HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO KEEP IT TOGETHER???

[Rooster_Ties]

For like three months I've needed to go on an errand that's about a 25-mile drive south of where I live (and back), and I can NEVER seem to find time to take care of the damn thing.

And for two weeks I've needed to call 8 or 10 more people about donations I'd like them (and their businesses) to make for a charity auction for a performing arts group silent-auction fundraiser in two weeks. (I serve on the board of an auxiliary group related to the parent organization.) I've called four or five already, but me getting me to call the other 8 or 10 is like pulling teeth.

And every damn week for like the last 6 or 8 weeks -- I've had to call and recruit 6 ushers for the Sunday church services at our church -- cuz I can't find the damn time to call all 40 of the people on the ushering master list (which I'm in charge of keeping, and scheduling) -- to make sure that all the people still want to usher for the next three months, like they did for the last three months (and some of them do, and some of them don't). The last schedule I sent out in mid September (two weeks late) was for September through the end of November) I've been flying week to week since December.

And I've got a good-sized school project due in like 10 days -- for a not-for-profit fundraising course I'm taking (as part of a sort of an MBA program for people who work for not-for-profits). The actual project won't take but three hours to put together, but the research is gonna be more like 5 or 6 hours, and my only window of opportunity to work on the research is on Mondays (but couldn't last Monday, MLK day), or else from like 8:30am to 10am Wed-Fri (long story, but those are the only hours I have access to the research materials, and/or people I need to talk to).

And I've got stuff I'm supposed to be doing for the neighborhood association, on whose board I serve as vice president. Nothing huge, but stuff - nonetheless. Translation: More STUFF that won't get done until like 24 hours before is HAS to be done.

Oh, and there's the church hand bell choir I'm directing (which my wife and I just started back in October). And I need to meet with some local musician friends of mine to get them working on arrangements for me.

Oh, and I've got to get a committee together in the next 6 weeks to plan the next 12-month project to try and raise $10,000 to $15,000 so our church can actually buy a set of hand bells of their own (so we don't need to keep borrowing the bells and rehearsal space of another wonderful church). And oh, my wife and I and some others in the bell-choir need to move all those bells (usually over 60 of them), from the other church to our church once every six weeks (for our performances). And back again. And set-up for those bells means getting to church those mornings by like 7am. And moving them the day before. And moving them back after church.

And I need to be at all those hand bell-choir fundraising events, cuz I'll be the one planning all of them (well, my wife and I). No, actually -- the hand bell fundraising committee will be planning them -- so I'll have to find time for the hand bell fundraising committee meetings!!

And then there's that damn church music committee I'm on -- which is useless.

And I started a new job back in September (FINALLY, I actually have a full-time job for the first time in like three years). And I'm trying to learn the ropes there.

And then for work in March I'm supposed to take over for someone who'll be on maternity leave for 2 months, so I get to help plan THE biggest event our organization does each year -- and I've personally never been to ANY of the past versions of the same event from prior years, so I'm helping plan a HUGE event I've never even been to before. Honestly, I haven't a fucking clue if I can handle what they want me to do -- but they seem to think I can. And I probably can handle much or maybe even most of it. But I don't really KNOW that I can yet, and I won't really "know" until I actually "do".

And then when my wife goes out of town for work every 6 weeks or so, I pick up some things for her when she's gone. (She does PLENTY for me when she's here, so I ain't complaining. And she does that while being busier in her job than I am in mine, while also doing plenty of volunteer work for a couple other organizations too)

ANYWAY, you get the damn picture.

Those of you with busy lives, how the fuck do you do it?? My wife and I know plenty of people who seem to have as many or more irons in the fire as we do (and hell, many or even most of them have kids too!!! -- which (thank god) we don't have). How do they do it??

I also used to sing in a professional symphony chorus (for the last 10 years), but this past Fall - I just couldn't do it anymore, and keep up with everything else (not that I'm always keeping up with everything else as it is).

Oh, and last fall I did a couple dozen hours of volunteer work, planning some major political events for a new coalition of churches, who are doing some major social justice work on a regional level (too complicated to explain here). THAT was the thing that finally got me to quit the symphony chorus.

I've had 15% of the dining room left to paint (all the fine brush work) for over two years. And about 20% of the kitchen left to paint (again, all the fine brush work) for -- hell I don't even remember -- almost a year??

Sometimes I really think I can't keep all the balls in the air much longer. And yet, people around me do it all -- and seem to thrive doing it.

Sorry this is so babbly -- I didn't have time to edit it.

Edit: OK, I at least took the time to spell-check it. No time to REALLY edit it down, though.

Edited January 20, 2006 by Rooster_Ties

[Rooster_Ties]

Doesn't help that I'm the most disorganized ("professional") person I know.

