GREATEST QUOTES????

[BERIGAN]

If not, still pretty good!

GREATEST QUOTES

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is." - Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart." - e e cummings (1894-1962)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people." - Lucille S. Harper

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." - Isaac Asimov

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." - Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair

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I can't decide if indecision is good or bad. -Causey

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. -Milton Berle

I am free of all prejudice; I hate everyone equally. -Fields

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you're exhausted and most of your balls are missing. -Allen

At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves. -Orwell

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"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." -Albert Einstein

"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty." - Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"In Germany, they first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me -- and by that time there was nobody left to speak up." -Martin Niemöller

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"First you have to teach a child to talk, then you have to teach it to be quiet." -Prochnow

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Dumas

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones

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"Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter." -Friedrich Nietzsche

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth." - Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." - Will Durant

"Beauty in things exist in the mind which contemplates them." -David Hume (1711-1776)

"If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

For the present, the comedy of existence has not yet"become conscious" of itself. For the present, We still live in the age of tradgedy, the age of moralities and religions. Friedrich Nietzsche

We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving. Friedrich Nietzsche

When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one. Friedrich Nietzsche

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"There are no facts, only interpretations." -Friedrich Nietzsche

[maren]

"I don't just inflict pain -- I inflict joy, too." George Steinbrenner (during one of Billy Martin's tenures as Yankees manager)

[Bright Moments]

these are great!

:bwallace2:

[RDK]

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. - G.B. Shaw

[MoGrubb]

"80 percent of the balls that don't reach the hole, don't go in." - on golf. ---Yogi Berra

Edited February 16, 2008 by MoGrubb

[Guest Bill Barton]

"You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy."

Eric Hoffer

"Why grab possessions like thieves, or divide them like socialists, when you can ignore them like wise men?"

Nancy Clifford Barney

"There is one advantage to having nothing; it never needs repair."

Frank A. Clark

_________________

"People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls."

C.G. Jung

"There are enough Zen centers. We need more Zen corners."

Thich Nhat Hanh

"Life is lived only once. And the less seriously the better."

Paul Bowles

"When people believe in boundaries they become part of them"

Don Cherry

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"There ain't no answer.

There ain't going to be any answer.

There never has been an answer.

That's the answer."

Gertrude Stein

"Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth."

Alan Watts

"The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."

Eric Hoffer

"Knowledge is knowing as little as possible."

Charles Bukowski

"We know too much and feel too little."

Bertrand Russell

___________________

"Believe those who are seeking the truth, doubt those who find it."

Andre Gide

"It's no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

J. Krishnamurti

"We see what we believe rather than believe what we see."

Alan Watts

"I think I think; therefore, I think I am."

Ambrose Bierce

"The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine."

J.B.S. Haldane

"Penetrating so many secrets, we come to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nonetheless, calmly licking its chops."

H.L. Mencken

"Think enough and you won't know anything."

Kenneth Patchen

___________________

"The map is not the territory."

Alfred Korzbybski

"Written music is to real music as a recipe is to to real food. You can't listen to music on a piece of paper and you can't eat a recipe."

Frank Zappa

________________

Difficulty Along the Way

Seeking Perfect Total Enlightenment

Is looking for a flashlight

When all you need the flashlight for

Is to find your flashlight.

Lew Welch

[jazzbo]

Favorites of mine:

Jean Giraudoux, "Only the mediocre are always at their best." (I heard this one from Jonathon Winters)

"He may be crazy, but he outranks you." Firesign Theater, "Everything You Know is Wrong"

"I can't say butterscotch I can only say scutterbotch" Arvin Selquist (my great uncle)

Edited February 17, 2008 by jazzbo