In case you didn't know, Alec Baldwin is a worthless P.O.S.

[7/4]

And your relationships with your children are.................

We've all seen Dan in action.

Seriously folks, this was on AOL Entertainment.

Edited April 21, 2007 by 7/4

[Soulstation1]

blah blah blah.......

to replay this message......

[JSngry]

The language is a bit intense, as is the vibe, but I'd be telling a lie if I said that I can't understand the at least theoretical possibility of this being an honest & understandable reaction to a very real situation. Add the divorce & the possibility/probablity that the kid has been being used as a tool in it, and you got the ingredients for all sorts of ugliness.

Alec Baldwin may well indeed be a worthless P.O.S., but it's going to take more than getting really pissed at your daughter disrespecting you to make the case. Anybody who's been there knows that it - all of it - can happen at various levels of intensity. Kids begin to test their limits and eventually try to break them, and a lot of times they are totally self-centered about doing it, and oblivious, even unconcerned. to anybody else's feelings in the process. It's all about them, doncha' know. They'll give you a FUCK YOU vibe in a minute (or less), and mean every bit of it, at least at that moment. Sometimes a parent can roll with it, but sometimes...

Doesn't make it "right" but it sure makes it "normal enough", for better or worse.

If you haven't been there, you don't know how fucked up shit can get sometimes. I've been through it with my parents and with my kids. It's never been quite this intense, but... In the end, the love's been there, and it's all worked out over time. But it's hell until it does.

What I think is really fucked up is leaking this to the media. Once again using the child as a tool, and a public one, no less. That is all kinds of wrong.

[rostasi]

As usual, Jim's the sane voice of reason.

[7/4]

What I think is really fucked up is leaking this to the media. Once again using the child as a tool, and a public one, no less. That is all kinds of wrong.

[robviti]

i'm trying to think what i'd do if this family ere referred to me for therapy after this incident. i probably wouldn't see them altogether given the amount of pain and hostility between them.

first, i'd help the child deal with her experience of the event (i.e., hurt, fear, anger).

i'd meet with dad next. "what were you thinking (irrational thoughts)? what were you feeling (anger, rejection, hurt)? do you think your actions expressed your true feelings (rejection, hurt)? what are some other ways you might respond in the future when you're feeling this way?"

then it's mom's turn. "what were you trying to accomplish by leaking this private conversation to the public? what impact do you think it has had on your child?" "what's a better way of responding when you're in this kind of situation?"

after that, i'd have separate meetings with father and daughter and with mother and daughter, so each parent can take responsibility for their part in the fiasco. this helps the child see how her actions may also have played a role, while stressing that nothing excuses a parent from being abusive.

then on to the fun part. if both parents really love their child, they'll participate in some couples counseling. the goal is not to reunite them, but to get them to stop putting their daughter in the middle of their fights.

finally, i'd like to go after all those people who are capitalizing on a horrible family situation to forward their own agenda. admittedly, this phase of treatment would be less freudian and more, how should i say, moe-ian (line them all up and slap them stooge-style). mr. berigan, please step forward.

whew, i'm tired. time for me to lie on the couch (and nap).

[Big Al]

i'm trying to think what i'd do if this family ere referred to me for therapy after this incident. i probably wouldn't see them altogether given the amount of pain and hostility between them.

first, i'd help the child deal with her experience of the event (i.e., hurt, fear, anger).

i'd meet with dad next. "what were you thinking (irrational thoughts)? what were you feeling (anger, rejection, hurt)? do you think your actions expressed your true feelings (rejection, hurt)? what are some other ways you might respond in the future when you're feeling this way?"

then it's mom's turn. "what were you trying to accomplish by leaking this private conversation to the public? what impact do you think it has had on your child?" "what's a better way of responding when you're in this kind of situation?"

after that, i'd have separate meetings with father and daughter and with mother and daughter, so each parent can take responsibility for their part in the fiasco. this helps the child see how her actions may also have played a role, while stressing that nothing excuses a parent from being abusive.

then on to the fun part. if both parents really love their child, they'll participate in some couples counseling. the goal is not to reunite them, but to get them to stop putting their daughter in the middle of their fights.

finally, i'd like to go after all those people who are capitalizing on a horrible family situation to forward their own agenda. admittedly, this phase of treatment would be less freudian and more, how should i say, moe-ian (line them all up and slap them stooge-style). mr. berigan, please step forward.

whew, i'm tired. time for me to lie on the couch (and nap).

That's certainly a lot more rational than my solution: put the parents on an island away from civilization, whichever one is left standing gets thrown to the sharks while their daughter attempts to live a normal life outside of the public eye.

Maybe Dakota Fanning's parents could adopt her.

[Big Al]

Oh yeah, and last time I checked, Baldwin was/is a worthless POS before all this happened. So is Kim Basinger. This ain't news. Isn't there a war going on somewhere?

Still, on the other hand, I've raised a daughter, who is now 20. We love each other very much. But we also had our knock-down drag-outs as she was growing up. The differences being a) we never resorted to name-calling, b) I'm not a multi-million-dollar actor who's every actions are in the public eye, and c) I'm still happily married to her mother. In any event, while Baldwin's actions in this action are inexcusable, they're hardly different than any other exasperated-father/petulant-teenager argument.

