People who have to be late

[Soul Stream]

I have two people in my life who's chronic and habitual lateness are really beginning to piss me off. I've known them both for years, but now my time is so scheduled that them being late all the time is really fucking up my life at times..

The first person is the mom of one of my daughter's friends. Our two girls do a lot of activities together, and this lady cannot EVER be anything but late. Rushing her ass off, freaking out and screwing everything up.

The other is a musician friend who I at times do gigs with. He always insists on getting together before a gig (which isn't needed imho for the most part.) But he'll schedule to come over, say at 4 p.m., call me no less than 5-10 times thoughout the day, and then start updating me on the half hour of why he's running an hour to two hours late.

I've about had it with both of these people and am about to say so to them both....

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

Don't go to Africa.

MG

[Scott Dolan]

[Jazzmoose]

I can relate. I'm one of those people who tries to show up ten to fifteen minutes early, so it's really galling when someone is consistently late. But I've quit letting it get my goat; I just add the appropriate amount of time to when they say they'll be there. And if it turns out they have to wait, well, tough shit.

[Scott Dolan]

I'm almost always 5-10 minutes late. Never any more than that.

[DTMX]

The guy I work for literally cannot judge time and is only dimly aware of it if there is some type of ultimatum involved (he has learned that airplanes will not wait for him). I handle it by telling him MY schedule and then keeping it regardless of how it puts him out. A couple of years ago, we had an after-work dinner for a bunch of former co-workers. We met at a restaurant 1 mile from his office (where I also work). The dinner was scheduled for 6PM. He didn't show. We ate, hung out, then went outside to the parking lot to say our goodbyes. He rolls up about 8:30, comes over and joins the group. After 10 minutes or so, he says "Who are we waiting for? I'm starving." He thought we were waiting to go in. We left. He went home hungry.

Sad but true: his doctors and dentist have banned him from making appointments because he never shows up for them. His wife and kid can make appointments, but not him. If he wants to be seen, he has to show up at the office and wait until there is an opening. They won't hold anything for him.

[ejp626]

I used to be very, very good about being on time, but I have definitely slipped this year, though still I am rarely more than 10 minutes late. I think it is a combination of trying to do a few too many things and still trying to adjust to the CTA, which is definitely worse service than it used to be. I figure I should be re-adjusted by May or June.

[Soul Stream]

There are some people I've known for years that just have to be late everytime....usually 10 minutes or 15 minutes. To somebody like myself who has a schedule that has to run like clockwork at certain times of the day, it's a major, major, major problem when I have to leave the house and the lady picking up my daughter isn't there and I have to take my son to his soccer practice, ect. Everyday it's the same old shit..."Oh, I'm running late..." Yeah, no shit like every other fucking day.

[Scott Dolan]

So lay down the law with them. If they don't like it, they can piss off.

It's simply rude for them to continue to make your schedule theirs.

[Soul Stream]

So lay down the law with them. If they don't like it, they can piss off.

It's simply rude for them to continue to make your schedule theirs.

I did lay it down for my friend today and the next time schoolmom does her running late routine, I think I'll put an end to the carpool.

[ejp626]

There are some people I've known for years that just have to be late everytime....usually 10 minutes or 15 minutes. To somebody like myself who has a schedule that has to run like clockwork at certain times of the day, it's a major, major, major problem ...

And yet life is full of random stuff that prevent schedules from running like clockwork. Sure, it sounds like your acquaintences are always running late and that is a major headache, but at the same time I've learned lately that expecting a tight schedule to work is unrealistic and if I'm going to get that bent out of shape over it, I need to drop something.

[J Larsen]

I'm late 90% of the time, but it is almost always because of work...

[kenny weir]

There are some people I've known for years that just have to be late everytime....usually 10 minutes or 15 minutes. To somebody like myself who has a schedule that has to run like clockwork at certain times of the day, it's a major, major, major problem ...

And yet life is full of random stuff that prevent schedules from running like clockwork. Sure, it sounds like your acquaintences are always running late and that is a major headache, but at the same time I've learned lately that expecting a tight schedule to work is unrealistic and if I'm going to get that bent out of shape over it, I need to drop something.

Yet this is about more than "random stuff". I, too, have people in my life for whom being late is a necessity. There's something in their makeup that simply requires them to always be under that sort of pressure. It's a kind of sickness, I think.

In my life I have never run late for a plane. My ex has missed half her flights. Yes, probably a part of the reason she IS my ex.

Thnakfully, now I am older I am being a little wiser and smarter about dealing with this - if nothing else!

