2 year olds

[Jazzmoose]

We were supposed to give up napping?

[Jim Alfredson]

The cleaners are stored up in the broom closet, above even my wife's head. So I believe they are safe.

She is in daycare today, thankfully, and momma decided to stay home so we're enjoying some together-time for once. We're about to head to Ann Arbor to have lunch and pick up a vehicle I'm borrowing from a friend for our East Coast tour.

Thanks for all the advice. I know she's doing nothing abnormal and I hope I didn't come across as complaining. Yesterday was just a tough day and I needed to vent.

[Kevin Bresnahan]

Thanks for all the advice. I know she's doing nothing abnormal and I hope I didn't come across as complaining. Yesterday was just a tough day and I needed to vent.

Jim, enjoy these days. I miss my two-year old daughters!! I still love them as teenagers but they were so much fun when they were little and Daddy was their favorite play-toy. I loved giving them rides on my shoulders. I make a good horse.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

We were supposed to give up napping?

Only temporarily Jazzmoose. You can take it up again when you reach retirement. (Well, one of my former staff never did give it up. We could always find him in the office library, pretending to read something, if we really needed him.)

MG

[wigwise]

Jim, I feel your pain. My 2.5 year old pushes my buttons everyday. He throws things, hits, screams and breaks all kids of stuff. When I tell him not to do something, he looks me in the eye, say’s “NO” and does the opposite. He has whacked me in the face and knocked my glasses to the floor about 4 times in the last month. When he's nice and loving, he's the sweetest little boy in the world. Oh, how I cherish these moments.

My wife and I have tried many methods to discipline him and still have yet to find one that works more then once. He too is very clever, speaking three languages and knowing how to pick locks, open windows, doors, cabinets, the fridge, how to work my stereo system, DVD player, TV and getting into things we thought were secure.

My in-laws from Spain have been staying with us for the last two weeks and it has become apparent that he wants them to go. He kicks, taunts and talks back to them in Spanish (he normally speaks French and English with my wife and I). Thankfully they're patient people who are unaffected by his behavior. They will be here for another two weeks, so it should be interesting to see what happens.

[Jim Alfredson]

Jim is giggin' so I thought I use his name for a whlile. This is his wife, Alison. If Thursday was hard, today has been worse. After about 1 1/2 weeks without Zora having clean hair, I finally decided I would take control of the situation. Start the tub, let her put her toys in, get her body wet (no hair at this point), and soap her up and play a bit. All of it seemed to be working. So, I slowly start wetting her hair down with my hands and explain she needs shampoo and she is a big girl, etc. I probably don't even have to say that she went nuts. Flailing her body around, screaming, climbing out of the tub, standing and kicking her feet (not a good combination!). My biggest problem was that she would smirk and scream at the same time...like she was working it good. I said in every disciplinary voice I have to sit down, cut it out, be a good girl, and I am the mom so listen to me. Nothing worked and I felt the tension rising. I thought, how can I give her a time out when she is soaking wet? I'm not that cruel.

Uh oh, Jim comes in and we both start in on her. Of course we are doing it in a reasuring way like asking her what the problem is, is she scared or something, and all of that. By the way, you never want to hear Jim raise his voice. He'd never do anything, but his voice booms and I get a bit nervous. Sometimes that is what it takes. However, we were not winning this battle.

Then all of a sudden Zora exclaims she has to use the potty. Horray! Maybe this has been the problem...she has to go to the bathroom and everything in her mind is totally out of wack. She sits there for 10 minutes at least, wrapped in a towel, as we explain to her all the reasons she needs to get over the bath issue and be a big girl. She keeps yelling 'no' so Jim and I decide to take all of her toys out of her room. That is where we keep them all. With arm loads everything gets dumped on the living room floor. Just as we are almost finished, Zora comes running out, "Momma, Dadda, I went pee-pee on the potty!" She is so happy with herself and I couldn't believe it to be true. But damn it, it was. Now we are in a totally crappy situation. The daughter who has caused us so many problems with both of these issues has made a huge leap...right in the middle of punishing her. So, like any good parent, we praise her. She is thrilled, we are too, and I felt more conflicted than ever before. How do we let go of the wrong and celebrate the right n the same breath?