Horrible confession(s) time -- all my life, I've never been able to keep a personal calendar well. I've done it a time or two, but it's always crap, and never close to being kept up. And my handwriting sucks (no really, I can't read it half the time myself), so personal calendars just remind me how crappy anything with that much of my own handwriting looks. Same with having a personal address book -- everything's in my wife's book (in her handwriting). And don't even ask me about my checkbook. And I've still got 10 years of my 401K savings in the plan at my last job -- where I haven't worked since like Jan. '01.

I should really stop here.

Edit: OK, I should have REALLY stopped before I started this thread.

Edited January 20, 2006 by Rooster_Ties

[Rooster_Ties]

Yeah, Rooster's loosin' it again.

[clifford_thornton]

I drink. It calms the nerves...

I feel in the same boat as you sometimes, granted with less of a load but I'm now back in grad school while continuing to try and do as much of my own freelance work as I can, plus regular job/s, etc., and find time to socialize, etc., I agree that it's a pain in the ass.

Usually if it doesn't get done, then it doesn't have to be done, right?

[BERIGAN]

I'm going to take a wild stab at it...are you an overachiever??? A perfectionist to boot??? Sounds like you have waaay too many irons in the fire. WAAAY too many. You are a nice guy, and probably can't say no to people. People think hell, he ain't got no kids, he's got loads of free time! And don't believe those people have more on their plate than you do, they either are getting by on 3 hours sleep, are on Meth, or both!

Seriously, I'm sure you will tell me if I'm way off base, but would you say that there was a similar pattern back in your (pre-College)school days? Pretty active in after school activities? Was your whole day planned out? You don't have to be organized, to be busy, in fact, the less organized.....

I saw the BFT Thread late, and I knew, just knew that you wanted to do a really special presentation, and that was going to be one reason why it was so late, I bet you spent hours on it, correct???

And that is part of the problem, being really anal.

I know I can waste hours, trying to make something just right. I remember as a kid working on a metal model car(a 50's T-bird), and expecting it to have a perfect paint job, from a can...It was almost perfect, but I had to keep messing with it....till I got too much paint on it, and screwed it up completely.

I used to have to have all my beta tapes in perfect alpha order, by title, within genre, then actors within the genre, and of course, I couldn't have a Sony Tape in a Maxell box either! I spent hours, and hours organizing things that really weren't that important. Car magazines, lp's, comic books, you name it...but, did I have the time to balance my checkbook? Nah!!! I knew what was really important.

I have learned to let go of some of my pet peeves, sony tapes can now go in an RCA box, my VHS tapes are in no particular order...my cds...well, they are in excellent order, but that is something really important!

I am tired, so to finish this thought, there are many books on organizing one's life, and if you haven't checked them out yet, do it! That, and fake a hearing loss at church, or tell them that you have a new home based job that is really eating up time, and can't be involved in all those Church activities for awhile.....

HMMM, you ain't one of them Pisces are ya??? They are just born lazy, have short attention spans, are unfocused, and won't balance a checkbook for love nor money(or lack thereof)

What interests you, is always going to be a higher priority, than the things you HAVE to do, they can always be put off....

[jazzbo]

I stopped going to Church (for many reasons, most paramount being they wanted to expend all sorts of energy and money for new elevators and handbells and all sorts of fluff for the Church and were so grudgingly reticient to give a dime to any relief efforts even in the next community, let alone to ferriners, how is that Christian?). That helped. I started learning to say "no" to people. It didn't make them fall over and turn purple so that was cool.

What really did help prioritize things for me was marriage. My wife NEEDS me a bit more than other wives might need their husbands. I want to be there for her. So I build my life needs around being available for her. That has really worked well for helping me to manage my time.

Edited January 20, 2006 by jazzbo

[Rosco]

Keep that personal calender- use one on your computer so you don't have to deal with the handwriting. Prioritizing and planning your time helps you to deal with things much more clearly and efficiently.

Do less. Being able to say 'no' without feeling you're letting people down can be a big thing to deal with but it gets easier.

[jazzbo]

Good suggestion about the PC calendar. Lotus Notes has a calendar that will email you notices before events you place. . . this is a really good feature. .. I've been saved from missing meetings by these reminders in the past.

[JSngry]

I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't give a fuck.

Amazing how much that helps to take the pressure off...

[Parkertown]

Rooster,

Yeah, I had a feeling about you...

Don't sweat it, buddy. I have the exact same problem!!! So I'll be watching the suggestions as well...

Edited January 20, 2006 by Parkertown

[Dan Gould]

What exactly are you doing, on a day-to-day basis? Where does the time go (how is it spent)? Do you get anything accomplished on a daily or weekly basis?

