Worried about a friend -- fairly bad stroke (two?) at the age of 36

[Rooster_Ties]

Just got the word a few hours ago that a former co-worker of mine (from a previous job), friend of mine, and all-around one of the nicest people you'd ever want to know or work with --- came down with bacterial meningitis sometime in the last week (I didn't hear specifically when). He's in the hospital (intensive care), and I think he's in a coma. (The description I got second-hand was that he was brought into the emergency room and was "non-responsive" -- which sounds like a coma to me.)

The guy just got divorced about 6 or 8 months ago, and it was his ex-wife he gave me a call actually -- concerned that not many people will have heard about it. His parents were in town visiting him, thank god, and if they hadn't discovered him (in whatever state they discovered him), there's a 99% chance he'd be dead now (from what she told me, and from what I've read about bacterial meningitis, on-line, a few hours ago.

I'm gonna have some seemingly stupid questions for you all. It's literally been years since anyone I've known has been in the hospital for any kind of emergency situation. 20 years ago, you used to be able to call a hospital and they'd tell you some vague status of a patient. No details, but they'd at least tell you what their official "medical status" was, be it critical, or stable, and whether they were in Intensive Care, or had been moved out of ICU. But with patient confidentiality issues what they are in this day and age, I'm assuming they won't tell you squat anymore.

My only contact at this point is the guy's ex-wife, who I'm hoping will at least give me updates once a week, or if his status changes drastically. But I only have her e-mail (no phone number, at least not yet), and I don't know how in the loop she's gonna be even - day to day - since they're no longer together (though that is farily recent).

They've got 3 kids - one something like age 6 and a set of twins who are about 4 or 5. (The divorce was rather accrimonious, and it wasn't his idea.)

I'm really torn up inside about my friend. We only get together about 3 times a year anymore, but he's the only co-worker I've really ever kept up in all the years since I graduated college in '91.

Everything I've heard or read about bacterial meningitis is scary as hell. If it doesn't kill you, there's this to worry about if you survive...

What complications can result from bacterial meningitis?

Advanced bacterial meningitis can lead to brain damage, coma, and death. Survivors can suffer long-term complications, including hearing loss, mental retardation, paralysis, and seizures. (source)

I'd like* to circle up some friends of his to try and create some sort of support network for his parents, who are still in town (originally just for the holidays, they live on the east coast) - and likely will be for several weeks, even up to several months or more. *But the trouble is -- I really don't know ANY of his friends (I knew him from work), and he was a bit of a loner, especially since he was originally from the east coast, and didn't have any friends or family here in KC when he and his then wife moved here (to be near her family).

I swear I've read somewhere (recently) about some guy who got bacterial meningitis a couple years ago (a week or two before he was about to graduate from KU), and my wife and I seem to remember that although he survived, he was in the hospital for several months, and wasn't able to finally get home for nearly a full year from the initial onset.

Very worried about my friend -- a good soul, if ever there was one.

Edited January 28, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[chris olivarez]

I'm not a doctor but this sounds fairly serious to me. Call the hospital and find out what their visitation policy is. If it's ICU that might be limited to family members only but you should check and it could lead to an opportunity to get a status update on your friend. I'm thinking good thoughts.

[Rooster_Ties]

My friend's blog: http://upsidedownplane.blogspot.com/

The last post from therein...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy holidays to all my friends and family. I love you all.

I thank you all for your support, counsel and friendship this year. 2006 was challenging, with many big (and not so pretty) life changes that were out of my control. Separation. Divorce. Moving (twice). My entire life was turned on its head, shaken for spare change, and tossed on the curb. But I learned alot. And I appreciate what I do have: my girls, my friends, my family, my job. And I am hopeful that in 2007, fortune's pendulum will swing the other way.

I have always fashioned myself a self sufficient individualist. One who gives more than he receives. I am not used to being on the other side. However, in the midst of crisis, I realized something obvious: just as I garner great satisfaction helping others, it is satisfying for others to help me.

Blog he created for the funny things one of his daughters always says: http://daphnisms.blogspot.com/

Another blog he created, devoted to his 3 girls: http://mythreechickens.blogspot.com/

Edited January 1, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[Alexander]

Very sorry to hear about this. Bacterial Menengits is, indeed, scary as hell. Basically, what's happening is that your brain is swelling up. Very nasty. Every year, when I was in college, it seems like one or two kids would come down with it in the dorms. It always put a big scare into everybody. Nowadays, I think they have a vaccine for it. I remember that I had to get the shot when I was in grad school a couple of years ago.