[Quincy]

My sister has a friend who is runs so late, that when this person is invited to parties she gets an invite for 7 PM while everybody else gets it for 8:30. The chronically late person still arrives late, just fashionably so. So you might want to try that trick with the troublesome late-comers.

I tend to be a few minutes early, even if I try not to be. But once in grad school I overslept for a meeting (first one at that) with one of my profs. I ran all the way (20 minutes late), was panting when I got to his door and he was finishing up with another student. I apologized profusely and he looked at me, threw up his hands and said "What is time?" He didn't mind in the least and we chatted for 20 minutes or so, very little of the time having to do with my project.

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

I often wonder if the chronic 'latey' types are also the ones out there moaning & groaning the loudest about how they were inconvenienced because the utility workers weren't there in a timely fashion when there was a power interruption......or the cable guy didn't make the previously scheduled 2:00-4:00 pm repair call, etc...?

[connoisseur series500]

Sad but true: his doctors and dentist have banned him from making appointments because he never shows up for them.

Ironic indeed!

[clifford_thornton]

Well, count me among the habitually, inexcusably, always late!

[kenny weir]

Well, count me among the habitually, inexcusably, always late!

So what's your excuse? Oh, wait ...

[Soul Stream]

The "late" thing to me is a...."look at me...I'm important..you're not, and aren't I cute" thing. It's childish and tiresome. Being a musician, I know the musician schedule and act accordingly...that is...nobody's gonna show up until 30 minutes after you've said so (if it's a rehearsal...paid gigs are different...the better the bread, the more people seem to show up on time.)

But in everyday life, I've got things that HAVE to be at on time more or less. If I'm paying good money for a gymnastics class for my daughter and she misses 1/4 of her class every week because the pickup mom is habitually late...that's money down the drain for me. I don't work my ass of in bars so some beotch mom can be late and waste my money. I pick her kid up on time, she can do the same for me.

A word to those on the board who admit to always being late.... Don't be...it's really a drag for everyone else and nobody thinks it's cute anymore. That's just the honest truth from those afraid or too nice to tell you so.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

The affluence of our society is based on the clock. Timekeeping is part of the payment for our standard of living; because it directly causes stress - in you who are forced to wait for someone late as much as in someone who's forced to rush too many things to meet a deadline - and stress kills people.

Is the affluence worth the price?

MG

[Epithet]

The "late" thing to me is a...."look at me...I'm important..you're not, and aren't I cute" thing. It's childish and tiresome.

That's good; I was worried that they thought me merely an incompetent doofus.

[ejp626]

While I agree with much of what Soul Stream is saying, particularly this being a subtle way of saying their lives are more important than yours, I still believe there are many things out of people's control. I routinely stay 20-30 minutes longer than I want to/expect at work because of things that get dropped on my lap late in the day (when supervisors say their priorities are greater than yours, you don't have much choice but to accept it). I'm also working on a project with European team members, so I am waking up at 5 am to be able to interact with them (and I'm about to sign off to handle some new crisis). For me, it really is trying to fit the 10 lbs of work into a 5 lb bag of life, and it does mean that things get shuffled all the time and I am late more than I would like to be. I think that is just the way it is for most corporate drones in downsized USA.

[Stereojack]

We all have reasons why we occasionally are unable to be on time, but I think this thread is about people who are habitually, chronically late, and not for any good reason. I've known a number of people like this, and I learned to never plan activities with them, especially if it involved meeting somewhere.

[andybleaden]

Absobleedinlutley

I/we have the same hassle with people who just don't not give a hoot for any one else but them

The world revolves around them

Period

Mind you I also see the same woman run her kid to school (poor sod!) every time i walk to school

Why not stick the alarm on 5 mins early

I mean she looks stressed already and the day is only beginning...he never gets to chat on the way ...all you can hear is "hurry up"

BUY

A

CLOCK!

Just in your own personal life it would be so much nicer for yer chums

In a professional capacity...people just laugh at you

On another note I used to work with a guy who was soooooooo to the minute that I used to think he would get spooked easy so I used to make sure I was always (ALWAYS) early at a rendevous....

Sure enough ..even had him turning up 20 mins early once.....to see me stood grinning waiting for him...we had a beer and laugh about it and went back to normal...I always let him be first naturally

[paul secor]

The affluence of our society is based on the clock. Timekeeping is part of the payment for our standard of living; because it directly causes stress - in you who are forced to wait for someone late as much as in someone who's forced to rush too many things to meet a deadline - and stress kills people.

Is the affluence worth the price?

MG

Well said. There's a bigger picture than just folks being late or being on time.