On the question of this errand ... do you ever say to yourself, "damn, I should have taken care of that errand instead of (watching the football game)." Or are your days so full that you simply never have the chance to do this errand?

I am guessing not. I am guessing that in fact you often kill time doing things you want to do or prefer to do, or simply can't get motivated to actually do what you need to get done, like making those phone calls.

I have only one time management technique. Its rather anal, but it does help me get a grip on the things that I have to do, the things that are running through my mind at a given time. Yes, its the simple "To Do" list. Every week, and often updated in between, I list out the things that are on my plate. Everything from getting estimates on our hurricane damage so I can fax them to the insurance company and get more $$ out of them to getting a haircut appointment for this weekend.

The benfit is two-fold:

1) I don't lose track of my obligations. I also reduce my mental stress-load because I am not obsessing, mentally, on what needs to be done. Everything is right there on paper.

2) I get a feeling of accomplishment when I cross something off the list.

[rostasi]

How do I do it?

Well, often I don't do it!

and that just pisses me off 'cause it's

usually due to distractions.

I do use a strange method that

caters to my love of randomness

(it involves timers, random functions and lights,

but I won't get into that...)

The other distraction (I dare say)

is this forum...I'm sitting here typing this

when I should be finishing up this compilation

I've been working on. I've promised that this was going to be done

for the beginning of the year - each disc and cover

individually handmade - but if I get right back to it,

I'll still be getting it out next week at the earliest.

Let's not talk about the slew of other professional projects

and the personal filing (getting audio, visuals, and text on discs)

that has to be done.

I agree with the other's here...we just have to learn to say "No" sometimes.

[Free For All]

[Soulstation1]

LMAO

[Jim Alfredson]

Tom, we all have problems with accomplishing things we set out to do. I know I do... I have a lot of projects on my plate that have yet to be finished (has anyone received their organissimo posters yet? )

One problem of mine is that I tend to not want to delegate responsability. I'd rather try to do everything myself, rather than teach someone how to do it. Which means I oftentimes bite off more than I can chew.

I also have problems saying no to family and friends. My brother and I are the computer gurus of the family and so I have someone usually once a week needing me to come over and help with some computer problem. Today my buddy from high school is coming over with a new motherboard for his machine that I will install. Many times these things take the place of other things I should be doing (like dishes, laundry, etc.) and then my wife gets a bit upset that I haven't done what we need done before helping friends. But that's just the way I am.

Anyway, good luck... I second the computer calendar or PDA calendar idea if you don't like your handwriting. I use Outlook's calendar and TO DO list and it helps me tremendously since it also syncs with my cell phone.

[catesta]

I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't give a fuck.

Amazing how much that helps to take the pressure off...

hehe

Funny, but can be true. Selfishness is way under appreciated.

My suggestion is simple. Like others have said, cut out all the bullshit. You don't loose points in life if you only take on what you can handle.

I've done way more on a daily basis than I or anyone should have for years. And did it without really keeping any official schedule or planners. I had/have an assistant that did a real good job keeping shit in order, but it utlimately falls on me to get it done.

When it comes to work I just delegate more, when it comes to my personal life I just refuse to take on more shit than I want to deal with.

I still don't use a planner other than scribbling some notes down in a pad from time to time. Of course, I don't recommend that method of organization for just anyone.

[Quincy]

As someone else who has done volunteer and non-profit work, there comes a time to say no. There also comes a time to resign some obligations. Chances are these functions will continue on without you just fine. Your absence may give someone else the opportunity to feel a sense of accomplishment rather than you getting to hog it all for yourself.

Give up some of that stuff! You'll still be doing good work without having to do ALL the good work!

[Jim R]

For like three months I've needed to go on an errand that's about a 25-mile drive south of where I live (and back), and I can NEVER seem to find time to take care of the damn thing.

And for two weeks I've needed to call 8 or 10 more people about donations I'd like them (and their businesses) to make for a charity auction for a performing arts group silent-auction fundraiser in two weeks. (I serve on the board of an auxiliary group related to the parent organization.) I've called four or five already, but me getting me to call the other 8 or 10 is like pulling teeth.

And every damn week for like the last 6 or 8 weeks -- I've had to call and recruit 6 ushers for the Sunday church services at our church -- cuz I can't find the damn time to call all 40 of the people on the ushering master list (which I'm in charge of keeping, and scheduling) -- to make sure that all the people still want to usher for the next three months, like they did for the last three months (and some of them do, and some of them don't). The last schedule I sent out in mid September (two weeks late) was for September through the end of November) I've been flying week to week since December.

