Ok, Here's The Problem

[JSngry]

I don't mind pina coladas. Not my favorite by a long shot, but hey, a buzz is a buzz. Hold the umbrella and serve it w/a Jack chaser, if that's alright, and I'm cool.

But I really can't handle getting caught in the rain. Fuck that.

Not really into yoga either, although I have a lot of respect for the discipline. But me personally, at this juncture? Nah,

But the getting caught in the rain thing? Uh.......no. Again - fuck that.

I've got half a brain, hopefully, and thoroughly enjoy making love at midnight, be it by my time zone or somebody/anybody else's. No problem there. And sure, wearing a cape to The Dunes is fine by me, especially if there's nothing underneath.

But dammit, when I get caught in the rain, I get royally pissed and want to hurt somebody. Bad. Do I need to say it again?

Didn't think so.

So anyway, she sounds nice enough, but she wants me to come to Seattle. And I know it rains a lot there. And if she's one of these crazy bitches who like to get you into situations they know you don't like just to to try and get you to laugh at yourself and prove how "non-threatening" you really are, then I'm afraid there might be a problem.

So...

In summation:

Yes - Pina coladas, not into yoga, half a brain, and making love at midnight.

No - getting caught in the rain. One last time, to remove any and all uncertainty - fuck that.

So, that's 4 out of 5. Should I chance it?

As always, thanks in advance!

Edited February 23, 2006 by JSngry

[Guest]

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "what?"

[JSngry]

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "what?"

Don't be so sure...

[Peter Johnson]

I think I speak for all of us here when I say, "this place will be a damn sight better with your presence in it, Sangrey--come on out!"

Seriously, man--are you thinking about this? Happy to chat on or offline if you want all the (good and bad) details from my (now) one year as a transplant from Philadelphia (caveat--I grew up in Portland, OR, so have some roots...)

[JSngry]

It's just the getting caught in the rain thing. I'm afraid that that's a deal breaker.

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

My advice: keep it in your pants and be a good lad.

[JSngry]

But pina coladas are so...sexy!

[Guest]

I stand corrected, apparently some of us do know what we're talking about. I'll echo Peter since he seems to be in the "know" category. If somehow all of this is about moving to Seattle, I'm all for it and am happy to talk about why on or off-line.

I'll go ya one step further and add that I grew up in Texas, so I can draw all of the parallels.

Because I'm still not sure that's what we're talking about...I'll stop there.

Edited February 23, 2006 by TroyK

[Dave James]

Jim,

Are you talking about Seattle as a permanent gig? Have you ever been there? It's a georgeous city. Right on Puget Sound. People are nice, much like here in Portland. Dimitrio's Jazz Alley has national acts every weekend. Lucky Thompson is rumored to live there.

Yes, it does rain. I hate the rain probably more than you do, but I've lived in Portland all my life and you just get used to it. For about five months out of the year - between May and September, there's no nicer place on the planet. It's those other seven months you must look our for.

Traffic is horrible. One long jam going North from Tacoma to Everett every day. Marginal to non-existant urban planning.

The real question, though, that which might cause one to choose the road less taken, is the girl. What say you to that? Could make a helluva difference. A nice gal can make you forget about being wet...and many other things...at least for awhile.

Up over and out.

[JSngry]

To complicate matters further, she's got a sister on the East Coast named Ariel who likes musicians.

Don't know if I'd have to worry about getting caught in the rain or drinking pina coladas with her, so that's a plus. But I hear she also like to wear peasant blouses with nothing on underneath.

Peasant blouses????

Edited February 23, 2006 by JSngry

[(BB)]

How do you feel about Champagne?

[Chuck Nessa]

Go for it and die before your time.

[JohnJ]

Rupert Holmes is a guilty pleasure.

I was tired of my lady

We'd been together too long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

So while she lay there sleeping

I read the paper in bed

And in the personal columns

There was this letter I read

"If you like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

If you're not into yoga

If you have half a brain

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes on the Cape

Then I'm the love that you've looked for

Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady

I know that sounds kind of mean

But me and my old lady

Have fallen into the same old dull routine

So I wrote to the paper

Took out a personal ad

And though I'm nobody's poet

I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas

And getting caught in the rain

I'm not much into health food

I am into champagne

I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon

And cut through all this red-tape

At a bar called O'Malley's

Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes

And she walked in the place

I knew her smile in an instant

I knew the curve of her face

It was my own lovely lady

And she said, "Oh it's you."

Then we laughed for a moment

And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas

Getting caught in the rain

And the feel of the ocean

And the taste of champagne

If you'd like making love at midnight

In the dunes of the Cape

You're the lady I've looked for

Come with me and escape

[Peter Johnson]

I've never been caught in the rain here the way I was caught in the rain in Philadelphia! That said, there are many words for rain...mist/drizzle/showers/etc. etc. etc.

It's just the getting caught in the rain thing. I'm afraid that that's a deal breaker.

[John Tapscott]

[John Tapscott]

Oh wait, I meant to post that in the "What are you listening to now?" thread.

[Chuck Nessa]

I hate tricks. This sucks.

[marcello]

My advise is never to make a major decision based on a women's influence.

The're worse than drugs and quite a monkey to get off your back. A Gorilla ( or Magilla), as Bu would say.

That being said, the music scene is nice in Seattle ( where I have some industry friends and connections ) with a committed group of artists and fans.

[Peter Johnson]

[Jazzmoose]

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "what?"

I think Troy is onto something here...

[JSngry]

Sorry, Chuck. I was responding to your e-mail while you were posting. Full explanation included.

Hey, now I know I'm old. I like to occasionally play a game of taking really bad song lyrics and presenting them at face value as real-life situations, and then go about crackin' on them in the same way. I just assumed that most everybody would recognize the opening post as a goof on Rupert Holmes' 70s cheese classic "The Pina Colada Song" and start cracking wise. Didn't expect anybody to take it seriously. My bad, and sincerest apologies to all who did. Rest assured, LTB & I are doing great!

If it makes it any better, though, I've long had Seattle & Chicago on my short list of places to move to should Texas become truly unliveable.

Again, sorry for the mixup.

Edited February 23, 2006 by JSngry

[Dave James]

To complicate matters further, she's got a sister on the East Coast named Ariel who likes musicians.

Don't know if I'd have to worry about getting caught in the rain or drinking pina coladas with her, so that's a plus. But I hear she also like to wear peasant blouses with nothing on underneath.

Peasant blouses????

WHEN DO WE LEAVE?

Up over and out.

[JSngry]

http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/dean_friedman/ariel.html

[JSngry]

The up side to all this is that what was in its time one of the most reviled songs ever has not survived to be even a blip on the cultural radar of our younger people, and might well have been forgotten by those who were probably in a froth over it at the time (Moose?). "The Pina Colada song" is now VAPOR, as is, perhaps "Ariel". Gone and forgotten.

Perhaps something to keep in mind when railing against today's crap, eh?

[Soul Stream]

The Pina Colada Song should be buried 1000 ft down along with Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger In Paradise."

By the way Jim, knew immediately what you were doing. Must be the fact that I grew up in North Texas where that song was played constantly. Matter of fact, you were probably in NTSU and I was in grade school....were were sitting side by side at the subway sandwich shop listening to this over the shop radio.

Edited February 23, 2006 by Soul Stream