Like Jim said, the sick part of this was Basinger's decision to make this public. Who's the worse parent here?

Edited April 21, 2007 by Big Al

[catesta]

As I understand, Baldwin had a "standing appointment" to call his daughter and this was (at least) the second time in a row she "stiffed" him. Not excusing his behavior, just adding some context.

Yeah I heard him talking about that during a radio interview a few months back.

Baldwin has a history of issues with his temper and a bad divorce. He may have approached this the wrong way but and it may even be inexcusable, but I can't fault the guy for getting pissed. I have no children but I my lady has two teens. What Baldwin said wasn't shit by comparison and I know they deserve it.

And JS is correct, putting this all out in the public does not make anything better, we may very well be missing big parts of the story.

[Jazzmoose]

...we may very well be missing big parts of the story.

Be fine with me if we missed all of the story. Though I find the defenses some have offered here a bit disturbing...

[Dan Gould]

b) I'm not a multi-million-dollar actor who's every actions are in the public eye,

I think the key isn't the actions in the public eye, its the public-fed ego that leads him to think that his time is so precious and he is "screwed" by not connecting with his daughter at the appointed time.

Like Jim said, the sick part of this was Basinger's decision to make this public. Who's the worse parent here?

Has anyone said that this was specifically leaked to the public by Basinger? Or was it submitted to the court as evidence of his being unworthy of having custody of the child, and it became public because its a court document? Big difference, imo. If Basinger was putting it out there to make Baldwin look bad in the public eye, as opposed to looking bad in front of the Judge, then she's a horrible person. But it becoming public because of a public right of access to court proceedings is only a reflection of the screwed up culture of celebrity.

[Jim Alfredson]

Good thing we can all make snap judgements about people we've never met, much less talked to!

[Jim R]

I know of Baldwin the actor (and have enjoyed his comedic side, fwiw), but I almost never pay any attention to Hollywood gossip and such. I'm also not into politics. I've seen him interviewed as well, and he seems like a nice (and relatively normal) enough guy. In other words, I bring no biases to this discussion. I'm not here to judge the guy. BUT, Imho, the actual content of the tirade is over the top. I have a 19 year-old daughter, and I've certainly raised my voice at her a few times (only a few, I'm proud to say), but using that kind of language and "going on the attack" like that- especially to a pre-teen- is beyond reasonable, I'd say. In other words, it's flat out unacceptable, whether it was made public or kept private. I'm sure she probably "had it coming" in some way, but no kid deserves it to this degree. So, although I agree with most of Jim Sangrey's words, I can't quite concur with the "normal enough" comment. If that's idealistic in today's world, then so be it, but I believe that verbal abuse can do as much or more damage as physical abuse. Call me old school, but speaking of "today's world", I just have to hold on to the opinion that everything is too much "in your face" these days. We can all aim higher in terms of controlling ourselves.

All that said, I'd much prefer that things like this wouldn't become public (although if that's what it takes for people to get help, then I suppose it may be a blessing).

[JSngry]

Glad to hear that you & your daughter never got to that point. Not all parent/child relationships go that smoothly, even the better ones. Count your blessings.

Seriously.

[Jim R]

I hear ya. There's also the matter of frequency, in addition to intensity. I said I'd raised my voice (and I mean like Baldwin in terms of volume) only a few times, but that doesn't mean I'm suggesting that we're the Ozzie Nelson family over here. I guess what I'm trying to emphasize (and again, I know it's somewhat idealistic, especially in the current climate/culture) is that even if a relationship is rocky and confrontations are frequent, people need to at least keep in mind that losing control to the point of unleashing potentially harmful verbal abuse is something that can and should be avoided at all costs. Making up is wonderful and all that, but once it's out, it's out, and serious regret (and a later need for therapy) may be the result. I've made plenty of mistakes as a parent and otherwise, so I'm not trying to preach to anybody... I just wanted to voice this opinion and agree with those who think it's just plain unacceptable to talk to a child like that.

[Aggie87]

He was good in Glengarry Glen Ross too.

[Noj]

Alec Baldwin might be a bad parent, but the media has no class. This has no place being made public, imo.

[GA Russell]

...anyone care to guess how much play this woulda gotten is Balwin was a "pro-life" (sic) activist?

My guess is even more.

[Big Al]

b) I'm not a multi-million-dollar actor who's every actions are in the public eye,

I think the key isn't the actions in the public eye, its the public-fed ego that leads him to think that his time is so precious and he is "screwed" by not connecting with his daughter at the appointed time.

Like Jim said, the sick part of this was Basinger's decision to make this public. Who's the worse parent here?

Has anyone said that this was specifically leaked to the public by Basinger? Or was it submitted to the court as evidence of his being unworthy of having custody of the child, and it became public because its a court document? Big difference, imo. If Basinger was putting it out there to make Baldwin look bad in the public eye, as opposed to looking bad in front of the Judge, then she's a horrible person. But it becoming public because of a public right of access to court proceedings is only a reflection of the screwed up culture of celebrity.

Agreed, especially that last sentence.

[chris olivarez]

Alec Baldwin might be a bad parent, but the media has no class. This has no place being made public, imo.

You mean you want them to go out and get real news!!! Tsk! Tsk! I also agree with Jim's assesment about making snap judgements.