was three..."

Three what? Months? This woman has a three month gestation period? Of course, it's years! How silly of me! But since when is a three year old child considered a "baby"?

"In the war of '44..."

I don't think I've ever heard of World War II referred to as "the war of '44." It might be the "war of '38" (starting from Hitler's invasion of Poland) or even the "war of '41" (starting from the bombing of Pearl Harbor). But not "the war of '44"! Why 1944? Because of D-Day?

In the second verse, the guy "shows up all wet on the rainy front step wearing shrapnel in his skin." Not too bad. Nice imagary in that last bit. And we learn that "the war he fought lives inside him still." But then "the years pass by and now they have granddaughters." What the hell? How did we get from "shrapnel in his skin" to granddaughters? Didn't ANYTHING happen during the intervening years?

And then there's that horrible first line: "Open up your morning light and say a little prayer for I." (Shudder) I don't think I have to point out what's wrong with that line. I mean, "It Ain't Necessarily So" isn't grammatically correct either, but at least some people talk like that! I don't think I've ever heard "I" used in that way...

Dude, you NEED to write volume 2 of The Worst Rock & Roll Records Ever Made!!!

I've always hated this song, because it's usually played at the supermarket when I'm there at 10:30 pm (usually followed by Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place on Earth"), and I've never even paid attention to the lyrics. I never realized this song was even worse than first imagined!

But then, what do you expect from a song that chosen as the theme song for "Dawson's Creek?" In fact, this song could easily be blamed for all of the "pity-poor-me" songs that were created for use on all of the WB teen soap operas that plagued the nineties!

[Big Al]

And don't even get me started on the lyrics of Steve Miller..... (not to mention the fact that every damn one of his singles is a rip-off of someone else's song). I was going to post some, but I got nauseous just reading them again, and didn't want to subject anyone to them.

[paul secor]

Lyrics that drive me crazy (but that a lot of others probably like):

I've been to Hollywood

I've been to Redwood

I crossed the ocean

for a heart of gold

I've been in my mind

it's such a fine line

that keeps me searchin'

for a heart of gold

and I'm gettin' old

edit - don't know if these are the correct lyrics, but whatever the correct ones are, they still suck.

Edited June 9, 2008 by paul secor

[Aggie87]

And don't even get me started on the lyrics of Steve Miller..... (not to mention the fact that every damn one of his singles is a rip-off of someone else's song). I was going to post some, but I got nauseous just reading them again, and didn't want to subject anyone to them.

But...but....but he speaks of the Pompetous of Love!

[Man with the Golden Arm]

And don't even get me started on the lyrics of Steve Miller..... (not to mention the fact that every damn one of his singles is a rip-off of someone else's song). I was going to post some, but I got nauseous just reading them again, and didn't want to subject anyone to them.

But...but....but he speaks of the Pompetous of Love!

not to mention that jungle love is driving me crayayayZ.

ta think the Joker was penned by Sidran.

[Larry Kart]

In another vein, a good number of lyrics by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. The worst I know of is "When Summer Turns to Snow," originally recorded I believe by Sergio Mendes back in the '60s. (I know it from a 2003 album "Love Locked Out" by talented singer-pianist Patti Wicks, who is utterly defeated by this piece of s---.) The f----er makes no sense, beginning with the damn title. This side of a Hollywood disaster movie or two, summer doesn't turn to snow, not without an intervening little season known as autumn. Unfortunately I can't find the lyric online, and I don't have the stomach to listen again and type it out.

[porcy62]

This thread reminds me that english isn't my mother language, that's why I loved so much rock/pop english music. I just didn't understand the words.

[paul secor]

This thread reminds me that english isn't my mother language, that's why I loved so much rock/pop english music. I just didn't understand the words.

I have the same feeling when I listen to Latin music - Cuban, U.S., Columbian, whatever. I know that I'm missing a lot, but sometimes I'm probably better off not knowing what the words are.

[Niko]

This thread reminds me that english isn't my mother language, that's why I loved so much rock/pop english music. I just didn't understand the words.

vivdly remember that moment when i first understood that the fact that i couldn't stand 95% of the german song lyrics i heard while i hardly had objections to english lyrics did not exclusively have the reason that the level of lyrics writing is higher in English... looking back i still have to laugh

[porcy62]

This thread reminds me that english isn't my mother language, that's why I loved so much rock/pop english music. I just didn't understand the words.

I have the same feeling when I listen to Latin music - Cuban, U.S., Columbian, whatever. I know that I'm missing a lot, but sometimes I'm probably better off not knowing what the words are.

Exactly. I am much more selective on italian songwriters, but in english... I just need a catchy tune or a guitar solo or a good riff and I am done.

[Noj]

The Eagles "Peaceful Easy Feeling"

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay,

against your skin, it's so brown

and I wanna sleep with you

in the desert tonight

with a billion stars all around

'cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the

ground

And I found out a long time ago

what a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go

and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

I get this feeling I may know you

as a lover and a friend

but this voice keeps whispering

in my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again

'cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

'cause I'm already standing...

on the ground

oooo, oooo

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Too many annoying lyrics. The whole fucking thing doesn't make any sense.

