Those spammers!!

[GregK]

Check out this email I got spammed with tonight. Some people actually fall for this stuff??

FROM LOUIS DIMBA (ESQ)

LOUIS DIMBA & ASSOCIATES,

# 30 BASHUA STREET,

SURULERE, LAGOS - NIGERIA.

DearSIR/MADAM ,

I am Barrister louis dimba,the Personal Attorney to Mr Larry , A foreigner who used to work with Mekon Associates company in Nigeria,On the 2nd of March

2000, my client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along Port Harcourt Road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet,to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist me in repartrating the money left behind by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the finance house where this huge deposits were lodged.

Particularly, the finance house where the deceased had an account valued at about 20 million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next ten official

working days.

since I have been nsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 4years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at $20 million dollars can be paid to you and then you and i can share the money. 55% to me and 40% to you,while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require,I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make.

All we need to do is to obtain an {AFFIDAVIT OF TRUE BENEFICIARY} from the Federal High Court of Justice,

In Federal Republic of Nigeria to prove that you are the next of kin to my late client, I have other document's that will aid us to claim the Fund.

His estates have been handed over to the Finance House

until i locate the next of kin to my late client, All this will hand over to you as the only surviving relation to my late client.

as soon as we obtain an Affidavit of true beneficiary from the Federal High Court of Justice then, We prove to Federal Government of Nigeria, Federal Ministry of Finance, Federal Fund Monitor and the Fiance House that you are the next of kin to my late client.

{1}. YOUR FULL NAME.

{2}. YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS.

{3}. YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER.

{4}. YOUR AGE & OCCUPATION.

{5}. YOUR IDENTIFICATION.

pleaseget intouch with me by my confidencial e-mail address as louisdimba@yahoo.co.uk

as soon as I receive these information I will forward an application to the Bank immediately with your name as the new beneficiary of my late client I hereby inform you to act according to my instruction as it is stated and call me as soon as possible.

Thanks and may God bless you

[Dan Gould]

How exactly are they "getting" clever? This is a standard Nigerian email, cousin to the "My Father, the dead oil minister" version, and I must have gotten it for the first time at least five years ago.

Its not new, its not different, and they're certainly not getting clever.

[GregK]

How exactly are they "getting" clever? This is a standard Nigerian email, cousin to the "My Father, the dead oil minister" version, and I must have gotten it for the first time at least five years ago.

Its not new, its not different, and they're certainly not getting clever.

how? this message is a lot more clever than the usual prescription drug messages I get!

It IS new to me, it IS different, and it's certainly more clever than what normally fills up my inbox!

[Dan Gould]

Then you have to be the only person in the world who hasn't previously gotten Nigerian Scam emails. Congratulations. Since they've got your email now, you can look forward to heart-rendering stories like the poor Queen who's been run out of her country and needs a gullible American to help her regain her fortune.

Not to mention the corrupt beauracrats who have been double dipping funds from oil contracts into a separate account, but strangely enough need an American to help them get the money out of the country. You can pocket 30% of the net proceeds!!!

Personally, I find the penis enlargement spam to be much more clever, even if they prey on slightly different male fantasies: big bucks v. big dick.

[Christiern]

They are as funny as they are pesky, which is why I keep them. My collection, at this point, could fill a small book.

I don't think these letters are clever, but that may be because they are so transparent. Still, the fact that they keep coming, year after year, tells me that there are takers (i.e., losers). That people can be so gullible is a measure of their greed.

[connoisseur series500]

They are as funny as they are pesky, which is why I keep them. My collection, at this point, could fill a small book.

I don't think these letters are clever, but that may be because they are so transparent. Still, the fact that they keep coming, year after year, tells me that there are takers (i.e., losers). That people can be so gullible is a measure of their greed.

Sometimes it's the elderly who fall for this stuff. I work with seniors on a daily basis at the bank, and many of them are in various stages of dotage. They have enough mental wherewithal to get through most of the day, but they are not considered bad enough to warrant permanent stay in a hospice or nursing home. I believe that they might fall prey to this kind of stuff.

[Dan Gould]

I don't think its just the elderly who fall prey to the Nigerian scam, though one would hope that as long as it has been going on and as much attention is given to it, they'd be having a harder time finding the next sucker to scam.

But then again, supposedly one is born every minute ...