I hope he recovers.

[connoisseur series500]

Here's hoping that he gets better, Rooster.

[Rooster_Ties]

Oh fuck, here's a very recent post from my friend's blog (here)...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Have you ever wondered about what music will play after you die, while you backstroke through the ether towards "the light"?

I think I have found that song. It is called "Oil of Angels" by the Cocteau Twins. I've had it on repeat on my music player for two (correction, seven) days straight. I simply cannot turn it off.

Absolutely beautiful song. Gorgeous. Here's a legit sample. For those of you who are not Lawful Good, you can probably get the full song using limewire or some such tool.

Edited January 1, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[Rooster_Ties]

Here's a wonderful post of his (again, from his public blog) on the subject of Music...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

It is said that music is a language everybody understands. I believe the sum of all music is far greater than the sum of all words in all languages. Music can not help you buy groceries. And music can not help you get out of trouble with a strict parent. But music can fill an empty space. And music can deliver a message of love. And music can encourage a lost soul.

For the infant, music is a comforting lullaby. For the child, music is a game and a teacher. For the adolescent, music is an escape and a relief. For the adult, music is an opportunity to slow down and an inspiration to speed up. For the elderly, music is a wave of memory and a long smile.

Music has taken its lumps lately. I'm not just talking about the RIAA. Or Barry Manilow. I'm talking about the industrial revolution. Before the machines took over, music played a greater part in our lives. That was a logical progression, seeing as how we were busy inventing things. But now, in the twilight of the era of scarcity, haven't we gotten to where music can make it's triumphant return to glory?

From what I hear, there is a popular custom on this planet where parents give their newborn children names. This is logical, especially when there is more than one kid in the house. At the same time, why not give the kid music? Imagine; upon birth, a special song is composed for the child. The song is sung at life milestones. Birthdays, catchetisms, mitsvahs, what have you. When a couple gets married, their songs combine into a medley or a remix. And at the end of life, the song stays with family and friends as long as the memory lives on.

If a folly such as this ever took hold, music could be restored to the place of high regard it deserves. And to boot, the lovably unemployed musician in your neighborhood could again make a living as a village bard.

I believe in music, because music is a generous friend, an ancient spirit, and a lovely notion.

Edited January 1, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[Rooster_Ties]

Heard secondhand from my friend's ex-wife that he's stable right now, but still sedated. No news yet on his prognosis otherwise.

[Rooster_Ties]

I heard earlier today that as of Monday, my friend was responsive (good), but he was only able to move his fingers and toes on one side of his body (bad).

Well, as of today -- my friend is now responding (eye blinking and such, he has a breathing tube down his throat, and can't talk), and best of all...

He is able to move his hands/fingers/toes -- on BOTH sides of his body.

From an e-mail I got from a co-worker of his...

They haven't completely lifted the sedation, and with the breathing tube and all, he's not talking yet so there still isn't any definitive news regarding how fully he'll [be able to] recouperate, but his Dad did get reassurance from the doctors that it was not out of the question to hope that there would not be any lasting damage. He will likely have a period of time in a convalescent/rehabilitation facility following his days in the hospital....but everyone is "guardedly optimistic" at this point. :-)

Hoping for the best -- but all in all, this is pretty good news.

Edited January 3, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[sheldonm]

[7/4]

sounds like good news, nobody should be sick.

[BERIGAN]

Great news!

[jazzbo]

FANTASTIC!

[chris olivarez]

Still thinking good thoughts!!!!!

[Dan Gould]

[Rooster_Ties]

UPDATE -- as of Jan. 27th.

I didn't know anything about my friend's condition for well over a week (I've not always in the loop about updates about his condition, or else they've been few and far between), but I got the go-ahead about his condition, and visited him twice Monday, and the news is mixed.

The good news is that he DIDN'T have bacterial meningitis -- which can really fuck you up (and usually does, especially if not discovered quickly -- that is, if it doesn't kill you).

BUT, he did appear (as best the doctors can tell) to have had a pretty bad stroke. (I say "pretty bad" -- but I really don't know how else to characterize it -- the event was anything but non-significant. But I'm sure there are worse strokes too.) Also, he's only 36 years old (give or take a year).

It may have been two strokes, actually, the second happening about 7 to 10 days after the first one (after my last update post up above). I'm not completely clear on the chronology of things (and not being a member of the family - it's not that important that I understand every detail of his condition, or how he got where he is).