Honestly, within minutes I am crying out of sheer frustration. Jim is way late for a long gig commute because he is so intrenched in it all. His solution for the day: Give up and be happy. Try the bath again tomorrow. Fine. I severly edit the amount of toys I give back and put the remaining ones in the basement. Frankly, I had meaning to do this anyway because she had grown out of many - so I didn't feel bad and she didn't notice. About 1 hour goes by and I think we are doing pretty good and another bomb goes off. Like the guy said above, she refused to get dressed and bashed her head against my nose so hard I thought I was going to pass out. Man, what a crazy day.

I am alone now so-to-speak. She has cried so hard today that the nap thing happened sooner than I thought it would. I love her and I know we will get through it. I have just undergone Parenting 201!

Alison Alfredson

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

With us it was food! Our daughter wouldn't bloody well eat! We were going nuts! It's SO worrying!

But she survived to raise two little horrors of her own, who are both really nice, except sometimes.

MG

[Kevin Bresnahan]

I'll have to ask my sister Peggy about that hair thing. Her four year old has given her problems with that for years. I think they have it solved today, but I do remember seeing Grace looking like a rastafarian a few times before they got it worked out. If I get any pointers, I'll let you know.

FWIW, did you ever try a shower? Sometimes kids like doing things that Mommy & Daddy do. You could even get in there with her and give her a little tutorial.

Hey, be glad that she's at least letting you clean her up! Friends of ours had one daughter who wouldn't allow water on her anywhere. She stunk pretty bad all the time. It got to where we didn't want to visit their place. She reeked.

[JSngry]

On the hair/toilet thing, two possibilities spring to mind, and they're not necessarily mutually exclusive:

1} She saw that her actions were making you upset, so she decided to do something to make you happy.

2} She decided to use the toilet as a distraction/redirection away from the shampoo event.

Remember - kids this age are discovering their own power in general, and specifially/especially the power of their own independence. All they're experienceing from their perspective is the rush of raw power. They have no context as to what it all means until you provide it for them. That takes time, and that will drain you sometimes, but that's the gig. My spmpathies, best wishes, and congratulations, all as needed.

Do you have any idea about why she seems so uptight about shampooing? Did she have a bad experience at some point, like shampoo or water in the eyes? That "no more tears" stuff is true as far as it goes, but that's not nearly as far as they want you to believe...

Ways to make it fun - Has she watched you shampoo your hair? Has she seen the Tegrin guy? The Great Gazzoo? Speed Racer? Shampoo suds make for a great helmet, and helmets are fun!

If that fails, show her pictures of head lice...

Ok, I joke, but hopefully not so much as to obscure the point.

Live for today, but get enough rest for tomorrow.

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

I knew that that girl was gonna be serious trouble at least a year ago after I bought Jim's B&W bookshelf speakers and found 'Sid Vicious F'n Rocks!!!' scrawled in hot magenta crayon behind the grill.

[danasgoodstuff]

After reading this thread my normally sweet natured 4 yr old had a total meltdown the vnext morning, that'll learn me...

[medjuck]

I'm amazed that this thread has such a large response. i was telling my wife abouat it and she reminded me that 2 years olds often get hysterical and go stiff! you canlift them over a shoulder like a board. Our daughter only did it once, fortunately.

Jim and Alison, hang in there. They grow out of it. Before you know it she'll be a teenager. Arghhhhh!

[GA Russell]

Oh, and... Go Stamps Go! They started off like crap, but have been flying lately! You know they'll meet the 'Riders in the playoffs, and Burris is gonna burn them pretty badly. Those 'Rider fans REALLY have a hate-on for Burris, so it'll be a fun game to watch!

Saskatchewan Roughriders 30....Calgary Stampeders 21

Shane, what happened???

The Stamps had a 21-5 lead with a minute to go in the second quarter, and they never scored again.

This is the second straight year that the Stamps lost the Western semi-final at home. I can expect that the natives will be restless when discussing Burris in the offseason.

edit for typo

Edited November 6, 2006 by GA Russell

[Jim Alfredson]

What?

Anyway, since I went to Philly and came back, Zora has been a little angel. She's fully potty-trained, she goes to bed without nary a word, and she does (mostly) what I ask her to with a bit of complaining sometimes.

I don't know what my wife did, but it worked!

[Indestructible!]

Jim,

I guess you should make trips to Philly more often!

Seriously, I'm glad things are working out a bit better for you... time will take care of a lot of things, so hang in there!

Saskatchewan Roughriders 30....Calgary Stampeders 21

Shane, what happened???

The Stamps had a 21-5 lead with a minute to go in the second quarter, and they never scored again.

