Who is Jack Schitt?

[Lazaro Vega]

(begin forewarded message)

HAD SOME TIME ON MY HANDS SO I LOOKED THIS UP SO YOU SHITKICKERS WOULD KNOW HOW YOU CAME TO BE. WHO IS JACK SCHITT???

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We

find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack

Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an

intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe

Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of

Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt

married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva

Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip

Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a

high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe

Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were

living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then

known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Lotta

Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition

named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were

inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens

brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the

newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He

recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct

them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

[7/4]

no schitt!

[couw]

Jack Schitt drank much at the Schitt-Happens nuptials and ended up loudly brawling sailor songs. The morning after, he was one hoarse Schitt.

[(BB)]

Not to be confused with the Shinola family.

[Jazzmoose]

Not to be confused with the Shinola family.

I can never tell the two apart...