Currently he has near total paralysis on his left side (and he's left-handed too). When I last visited him the night before last, he said he only had about 10% movement in his left hand, and maybe 15% in his left leg.

The good news, of course, is that there appears not to be much brain damage, if any. His speech has been a bit affected by the stroke, but I thought his speech was rather good, all in all. He's not difficult to understand, and I think I could probably clearly understand almost everything he says if I were talking on the phone with him.

His outlook is pretty good (all in all), and his sense of humor is well intact. His cognitive abilities appear to be largely unaffected -- though with some sluggishness, and difficulty in thinking of just what he wants to say at times, or finding the words he's looking for. (That may also be an affect of the drugs they have him on too, to some extent.)

Anybody know of any good books for and/or about stroke victims?? Their recovery?? Specifically about younger stroke victims??

His road to recovery will be long -- probably the better part of a year (my wild guess), and it's hard to know how much mobility he'll get back on his left side.

I'm thrilled that there wasn't any or much brain damage, and my dear friend is "all there" - if you know what I mean. But I know it's gonna be a long, long road to recovery for him -- and recovery may not be complete.

I'm planning to visit him at least weekly, and twice a week when I can fit it in. He's always been a really sweet and wonderful person, and he needs his friends now more than ever. (And he said the last time I saw him Friday night, that having friends around is really helping push him to communicate, and interact with a world that's otherwise been pretty much gone for him since the first of the year.)

Don't know how to wrap this up. I've probably said too much, but since I started this thread - I figured I'd better update things.

Edited January 28, 2007 by Rooster_Ties

[alocispepraluger102]

when he's on the road to recovery, steer him to this forum. we'll get him all the support, moral and otherwise, he can handle.

[alocispepraluger102]

UPDATE -- as of Jan. 27th.

I didn't know anything about my friend's condition for well over a week (I've not always in the loop about updates about his condition, or else they've been few and far between), but I got the go-ahead about his condition, and visited him twice Monday, and the news is mixed.

The good news is that he DIDN'T have bacterial meningitis -- which can really fuck you up (and usually does, especially if not discovered quickly -- that is, if it doesn't kill you).

BUT, he did appear (as best the doctors can tell) to have had a pretty bad stroke. (I say "pretty bad" -- but I really don't know how else to characterize it -- the event was anything but non-significant. But I'm sure there are worse strokes too.) Also, he's only 36 years old (give or take a year).

It may have been two strokes, actually, the second happening about 7 to 10 days after the first one (after my last update post up above). I'm not completely clear on the chronology of things (and not being a member of the family - it's not that important that I understand every detail of his condition, or how he got where he is).

Currently he has near total paralysis on his left side (and he's left-handed too). When I last visited him the night before last, he said he only had about 10% movement in his left hand, and maybe 15% in his left leg.

The good news, of course, is that there appears not to be much brain damage, if any. His speech has been a bit affected by the stroke, but I thought his speech was rather good, all in all. He's not difficult to understand, and I think I could probably clearly understand almost everything he says if I were talking on the phone with him.

His outlook is pretty good (all in all), and his sense of humor is well intact. His cognitive abilities appear to be largely unaffected -- though with some sluggishness, and difficulty in thinking of just what he wants to say at times, or finding the words he's looking for. (That may also be an affect of the drugs they have him on too, to some extent.)

Anybody know of any good books for and/or about stroke victims?? Their recovery?? Specifically about younger stroke victims??

His road to recovery will be long -- probably the better part of a year (my wild guess), and it's hard to know how much mobility he'll get back on his left side.

I'm thrilled that there wasn't any or much brain damage, and my dear friend is "all there" - if you know what I mean. But I know it's gonna be a long, long road to recovery for him -- and recovery may not be complete.

I'm planning to visit him at least weekly, and twice a week when I can fit it in. He's always been a really sweet and wonderful person, and he needs his friends now more than ever. (And he said the last time I saw him Friday night, that having friends around is really helping push him to communicate, and interact with a world that's otherwise been pretty much gone for him since the first of the year.)

Don't know how to wrap this up. I've probably said too much, but since I started this thread - I figured I'd better update things.

i heard from a man today who, 2 years ago, was divorced and had a stroke paralyzing the left side of his body with his speech badly impaired.

his doctor ordered him for 2 months to do nothing but practice vowels. he has since written a book and does public speaking. you would never know about his stroke if he didnt tell you.