BeBop Posted June 27, 2004 Report Posted June 27, 2004 I'm getting old. Actually, I became old quite some time ago; my condition has just worsened with age. I'm walking down the street. I spy an awning overhanging the sidewalk a couple of blocks ahead. "Jazz", it says. "Hmmm." I think. (A rather profound thought for my progressively enfeebled mind.) "Could it be a nightclub? A record store? Perhaps just a 'jazz' dance studio?" I've got a couple of blocks to contemplate the possibilities. By the time I get within fifty (or was it fifteen?) feet, it's become clear that the "Jazz" is actually "1422", the street address. So, should I blame my failing eyesight? Can I claim that I have the word "jazz" so deeply burned into my cognitive memory that it tends to swamp optical input? Does this make me an optimist? Give it to me straight, Doc. For now, I've adopted 1422 as my code word for... Quote
BeBop Posted June 27, 2004 Author Report Posted June 27, 2004 Actually, I'm just messin'. My mind's still as sharp as a brick sh*thouse. Quote
Chuck Nessa Posted June 27, 2004 Report Posted June 27, 2004 Right,,,,,,ya, I buy the 2nd story. 1422, I always thought that meant jazz. I hit the semi magic 60 this year. Damn, wish I wasn't so STUPID. Quote
Guest Chaney Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 (edited) Now, I'd like to begin by asking each person to go to the furthest corner of his / her room and, facing your computer screen, slowly walk toward same. (If you're a lazy bastard and either your chair isn't on wheels or you can't find anyone strong enough to carry your bulk across the room to perform this simple test, sit where you are and squint.) 1 .... 4 .... 2 .... 2 J .... A .... Z .... Z A mistake anyone could make. This test is NOT recommended for individuals over the age of 59 years as the risk of injury is great. You are strongly urged to first seek the guidance of a health care professional before attempting the complex maneuvers described above. If you feel you must participate, please take all necessary precautions: ask someone young to first clear the room of all furniture; if you must wear slippers and a robe, ask someone young to scuff the soles of your slippers to provide better traction and securely cynch your robe so as to avoid it getting tangled in your legs; don't be a hero: use your walker / cane; wear a helmet, if available; remove your dentures; whether imagined or real, be certain to restrain your cat; if you should lose your concentration (or focus) and find yourself in an little remembered part of your home, as best you can, call for help; if you feel that it's highly likely that you wil wander off, plan ahead by asking your attendant to fit you with a fresh diaper or pad and place a small bag of cookies in your robe pocket -- but always remember: plastic bags are not toys! Edited June 28, 2004 by Chaney Quote
rachel Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 I am an eyecare professional. People mistake a "Z" for a "2" all of the time.... especially those wearing disposable undergarments.... Quote
Chuck Nessa Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 I am an eyecare professional. People mistake a "Z" for a "2" all of the time.... especially those wearing disposable undergarments.... Are you sure you don't mean "edible"? Quote
rachel Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 Nah... that's a whole different punchline... Quote
BeBop Posted June 28, 2004 Author Report Posted June 28, 2004 Thanks for the levity, y'all. Well y'almost-all, anyway. Can always count on this bunch for clever contributions. I kinda miss those days when I saw the word "sex" in everything. Quote
Saxophone__Vagina Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 Wasn't 1422 Buddy Bolden's address? 1422 is my house number! Quote
Free For All Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 Wasn't 1422 Buddy Bolden's address? 1422 is my house number! Oh yeah? If you subtract MY house number from 1422 you get 318. 3 goes into 18 six times, and six is the sum of the numbers in my address. If you multiply 6 by half of 1422 (711) you get 4266. Add the first two numbers in 4266 and you get 666, the bad bad number. Mere coincidence? Perhaps. Might I be crazy? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm so sane that.....that.....that I'm........NOT.........crazy. Quote
maren Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 In the year 1422, Ketsugan, Zen teacher, performs exorcisms to free aizoji temple. So you should be just fine, Free For All.... Quote
Free For All Posted June 28, 2004 Report Posted June 28, 2004 Just the other day, I myself was attempting to free a aizoji temple. I guess I need more fibre in my diet. Quote
BFrank Posted June 29, 2004 Report Posted June 29, 2004 If you were looking in a mirror and saw S S A L you might be surprised, too. Quote
PHILLYQ Posted June 29, 2004 Report Posted June 29, 2004 If you were looking in a mirror and saw S S A L you might be surprised, too. But not if you're a dyslexic Scottish female... Quote
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