And I've got a good-sized school project due in like 10 days -- for a not-for-profit fundraising course I'm taking (as part of a sort of an MBA program for people who work for not-for-profits). The actual project won't take but three hours to put together, but the research is gonna be more like 5 or 6 hours, and my only window of opportunity to work on the research is on Mondays (but couldn't last Monday, MLK day), or else from like 8:30am to 10am Wed-Fri (long story, but those are the only hours I have access to the research materials, and/or people I need to talk to).

And I've got stuff I'm supposed to be doing for the neighborhood association, on whose board I serve as vice president. Nothing huge, but stuff - nonetheless. Translation: More STUFF that won't get done until like 24 hours before is HAS to be done.

Oh, and there's the church hand bell choir I'm directing (which my wife and I just started back in October). And I need to meet with some local musician friends of mine to get them working on arrangements for me.

Oh, and I've got to get a committee together in the next 6 weeks to plan the next 12-month project to try and raise $10,000 to $15,000 so our church can actually buy a set of hand bells of their own (so we don't need to keep borrowing the bells and rehearsal space of another wonderful church). And oh, my wife and I and some others in the bell-choir need to move all those bells (usually over 60 of them), from the other church to our church once every six weeks (for our performances). And back again. And set-up for those bells means getting to church those mornings by like 7am. And moving them the day before. And moving them back after church.

And I need to be at all those hand bell-choir fundraising events, cuz I'll be the one planning all of them (well, my wife and I). No, actually -- the hand bell fundraising committee will be planning them -- so I'll have to find time for the hand bell fundraising committee meetings!!

And then there's that damn church music committee I'm on -- which is useless.

And I started a new job back in September (FINALLY, I actually have a full-time job for the first time in like three years). And I'm trying to learn the ropes there.

And then for work in March I'm supposed to take over for someone who'll be on maternity leave for 2 months, so I get to help plan THE biggest event our organization does each year -- and I've personally never been to ANY of the past versions of the same event from prior years, so I'm helping plan a HUGE event I've never even been to before. Honestly, I haven't a fucking clue if I can handle what they want me to do -- but they seem to think I can. And I probably can handle much or maybe even most of it. But I don't really KNOW that I can yet, and I won't really "know" until I actually "do".

And then when my wife goes out of town for work every 6 weeks or so, I pick up some things for her when she's gone. (She does PLENTY for me when she's here, so I ain't complaining. And she does that while being busier in her job than I am in mine, while also doing plenty of volunteer work for a couple other organizations too)

ANYWAY, you get the damn picture.

Those of you with busy lives, how the fuck do you do it?? My wife and I know plenty of people who seem to have as many or more irons in the fire as we do (and hell, many or even most of them have kids too!!! -- which (thank god) we don't have). How do they do it??

I also used to sing in a professional symphony chorus (for the last 10 years), but this past Fall - I just couldn't do it anymore, and keep up with everything else (not that I'm always keeping up with everything else as it is).

Oh, and last fall I did a couple dozen hours of volunteer work, planning some major political events for a new coalition of churches, who are doing some major social justice work on a regional level (too complicated to explain here). THAT was the thing that finally got me to quit the symphony chorus.

I've had 15% of the dining room left to paint (all the fine brush work) for over two years. And about 20% of the kitchen left to paint (again, all the fine brush work) for -- hell I don't even remember -- almost a year??

Sometimes I really think I can't keep all the balls in the air much longer. And yet, people around me do it all -- and seem to thrive doing it.

Sorry this is so babbly -- I didn't have time to edit it.

Edit: OK, I at least took the time to spell-check it. No time to REALLY edit it down, though.

For starters, you could spend WAY less time on your posts (and edits thereof) here... and shorten your frigging thread titles! (try using one question mark at a time)

[JSngry]

Yeah, like Miles told Trane...

Edited January 21, 2006 by JSngry

[Chuck Nessa]

Yeah, like Miles told Trane...

[Johnny E]

HMMM, you ain't one of them Pisces are ya??? They are just born lazy, have short attention spans, are unfocused, and won't balance a checkbook for love nor money(or lack thereof)

Hey, watch it buddy!!!

(you just described me to a tee)

DOB:3/3/70

Edited January 21, 2006 by Johnny E

[Johnny E]

Yeah, like Miles told Trane...

Take the horn out your mouth.

[JSngry]

Correct!

Now, would you like to keep your money or trade it for what's behind Curtain #2?

[wesbed]

I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't give a fuck. Amazing how much that helps to take the pressure off...

I'm right there with you, man.

[catesta]

For starters, you could spend WAY less time on your posts (and edits thereof) here... and shorten your frigging thread titles! (try using one question mark at a time)

I just found the time to laugh my ass off....