Wedding Etiquette Question

[Guy Berger]

I'm attending a friend's wedding tomorrow (not a very close friend, just a guy I play poker with and discuss sports with). For whatever reason, despite thinking about it earlier this week I completely forgot to purchase a gift and just went online to buy them a gift card via their registry. Is having a gift arrive several days the wedding a major breach of etiquette? Do I need to bring a card or something?

Guy

[Peter Johnson]

No--I believe you have up to a year after the wedding date to get a gift. And if that's not _the_ rule, it's _my_ rule!

[Brad]

It's no bid deal in my book. Heck, they'll be so busy at the wedding nyway that it's probably better it comes afterwards.

[White Lightning]

  Quote

No--I believe you have up to a year after the wedding date to get a gift. And if that's not _the_ rule, it's _my_ rule! 

This way, if the couple call it off after a few months, you can call it off as well!

I went to this wedding once, got them a nice present, then after 6 months or so they are divorced. The wedding was a scam if you ask me - to get people buy them stuff they needed.

Edited May 28, 2005 by White Lightning

[kinuta]

Barak did you ever see the famous Seinfeld episode titled ' The Drake' ?

The gang chipped in to buy the soon to be hitched Drake and Drake-ess a giant tv but things did not work out as planned. Very funny episode.

[Dan Gould]

Or, you may consider signing the guest book and then carefully palming the card off of any of the gifts on the gift table. They'll simply assume that the gift with no card was from you.

** Full disclosure: I stole this idea from the TV series Wings.**

[Guest Chaney]

Men are exempt from wedding etiquette.

[vibes]

I wouldn't worry too much about it. The guy should be happy just to be getting a gift from you.

[rachel]

Guy, you get an A+. Actually, the technically correct way is for gifts to be sent to the house either before or after the wedding, and I believe the 'one year rule' does apply (or is it 3 months?... whichever, you're covered). This saves the couple from dealing w/957 gifts at the reception. Naturally, one can't expect everybody to have knowledge of this, hence the gift tables at receptions for those who choose to bring their gifts to the wedding. Also the gift table seems to be a regional custom, but you can't go wrong with having it mailed directly to the couple, as evidenced by the Wings episode. (saw that one too--hilarious!)

OK, now's the time to fess up... you did the 'Chicken Dance', didn't ya?

Edited May 28, 2005 by rachel

[patricia]

Mention of the damnable "Chicken Dance" reminded me of a remark that my father made at a wedding years ago. He said that seeing normally sensible, dignified people doing the chicken dance in formal clothes at a fancy wedding reception was like seeing a preview of what HELL is surely like.

And, Guy, you've got a year to get a gift, but don't wait a year to get a gift.

If you don't get a thank you note within three months, then you can say that they haven't read Emily Post, for whatever satisfaction that gets you.

This stuff is what sets us apart from the barnyard animals. THEY do the Chicken Dance, proudly, with enthusiasm and without shame.

Edited May 29, 2005 by patricia

[catesta]

Give cash.