Dave James Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Al, As we all know, there are only two kinds of baseball fans. Those who are fans of the Yankees and those who don't know it yet. I have in my hands a form that allows you to apply to become a fan of the Yankees. In order to do so, you must agree to sever any remaining ties with the Texas Rangers but, based upon your short and long term experiences as a Rangers fan, I wouldn't think this would be a problem. Now I must warn you, acceptance into the Yankee fraternity is not automatic. However, I do have some pull with the decision makers, so I think I can get you in. Just let me know if you're interested and I'll get the paperwork underway. Up over and out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 You have no idea how tempting that sounds.... except that I hate the Yankees! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Al, As we all know, there are only two kinds of baseball fans. Those who are fans of the Yankees and those who don't know it yet. I have in my hands a form that allows you to apply to become a fan of the Yankees. In order to do so, you must agree to sever any remaining ties with the Texas Rangers but, based upon your short and long term experiences as a Rangers fan, I wouldn't think this would be a problem. Now I must warn you, acceptance into the Yankee fraternity is not automatic. However, I do have some pull with the decision makers, so I think I can get you in. Just let me know if you're interested and I'll get the paperwork underway. Up over and out. Sample Questions From The Application: I believe that the NY Yankees are entitled to any player they desire. Agree____ Disagree _____ In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I believe that George Steinbrenner is the greatest owner in professional sports. Agree _____ Disagree ______ If the NY Yankees fail to win the World Series, I console myself with thoughts of world championships from the last millenium. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Red Sox Nation is filled with "Massholes" and that David Ortiz is a steroid user. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have never used steroids, because any testimony from the San Francisco Grand Jury was illegally obtained and has no probative value. Agree _____ Disagree _______ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sample Questions From The Application: In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I can tell you the Rangers answer to THAT one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris olivarez Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Dodgers now 11 in a row. Giants bitten by snakes. Goodspeak is bumming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris olivarez Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Dodgers now ten in a row. tonight Maddux vs BK Kim. That's the amazing thing about this game - they sucked coming out of the break, and here they are on a ten game winning streak. It is pretty amazing-now 11. I think the moves they made at least for now helped them. The one thing of course that streaks have in common is they end-perhaps tonight. Jeff Francis is pitching for the Rockies and if the Dodgers keep it going it will depend on which Derek Lowe takes the hill-as you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave James Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sample Questions From The Application: I believe that the NY Yankees are entitled to any player they desire. Agree____ Disagree _____ In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I believe that George Steinbrenner is the greatest owner in professional sports. Agree _____ Disagree ______ If the NY Yankees fail to win the World Series, I console myself with thoughts of world championships from the last millenium. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Red Sox Nation is filled with "Massholes" and that David Ortiz is a steroid user. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have never used steroids, because any testimony from the San Francisco Grand Jury was illegally obtained and has no probative value. Agree _____ Disagree _______ Dan, you sly dog. You already have the application. How did you get one? You must have some real clout. Of course, after the Sox last three games, I can understand how you might be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to get your hands on one of these. Let me know if you need any help. Oh and by the way, the answers to all the questions are "agree". Don't tell anyone I told you that. It will only hurt your chances. Up over and out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sample Questions From The Application: I believe that the NY Yankees are entitled to any player they desire. Agree____ Disagree _____ In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I believe that George Steinbrenner is the greatest owner in professional sports. Agree _____ Disagree ______ If the NY Yankees fail to win the World Series, I console myself with thoughts of world championships from the last millenium. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Red Sox Nation is filled with "Massholes" and that David Ortiz is a steroid user. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have never used steroids, because any testimony from the San Francisco Grand Jury was illegally obtained and has no probative value. Agree _____ Disagree _______ Dan, you sly dog. You already have the application. How did you get one? You must have some real clout. Of course, after the Sox last three games, I can understand how you might be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to get your hands on one of these. Let me know if you need any help. Oh and by the way, the answers to all the questions are "agree". Don't tell anyone I told you that. It will only hurt your chances. Up over and out. Aren't you endangering your own membership by giving out these answers? Well, I guess not: the sale of one's soul is, after all, a permanent non-reversible transaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave James Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Al, Yankee fans have no souls. Up over and out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Sample Questions From The Application: I believe that the NY Yankees are entitled to any player they desire. Agree____ Disagree _____ In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I believe that George Steinbrenner is the greatest owner in professional sports. Agree _____ Disagree ______ If the NY Yankees fail to win the World Series, I console myself with thoughts of world championships from the last millenium. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Red Sox Nation is filled with "Massholes" and that David Ortiz is a steroid user. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have never used steroids, because any testimony from the San Francisco Grand Jury was illegally obtained and has no probative value. Agree _____ Disagree _______ Dan, you sly dog. You already have the application. How did you get one? You must have some real clout. Of course, after the Sox last three games, I can understand how you might be willing to go to extraordinary lengths to get your hands on one of these. Let me know if you need any help. Oh and by the way, the answers to all the questions are "agree". Don't tell anyone I told you that. It will only hurt your chances. Up over and out. Aren't you endangering your own membership by giving out these answers? Well, I guess not: the sale of one's soul is, after all, a permanent non-reversible transaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzypaul Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Al, As we all know, there are only two kinds of baseball fans. Those who are fans of the Yankees and those who don't know it yet. I have in my hands a form that allows you to apply to become a fan of the Yankees. In order to do so, you must agree to sever any remaining ties with the Texas Rangers but, based upon your short and long term experiences as a Rangers fan, I wouldn't think this would be a problem. Now I must warn you, acceptance into the Yankee fraternity is not automatic. However, I do have some pull with the decision makers, so I think I can get you in. Just let me know if you're interested and I'll get the paperwork underway. Up over and out. Sample Questions From The Application: I believe that the NY Yankees are entitled to any player they desire. Agree____ Disagree _____ In conjunction with the above, I believe that all non-Yankee franchises should be compelled to give up players they can no longer afford for whatever crap the Yankee management deigns to offer. Agree _____ Disagree ______ I believe that George Steinbrenner is the greatest owner in professional sports. Agree _____ Disagree ______ If the NY Yankees fail to win the World Series, I console myself with thoughts of world championships from the last millenium. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Red Sox Nation is filled with "Massholes" and that David Ortiz is a steroid user. Agree _____ Disagree _____ I believe that Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield have never used steroids, because any testimony from the San Francisco Grand Jury was illegally obtained and has no probative value. Agree _____ Disagree _______ nicely done, Dan. You know, we did our best to help your cause last night. The least you can do is say thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Al, Yankee fans have no souls. Up over and out. Oops..... sorry, my bad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 You know, we did our best to help your cause last night. The least you can do is say thanks. That's true, and I'd be thankful if the Sox had managed a win, but with the loss you took over the wild card so ... You know, here's a great opportunity to help ourselves one way or another, since one of the two teams ahead has to lose, and we can't even beat KC. But since I still want to beat the Yanks - or at least not let them coast to the Division title - yeah, keep on beating 'em, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kulu se mama Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 take that you cardinal bastards! woohoo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 10, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) I kid you not about this: last night, after watching the Rangers take a 4-0 lead on the A’s, I shut the TV off for the night. Didn’t watch or listen to any more of the game before hittin’ the hay. Proceeded to have a dream that the Rangers blew the lead and lost 7-6. Which is exactly what happened. I swear I am not making this up. Probably means nothing more other than perhaps I’m too used to this crap. Al, last night I went to bed with a 4-3 seventh inning lead, two outs, second and third for the Royals, Timlin coming in. I figured it was over and fully expected to find out we lost 5-4. After all, Timlin has given up like 4 home runs in his last 5 1/3 innings. Especially after we twice had bases loaded and twice grounded into ending double plays. Now, it didn't happen the way I expected - Papelbon had a brutal blown save - but that was the score I woke up to. Like I said: FREEFALLIN It will be a weird September, not following the pennant races. Edited August 10, 2006 by Dan Gould Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzypaul Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Hey don't feel bad. The Sox are in third place for the first time since, 1998. I could at least always take solace in the fact that we were right on Minnesota's heels or something (well, we are still on their heels, I guess), but fuck, third place? We need pitching. More hitting would be nice. An owner and GM willing to drain the league of all of its good players with all of that extra money that they're charging for seats to see the world champions now would be grand as well. It's too bad that I can guarantee that Ken Williams isn't perusing the baseball thread on a jazz board. Right now we're a paper tiger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 (edited) Al, last night I went to bed with a 4-3 seventh inning lead, two outs, second and third for the Royals, Timlin coming in. I figured it was over and fully expected to find out we lost 5-4. After all, Timlin has given up like 4 home runs in his last 5 1/3 innings. Especially after we twice had bases loaded and twice grounded into ending double plays. Now, it didn't happen the way I expected - Papelbon had a brutal blown save - but that was the score I woke up to. Like I said: FREEFALLIN It will be a weird September, not following the pennant races. Ehhh, you get used to it after a while. Believe me, I speak from experience here! Edited August 10, 2006 by Big Al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Y'all ever get the feeling that no one in the MLB seems to be all that excited about winning anymore? Nobody's broken away from the pack; heck, even Detroit is starting to come apart. Doesn't anyone want to win anymore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyJazz Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 I think the Yanks want to win, in particular, Bobby Abreu. He seems to be playing pretty well for his new team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BERIGAN Posted August 10, 2006 Report Share Posted August 10, 2006 Al, last night I went to bed with a 4-3 seventh inning lead, two outs, second and third for the Royals, Timlin coming in. I figured it was over and fully expected to find out we lost 5-4. After all, Timlin has given up like 4 home runs in his last 5 1/3 innings. Especially after we twice had bases loaded and twice grounded into ending double plays. Now, it didn't happen the way I expected - Papelbon had a brutal blown save - but that was the score I woke up to. Like I said: FREEFALLIN It will be a weird September, not following the pennant races. Ehhh, you get used to it after a while. Believe me, I speak from experience here! Oh you guys, just shut up!!! At least your teams don't look like a last place team.....Next year, the Braves will probably battle the Phillies for last place.(Funny, the Phillie are playing fairly well right now) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 MY GOD when you think it can't get any worse, it does: SWEPT in Kansas City. That's it - I'm done. See y'all in the 2007 MLB thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) Ouch! I feel your pain, Dan. Especially since we were one game away from having that happen to us recently. Edited August 11, 2006 by Big Al Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyJazz Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) MY GOD when you think it can't get any worse, it does: SWEPT in Kansas City. That's it - I'm done. See y'all in the 2007 MLB thread. Shit happens. The Yanks got swept in KC last year and still wound up taking the division. Be glad that the White Sox took 2 of 3 and that you didn't fall further behind. As a Yank fan however, last night was truly an ugly but well-deserved loss. A-Rod takes the goat award again. Edited August 11, 2006 by MartyJazz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gould Posted August 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 This is different. We will finish closer to the Blue Jays, or possibly behind them, than we will a playoff spot. Bye-ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Al Posted August 11, 2006 Report Share Posted August 11, 2006 Y'know, if the baseball gods knew any mercy, the East and Central divisions would send their top two teams to the playoffs, and the West wouldn't send anyone, simply because any team playing barely above .500 doesn't deserve any post-season play! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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