M-LAW's Wacky Warning Label Contest

[Claude]

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/

A flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene” has been identified as the nation’s wackiest warning label in an annual contest sponsored by a consumer watchdog group.

The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in it’s eighth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products.

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OTHER WINNERS:

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”

Third place and $100 went to Ann Marie Taylor of Camden, South Carolina who found the following warning on a digital thermometer that can be used to take a person’s temperature several different ways: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”

Fourth place was a label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in “blending, whipping, chopping and dicing,” that warns: “Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.” Sent in by Ken Stein of Berkeley, California.

In fifth place was a label on a nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material. It carries this warning: “Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device.”Sent in by Christen Millard of Westerville, Ohio.

(..)

Following is a list of some of the best labels from the first seven contests:

- A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding

- A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed

- A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”

- A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

- A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”

- The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”

- A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”

- A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”

- A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”

- An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”

- A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”

- A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”

- A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”

- A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”

- A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”

- A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”

- A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”

- A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”

- A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”

- A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”

Edited January 12, 2005 by Claude

[BruceH]

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”

If I were the judge, this one would have been the winner.

[Alexander]

Laugh all you want, but there's a reason for these warning lables. Somebody somewhere was dumb enough to try at least some of these things at some point.

KENT BROCKMAN: There's only one cure for "football fever..." Take two tickets, and go see Saturday's game!

ANNOUNCER: Tickets not to be taken internally.

HOMER: See? Because of me, they have a warning!

[Son-of-a-Weizen]

- A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

And here I thought my sister was the only person on earth who'd regularly fall asleep in bed with the hair dryer running. She liked the sound of it and the warmth under the covers. Used to drive my mom crazy with fear that she'd burn the place down. Geez, it wasn't like we had to forage around for sticks to burn in order to heat the place. I wonder if she's the only person on earth who'll only eated mashed or baked potato if it has gobs of grape jelly on it?

[Claude]

New year, new wacky warning labels:

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/index.html

HEAT GUN THAT WARNS: “DO NOT USE AS HAIRDRYER” WINS TOP PRIZE IN M-LAW’S NINTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTEST

A heat gun and paint remover that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees and warns users, “Do not use this tool as a hair dryer” has been identified as the nation’s wackiest warning label in M-LAW’s annual Wacky Warning Label Contest.

OTHER WINNERS:

- For those people who aren’t “the sharpest knife in the drawer.” The $250 second place award went to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids, Michigan for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: “Never try to catch a falling knife.”

- “Hurry up, bartender! I’m late for the regatta.” The $100 third place award goes to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colorado who found a very wacky warning on a cocktail napkin. The napkin has a map of the waterways around Hilton Head, South Carolina printed on it along with this: “Caution: Not to be used for navigation.”

- And don’t eat the yellow snow, either. Kirk Dunham of Seabrook, Texas gets an honorable mention for a warning label he found on a bottle of dried bobcat urine made to keep rodents and other pests away from garden plants. It says: “Not for human consumption.”

- But will it get cold in the refrigerator? Another honorable mention goes to Lyne Anton of Elk, California who found the following warning label on a baking pan: “Ovenware will get hot when used in oven.”

[DTMX]

Just last night I saw a television ad that showed some sharks swimming around as seen from below. Then the viewer breaks through to the surface and the perspective changes so that the viewer is looking down on an SUV driving out of the ocean and onto the beach. My first thought was "wait for it", and there it was: a line of text at the bottom of the screen saying something to the effect of "Vehicle will not function underwater".

[patricia]

I would imagine that most of those warning labels were considered necessary because there are always some litigation-happy yahoos who will sue. Their defense would be that they "didn't know" that coffee is hot, that candles are not for any alternative use, that heat guns are really hot etc. Lawsuits have been won, because the litigant has convinced a jury that because they are stupid, the manufacturers have to factor that into the use of their product.

I can't help thinking of the Darwin Awards.

[Dan Gould]

- A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”

I wouldn't be at all surprised that this really is a necessary warning. Two, three feet of snow on a flat roof, I can picture a lot of people who are worried about the weight of all that snow, thinking about lugging that thing out a window.

But the rest ...