Jim Alfredson Posted September 3, 2003 Report Share Posted September 3, 2003 Berigan, tell your mother how much you love her everyday. Let her know that she can beat this thing and that can all help and support her. I lost my mom to cancer in 1997. She was diagnosed on October 31st. She died Novermber 27th. Just reading your post caused tears to well up in my eyes. I hope the doctors can stop this now. So much time wasted for no reason. She can beat this thing. Be with her as much as you can. Be brave, be strong... she can beat this thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted September 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2003 Berigan, tell your mother how much you love her everyday. Let her know that she can beat this thing and that can all help and support her. I lost my mom to cancer in 1997. She was diagnosed on October 31st. She died Novermber 27th. Just reading your post caused tears to well up in my eyes. I hope the doctors can stop this now. So much time wasted for no reason. She can beat this thing. Be with her as much as you can. Be brave, be strong... she can beat this thing. B3-er, thanks!!! I am so sorry about your Mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soul Stream Posted September 3, 2003 Report Share Posted September 3, 2003 Berigan, My father had a wrongful death at the hands of a hospital/doctor/nurse. We sued and won although the cap for such legal action in Texas is $1,000,000. They settled for around $800,000 which is basically unheard of without going to court. But with 5 brothers and sisters, mother, and the lawyer....in the end it didn't come out to a huge sum. And it was a draining, draining experience. So my point is this. Don't worry about a starting any kind of lawsuit at this point. It is not important now. No money is important now. Only your mom's health is important. Do not dwell on what's been done wrong right now. Get your mom well first. Lawsuits against doctors and hospitals are VERY, VERY, VERY hard to win. The laws are geared to protect doctors and hospitals for the most part. At least that was our experience. And when you try to sue doctors and hospitals the gloves are off. All the best to you your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEK Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 Berigan, I'm very glad that you've finally got an opportunity to fight this thing! About a possible lawsuit: after my first surgery, I was told that I had up to 18 months to live, 24 max. (Since then, my prognosis has never improved by much, but I'll take life in 3-to-6-month chunks; it certainly beats the alternative...) I was also told by several reputable sources, including a couple of doctors (which was quite unexpected), that I had strong legal claims of negligence, but I certainly did not want to spend all (or a sizable chunk of) my remaining time on the planet in court. After I had lived a few years more, I had the luxury for very occasional "what-ifs", but I've never regretted my initial decision. It also made a significant difference that I had superb medical insurance here in Michigan. The "health plans" that we had when we lived in Texas, for example, would have forced us into court to avoid going into massive debt. (Since then, I've been especially skeptical of motives and moves for "tort reform", btw.) I hope that your insurance is more than adequate. Even if it isn't, all your energies should now be focussed on your mother's treatment and, as much as is possible, her comfort too. Though I'm absolutely sure that your mother knows very well by now that you love her, I agree with b3-er that you can't tell her often enough. Getting through this kind of thing is quite episodic, sometimes minute-to-minute, and is often severely dislocating. Hope, for me, has been based on the ongoing connections with people who I know care about me and an ongoing assurance that all that can be done to help me is being done and will continue to be done. That has kept me going... Also I have always wanted to know the sober, unvarnished truth concerning my current condition, my prognosis, and my treatments and treatment options. (This desire for a steady stream of accurate information varies most from patient to patient and family to family. Many folks tend to be significantly more passive for a variety of reasons, good and bad, which must be respected, but some doctors apparently get too used to that.) Personally, if I could choose between a good bedside manner and realistic, timely assessments, I'd chose the latter. I've been fortunate enough, since I began receiving excellent care, that these two alternatives have not often been mutually exclusive. So Berigan, stay as strong, clear, and hopeful as you can. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted September 4, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 SEK/Steve, your story is amazing! It is great that you have proven the doctors wrong, again! It reminds me of hearing about how The rock musician Warren Zevon has just past the 1 year mark of his diagnosis of lung cancer, and was of course given just 3-6 months to live. His son made a very good point saying doctors have no right to say how long someone will live. There isn't really an up side to that, some patients no doubt go home to die after hearing that kind of news. I do see exactly where you(And Soul Stream) are coming from with using energy to fight a case that might be better used for fighting the Cancer. I have been less upset than I thought I would be with the doctor(s) negligence. I just want my Mom to get better! But, I also think society sometimes lets things "be" and does not press charges against known rapists, or fighting back if they are fired for unjust reasons, or, dragging a doctor into court who really needs to be. The main heart specialist should have taken the time to read the radiologists report, and if he failed my Mom, he has no doubt failed others, perhaps he is close to being pushed out of group he belongs to, and this could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. We'll see, down the road..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmitry Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 My best wishes and hope of complete recovery for your mother, Berigan! We're all anxious for her to recover. Tell her that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maren Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Hey Conrad -- PM function has been down for a while -- I tried to e-mail you at "bluenotehata@yahoo.com" but that didn't work! Continued best wishes to you and your family... maren777512@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son-of-a-Weizen Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Yo Conrad, Just saw this thread and want to pass along my best wishes. Btw, I had the same difficulty as Maren awhile back, but I was using some 'ziggy _ ? _' address that I've since misplaced. Shoot me a note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted September 11, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2003 Hey Conrad -- PM function has been down for a while -- I tried to e-mail you at "bluenotehata@yahoo.com" but that didn't work! Continued best wishes to you and your family... maren777512@yahoo.com Sorry , bluenotehata@yahoo.com was my idea of a joke when I first joined the board in March...white hot hate of Blue note back then... I got your PM's a few times! It is a board prob as you most likely know. Thanks! I had a rough day(not as rough as hers) with Mom as she had a port put in her heart to make Chemo easier on her...the "procedure" went well, but she had a fever of 101.4 just as she was about to be let go, so they made her stay, for hours! She was not a happy camper, she was at the hospital for 10 hours when she thought it would be 3-4 tops. She is supposed to start 2 different Chemos later today, but with a minor infection, we don't know if this will happen or not. Anyway, have been trying not to think about this and give myself a breather this evening/morn...will PM you later..... My email ziggyelman@excite.com should work, but let me know if it doesn't..... I use a fake name there, just cuz I am paranoid! And I get soooo very much junk email there, I don't care who sees knows this addy. I think every porn site in the world(and perhaps a few from Mars) sends email to it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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