[Christiern]

A couple of years ago, I received one such letter via snailmail. Their use of my full name, includding middle, told me that their address source s probably Who's Who, but the funny thing was that the address ended with:

New York, NY 10025
England

Obviously not Who's Who in America

[Brownian Motion]

They are as funny as they are pesky, which is why I keep them. My collection, at this point, could fill a small book.

I don't think these letters are clever, but that may be because they are so transparent. Still, the fact that they keep coming, year after year, tells me that there are takers (i.e., losers). That people can be so gullible is a measure of their greed.

Sometimes it's the elderly who fall for this stuff. I work with seniors on a daily basis at the bank, and many of them are in various stages of dotage. They have enough mental wherewithal to get through most of the day, but they are not considered bad enough to warrant permanent stay in a hospice or nursing home. I believe that they might fall prey to this kind of stuff.

My grandmother use to tell me "There's no fool like an old fool."

[Aggie87]

My favorite Nigerian scam was the one regarding the Nigerian Astronaut who was stuck aboard the Russian module of the Space Station. I don't recall if they needed money to get him home, or were trying to unload his money since he wasn't gonna make it back to Earth. B-)

edit - found a copy of it on the net (I hope the author doesn't mind me posting it here, since it is STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL, of course):

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home

Dr. Bakare Tunde

Astronautics Project Manager

National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)

Plot 555

Misau Street

PMB 437

Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde

Astronautics Project Manager

tip@nasrda.gov.ng

Edited May 15, 2005 by Aggie87

[Brownian Motion]

[Fran]

I have been getting these for years too- I don't save them but I do foward them, with a copy to the sender, to our former company controller. And I tell the sender that Mr X is very adept at moving money around so that it is very difficult to trace. I suggest they contact him imediately.

It keeps my old friend constantly pissed off.

[Uncle Skid]

Here's something I've never seen before -- I've received four of these in the last two days, each one slightly different:

Subject: Notice:***Your email account will be suspended***

To safeguard your email account from possible termination, please see the attached file.

Subject: Notice: **Last Warning**

We have suspended some of your email services, to resolve the problem you should read the attached document.

Subject: *IMPORTANT* Your Account Has Been Locked

Follow the instructions in the attachment.

All of these have attachments, which I'm sure include some sort of worm or virus. The "FROM" addresses have all been spoofed as well: mail@, webmaster@, and service@ from a domain that I own.

Nice.

[Jazz Kat]

Spammers suck.... My dad got one where the idiot found out his name and was calling him, "gay." It was really stupid!

[scottb]

I got one of these this week from "a banker" in Madrid who knew of a fortune in an unclaimed account and he was going to help me claim the money and then we'd split it up and then he was to destroy all the records at the bank so we'd be scott free!!

I thought about calling the FBI but then I remembered that this kind of thing is not illegal in many countries.

[Aggie87]

Got another one today. Must have been that one time I passed through Liege, to hop a Virgin Air flight to Malaga...

... and too bad I'm breaching the confidentiality of the email by sharing it here, and thus disqualifying myself.

Though this is the first one I've received that isn't from Nigeria in a while

***********************************

Wilhelmus van dijk Stichting

voor menselijk gebruik van de informatietechnologie

Rue P. J. Delcloche 19

4021 Liege, Belgium.

REF. NUMBER: LCL/835900/10/04

BATCH NUMBER: 43-4-0-06-WDS

Dear Sir/Madam,

RE: NOTIFICATION

The WILHELMUS VAN DIJK STICHTING, Liege, a foundation for the encouragement of human utilisation of information technology is conducting the LevaCom Lottery to encourage the use of the internet and computer education worldwide.

We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as a mega-winner in the LevaCom Lottery held on January 27th, 2005. Your email address attached to ticket number 43-4-0-06 with serial number 00647947 drew the lucky numbers 11-77-11-77-77-11. You have therefore been approved for a pay out of US$1,200,000.00 (one million, two hundred thousand dollars only) in cash.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Please be informed that all participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through a computer ballot system with millions of entrants sourced using search engines and web sites.

To file for your claims please contact the designated claims agent below:

LARRY WATKINS,

PUBLIC RELATIONS DEPT.

BERTHON NHS LTD

ENGLAND

email: berthonltd@hotmail.com

All winnings must be claimed not later than June 3rd, 2005, after this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications endeavour to quote your reference and batch numbers in all first correspondence.

Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.

Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification.

Sincerely,

Erika Simonsen(Ms)

INFORMATION DEPARTMENT

NB: Please do not reply to this mail, contact your claims' agent. Also you are automatically disqualified if you are below 18years of age.

[BruceW]

GregK,

Know of a bridge you might be interested in.....

[Dave James]

I get about two of these a month at work. My twin brother got enough of them that he finally wound up writing one guy back, telling him that he'd already taken advantage of about six similar offers and that, as a result, he how had over $50 million in his bank account. He asked that the sender remove him from his mailing list, saying that he already had plenty of money but that he was sure there were others out there who weren't so fortunate. The guy actually wrote him back and was bent out of shape by the flippant tone of my brother's message. Give me a break.

Up over and out.

Edited May 29, 2005 by Dave James

[Jazzmoose]

The guy actually wrote him back and was bent out of shape by the flippant tone of my brother's message.  Give me a break.

←

No shit? I'm really pissed now! I put a lot of work into my reply to one asking for his aid in moving a large fortune out of the U.S. to avoid inheritance tax before I could help him with his problem, and I got no answer at all!

[Aggie87]

bump...

Man, is anybody watching the budget in Nigeria at all????

************************************

From: "mkl dsed" <mkldsed@hotmail.com>

Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 7:08 AM

Subject: PUTTING HEAD TOGETHER

FROM THE OFFICE OF CADURY FOREMAN

CHAIRMAN Contract Award Committee

Petroleum and Natural Resources

please reply to (cadinal.funy@gmail.com)

I am the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee of the Petroleum and

Natural Resources Ministry here in Nigeria[NNPC], for security reasons,

I may not wish to disclose how I got your email address for now.

After due deliberation with my partner, I decided to forward to you

this business proposal, we want you to assist us receive the sum of

Thirthy Million, United States Dollars

(US$30m) into your account. This funds resulted from an over-invoiced

contract awarded by us under the budget allocation to my ministry and

the bill was approved for payment by the concerned ministries.

The contract was executed, commissioned and the contractor was paid his

actual

cost of the contract. Now, we are left with the balance of us28.6m as

the over invoiced amount, which we have deliberately over estimated for

our own use. Please note that the law forbids civil servants to operate

or own foreign accounts hence this contact, we have agreed to share the

money in the following percentages: 30 for you, 60 for us 10 for tax as

may be required by your government.

Note that this transaction is very much free from all sorts of risk

hence the business was carefully planned before it was successfully

executed and we the officials involved in the deal have put many years in

service to our ministry. We have been exercising patience for this

privilege for so long not until the presidential announcement last week that

all foreign contractors owed be paid forthwith, this will enable the

presidential tax force reconcile our debt ratio with the outside world

especially now that we are begging for dept forgiveness from our foreign

creditors.To most of us involved in this deal its a life time blessing

we cannot afford to miss. Upon indication of your interest to fully

co-operate with us, a payment application/information form will be sent to

you via email for completion.

Note that the following information: a) bankers name and address, b)

account number and account name and c) your private phone number and

email address will enable us seek/secure approval of the fund from the

concerned government quarters/ministries within 3-4 banking days.

As soon as we confirm receipt of this money in your nominated bank

account, my partner and I will come over to your country to arrange for our

own share and possibly invest part of this money in your country.

Let honesty and trust be our watchword throughout this transaction. I

shall furnish you with some details about myself. Your prompt reply will be

highly appreciated.

Best regards.

CADURY FOREMAN

E.mail: (cadinal.funy@gmail.com)

[Joe G]

[Aggie87]

I bet he's listening to King Sunny Ade...

[RDK]

Do you think this e-mail I got earlier today is kosher?

How are you?

I am flying to work in the USA for 12 weeks

may be we can meet each other and have some great time

or may be more. I am looking forward to getting your message

to my personal email cuttie@realmeet.info.

I will reply with a picture

I am cute girl

Do not kreply to this email. WriteW to me directly.

loft antoine conner ehrlich wink allele concept thoroughbred cruddy integument avuncular have precise petunia thwart ammonia aggression conversation meridional bludgeon berg credent fame notre sean brainy bootlegged minnow

[Jazzmoose]

Well, I personally never kreply to those things!