[Van Basten II]

Fortunately , i pay little attention to lyrics.

[Big Al]

As much as I love Hall & Oates, their lyrics have always been more than a little ridiculous. That's more than made up for in the vocal and musical arrangements.

[Van Basten II]

Shell only come out at night

The lean and hungry type

Nothing is new, Ive seen her here before

Watching and waiting

Shes sitting with you but her eyes are on the door

So many have paid to see

What you think youre getting for free

The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar

Moneys the matter

If youre in it for love you aint gonna get too far

Oh here she comes

Watch out boy shell chew you up

Oh here she comes

Shes a maneater

Oh here she comes

Watch out boy shell chew you up

Oh here she comes

Shes a maneater

I wouldnt if I were you

I know what she can do

Shes deadly man, and she could really rip your world apart

Mind over matter

The beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

Oh here she comes

Watch out boy shell chew you up

Oh here she comes

Shes a maneater

[Man with the Golden Arm]

The Eagles "Peaceful Easy Feeling"

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay,

against your skin, it's so brown

and I wanna sleep with you

in the desert tonight

with a billion stars all around

'cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the

ground

And I found out a long time ago

what a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go

and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

I get this feeling I may know you

as a lover and a friend

but this voice keeps whispering

in my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again

'cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

'cause I'm already standing...

on the ground

oooo, oooo

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Too many annoying lyrics. The whole fucking thing doesn't make any sense.

Dude! are you the Dude?

[Big Al]

Faith Hill can always be counted on for mind-numbingly bad songs, but this one is the piece de resistance (meaning, I try to resist this piece every time I hear it!):

It’s the way you love me

It’s a feeling like this

It’s centrifugal motion

It’s perpetual bliss

It’s that pivotal moment

It’s subliminal

This kiss, this kiss (It’s Criminal)

This kiss, this kiss

Repeat ad infinitum ad nauseaum, moving up a key with each successive repetition.

Damn! Now I've got that stupid-ass song stuck in my head.

[Big Al]

And then there's this little bit of brilliance by Sixpence None the Richer:

There she goes

There she goes again

Racing through my brain

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains

There she goes

There she goes again

Pulsing through my veins

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains

There she goes

There she goes again

Racing through my brain

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains

There she goes

There she goes again

She calls my name,

Pulls my train

No one else could heal my pain

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains

There she goes

There she goes again

Chasing down my lane

And I just can't contain

This feeling that remains

There she goes

There she goes

There she goes

I played that for my son once; his comment was "That's not a song; that's a circle!"

[Dan Gould]

Faith Hill can always be counted on for mind-numbingly bad songs, but this one is the piece de resistance (meaning, I try to resist this piece every time I hear it!):

It’s the way you love me

It’s a feeling like this

It’s centrifugal motion

It’s perpetual bliss

It’s that pivotal moment

It’s subliminal

This kiss, this kiss (It’s Criminal)

This kiss, this kiss

Repeat ad infinitum ad nauseaum, moving up a key with each successive repetition.

Damn! Now I've got that stupid-ass song stuck in my head.

And you don't even point out the most annoying thing about those lyrics:

Centrifugal motion is what keeps two bodies rotating around each other, like the Earth and the moon. Do you want your baby always at the same distance away from you?

Centripetal motion brings bodies together, the direction you might want if her kisses are that good.

[Dan Gould]

Jon,

I don't get the annoyance with "Peaceful Easy Feeling" - the lyrics aren't stupid or nonsensical and the tune has those classic Eagles harmonies. I can listen to that one far more than some of their bigger '70s hits.

But of course, YMMV.

[Noj]

Dan, here's my analysis:

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay,

against your skin, it's so brown

and I wanna sleep with you

in the desert tonight

with a billion stars all around

'cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the

ground

How does "already standing on the ground" make him know she "won't let him down?"

And I found out a long time ago

what a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go

Sweet. So, that pretty much cancelled itself out.

and I gotta peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

There he goes, "standing on the ground" again.

I get this feeling I may know you

as a lover and a friend

but this voice keeps whispering

in my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again

So much for the "peaceful, easy feeling." Dude only has "this feeling" that he knows the girl as a "lover and a friend," and he's hearing voices that she's hitting the road!

'cause I get a peaceful, easy feeling

and I know you won't let me down

'cause I'm already standing on the ground

'cause I'm already standing...

on the ground

oooo, oooo

But, we're right back to the "peaceful, easy feeling" and knowing she won't let him down because of that all-solving fact that he is upright on the earth.

The Dude and I aren't entirely on the same page. I sort of like the Eagles, but ever since seeing The Big Lebowski I started thinking about it and the lyrics annoy me for the above reasons.

Edited June 9, 2008 by Noj