This is the second straight year that the Stamps lost the Western semi-final at home. I can expect that the natives will be restless when discussing Burris in the offseason.

edit for typo

GA,

Choke city (AGAIN) for the Stamps! Can't say I'm surprised at all by the result... It's not been a fun few weeks for the Calgary faithful, as the Stamps get bounced and the Flames are playing like crap (I should know... I've watched all their games on the Center Ice package so far this year).

But, let's face it... this is the CFL! It's a great league for surprises and upsets (the Esks won the Grey Cup last year... how the HELL did that happen???), and that's why it's such a great league to watch!

I am now officially cheering on the 'Riders... my dad's from Saskatchewan and is a die-hard 'Rider fan, so hopefully he'll have somthing good to cheer about in the coming weeks!

Cheers,

Shane

[Jim Alfredson]

Thought I'd bring this up again for another parental lesson in "not buying any nice stuff".

My wife and I have been looking for a nice bed frame since we started living together 5+ years ago. At first we had a full size bed, then moved up to a queen (a king cannot fit in our bedroom and frankly I like being close to my wife!)

We finally found a nice wooden headboard / footboard / sideboard set up in Northern Michigan this past winter that was ridiculously cheap ($600, brand new) so we splurged and bought it. It looks great in our bedroom.

A few weeks ago, while being Mr. Mom, I temporarily lost track of Zora and realized the house was very quiet. I called her name and she answered and I could tell she was in our room. No big deal. She likes to go in there and play with her stuffed animals on our bed.

I go in there and play with her, momma comes home, we have dinner, playtime, reading time, and eventually put her to bed. The next day we follow our routine and all is well.

Until suddenly we're in our bedroom again with Zora and I notice big scratches on the footboard of the bed. I get closer and realize they aren't just scratches, but teeth marks, a whole line of them. I ask Zora, "Did you do this?"

She nods.

"Why did you do this, Zora?"

"I'm a beaver!"

So that is her new thing lately. She pretends to be a certain animal (beaver, monkey, cat, etc.) and then misbehaves and tries to blame it on being that animal. The other day she was jumping all over the couch and then screamed in my wife's ear. Alison said, "Zora! Don't do that, that is very rude!" and Zora says, "But mom, I'm a monkey!"

The kid is crazy.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

She must be three now!

MG

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

My daughter used to lie on the floor in fronnt of the TV, with her feet on my LPs. You could move them slightly, if you pushed at the top, and so she'd lie there, pushing at them idly while watching TV. And after a while, I found that the sleeves of my early '60s GRANT GREEN LPs were badly scuffed - even Japanes albums like "Matador, "Oleo" and "Gooden's corner"! ARRRGGGHHH!

She was born in 1972, and those Japanese LPs didnt come out until late 1979, so she must have been 8 or 9. Just think what you have to look forwrd to, Jim!

MG

[(BB)]

How to handle records training started very early in our house. Saturday mornings it's usually just me and the kid, sometimes we will stop by my favorite vinyl source. My daughter know where the kids lp's are and can remove it from the sleeve to check for scratches. Once she finds a clean one that she is interested in I will set her up at the listening station. She may grow up to be a homicidal mass murder, but at least she will know how to handle a record.

[BruceH]

If she decides to be a cobra, look out!

[Man with the Golden Arm]

teeth marks, a whole line of them. I ask Zora, "Did you do this?"

She nods.

"Why did you do this, Zora?"

"I'm a beaver!"

CLASSIC!!!! oh man that is hilarious ... you're gonna have to print out this thread for her and read it to her prom guests.

[The Magnificent Goldberg]

teeth marks, a whole line of them. I ask Zora, "Did you do this?"

She nods.

"Why did you do this, Zora?"

"I'm a beaver!"

CLASSIC!!!! oh man that is hilarious ... you're gonna have to print out this thread for her and read it to her prom guests.

Read it to her boy friends - the ones you think are "unsuitable" when she's 14.

MG

[Noj]

teeth marks, a whole line of them. I ask Zora, "Did you do this?"

She nods.

"Why did you do this, Zora?"

"I'm a beaver!"

CLASSIC!!!! oh man that is hilarious ... you're gonna have to print out this thread for her and read it to her prom guests.

[bichos]

How to handle records training started very early in our house. Saturday mornings it's usually just me and the kid, sometimes we will stop by my favorite vinyl source. My daughter know where the kids lp's are and can remove it from the sleeve to check for scratches. Once she finds a clean one that she is interested in I will set her up at the listening station. She may grow up to be a homicidal mass murder, but at least she will know how to handle a record.

keep boppin´

marcel